Christmas Shopping for BIL#1 and his family

[IDrinkaRum]

Over 2 weeks ago, BIL#1 texted Mr. Rum with the request for Mr. Rum to text BIL#1 with Mr. Rum's e-mail address so BIL#1 could send Mr. Rum the Christmas list for his family (which is BIL#1, his wife: SIL#1, and daughters K1 and K3).

So, we get 4 separate lists for each family member. We got these lists after we had to call BIL#1 to remind him to send the list to Mr. Rum. We. were. the. last. people. to. get. the. lists.

Also, we have to call SIL#1 to see if the gifts we pick off the list to buy for BIL#1, K1, and K3 have already been bought.

Spoke with BIL#2 and SIL#2 (husband and wife team - youngest bro & his wife of Mr. Rum). Turns out that BIL#1 had given the exact same list to everyone in BIL#1's family and SIL#1's family.

Oi.

He did this to us last year. Everything we bought K1 and K3 were duplicates!

When I'm setting up Christmas lists, this is what I do:

Send a list to my mom & dad for what major things I would like bought for me & Child Rum. (This year, my parents are buying Child Rum a new Nintendo DS (the $129 - the basic model, not with all the doodads). I am getting a Nintendo DSi XL - I wanted the bigger screen). I knew that my PILs wouldn't spend $129 + $179 on handheld video game players for me & Child Rum. So that's why I asked my mom & dad to.

Also, I know BIL#2 and his wife love to buy online and so we had an amazon list for me & Child Rum (her items are listed on a Master List that also includes items for me).

My sister who is pregnant got the Toys 'R Us list.

My PILs got the Olivia list & the request to pay for a personal trainer for Mr. Rum. (I only wanted a gift card).

BIL#1 and his wife & family got the "Just give us gift cards" list 'cos I don't like their taste.

When talking to SIL#2, I found, she's like that too. She divides the gift list and hands it to certain people so they don't all get 47 pairs of pj's or whatever they have on their list.

Why can't BIL#1 and his wife figure this out?

I swear, next year, I'm just buying those Visa Gift Cards and being done with BIL#1 and his family before even buying stuff for everyone else!

[Boozy]

I've never understood wish lists. It completely destroys the point of giving, does it not?

If I'm going to spend X amount on gifts, and my family is going to spend X amount on me, and we just swap lists.... why the hell don't we just go out and do our own damn shopping for ourselves?

My family has fun finding little things for each other that the recipient would never have thought to buy for themselves. Sure, sometimes the gift is a "miss", but the "hits" are awesome, and the process is entertaining.

[gremcint]

I've put together a wishlist for my family but I do a giant one, seriously if you look up my amazon wishlist it's 120 items long, that way because I only get a couple items from each of them it leaves a certain amount of mystery to the whole thing.

[Cat]

I think my family should stop buying each other gifts all together. My mom has no taste....she buys things she wants me to dress in, hokey " daughters are special" hallmark crap, or just plain thoughtless gifts...just top spend $. I'd rather she spend the $$ on stuff her and Dad need...I just return or donate all my gifts.

I've gotten a few "hit" on her gifts, but one can oly buy so many angel statues and jewelry. This year, I got everyone DVDs and books. No sweet personal gifts, but they can use them.

I do like the list idea. Every year I want gift cards for grocery stores, I never get 'em.

[IDrinkaRum]

Cat - If I lived closer to you, I'd get you the gift cards.

I don't trust my mom's taste in clothing. She tries to dress me in colours that flatter her & my sister (both have brown hair/brown eyes/olive complexion) and they do not flatter me (I have brown hair/brown eyes/pasty white skin). She loves me in pastels! *shudders* Safer if I ask her to buy me one major present (last year, I got a record player-converter thingee; I can record my vinyl albums to cds). I know this year I'm getting the Nintendo DS I want. *shrugs*

I'd direct my parents & my PILs to my Amazon list, if they were computer savvy enough. My dad is, but my mom would get confused and keep calling me asking me why I'd want such-and-such? Saves on headaches. Trust me.

Mr. Rum gave me a list, but I went off the list and got him a single serve Keurig (for his office, 2 new travel mugs, and a box of K-cup Hazlenut flavored coffee). Besides other things.

Gift lists, are just easier, especially when you only have sporadic conatact with large portions of the family and even though you've been with their brother for 9 years, married for 8 years, they still don't "know" you.

[AdminAssistant]

The one thing I make sure to do is call my sister to see what I should get for the kids, just to make sure I don't get something that 'Santa' is bringing. Her MIL won't do that, and one year they had to scramble to get another Santa present for my neice because the MIL gave her a DS on Christmas eve...Santa was bringing her one that morning... I might ask Mom if she'd like something in particular, but other than that, I know my family, I know what they like. It helps that I don't do the buying for extended family.

When I get asked what I want each year, I almost always say gift cards or money. Things are nice, but I need to pay the rent and buy food, y'know? Mom now just takes me shopping; I get what I need/like, I know it fits, and we get to spend the day together.

Although...Christmas is totally effed this year, so I don't know what's happening.

[Eisa]

If my whole family was computer-savvy, I'd be tempted to do a wish list. Not so much because I want people to buy me exactly what I want, but because I know my friends and family get utterly clueless about what I want. And it's turning into, "Yes, I love penguins, but really...a TIN OF NUTS just because it has a penguin on it?!" [As I found out what my aunt is getting me for Christmas apparently... ] So a wish list would at least be able to kinda guide people to "ok this is the kind of stuff she likes."

[Mytical]

I get some odd gifts, but they have an excuse. I don't even know what I would want..how the heck could anybody else even guess? Also terrible at picking out gifts. I am not talking "oh this is ok..but.." I am talking "What the heck were you thinking!?" . Seriously..BAD. AT. PICKING. GIFTS.

So .. by all means if I am going to give a gift, send a list.

[Boozy]

Even if someone asks me for a list, they still don't get one. I tell them to donate to charity. If someone doesn't know me well enough to select a gift for me on their own, then they have no business buying me a gift. It's a waste of everyone's time and money, and both giver and recipient lose the "warm fuzzy". It becomes a business transaction.

I do agree with what AA said about kids. That's when you do need to share some information and perhaps a list. There's a small handful of very popular toys, movies, and games every season that everyone will want to buy for Junior, and you have to avoid overlap.

[ExRetailDrone]

I wish sometimes that people would have asked me for a list. I usually have no clue what I'm actually looking for, other than money to help with bills and things (yay being an adult ), but it would still have been better than some things I've received. Like when I was still dating my ex... we had been together for years, and yet one xmas his mom bought me this humungous makeup case. I haven't worn makeup since high school! And my ex and I did not know each other in high school. So, even though I had never worn makeup while we were together, his mom apparently thought that would be the perfect gift or something And they didn't have a lot of money, so it was basically a complete waste. I would have rather her keep that money and put it to good use for herself, but saying something like that would probably have caused her to get offended and defensive.

I don't get too many gifts from people anymore, now that I'm all grown up. My extended family on my mom's side has a tradition where the aunts and uncles will stop buying for their nieces and nephews once they turn 21. So for almost a decade I've only gotten gifts from my parents and grandparents, which is usually money or gift cards, and the traditional ornament that I get every year

[telecom_goddess]

I don't really get gifts much anymore so there is no one to give any kind of list to. I only buy for my kids so it's simple. I accept whatever they give if they give me anything at all.

[blas87]

I don't have a problem with lists for Christmas, because my family each makes their own and everyone keeps communication going so that we don't duplicate. And I'm known to deviate if I see something I know they'd like more. It's never as bad as like a bridal registry, where everything is super specific and demanded.

The past few Christmases have been more practical than luxurious, so we use lists for what we need, rather than just want. There is always something on everyone's list that is more of a want, but that's not a problem.

I have a much bigger problem with bridal registries and baby shower registries than Christmas lists.

[AdminAssistant]

Bridal registries are meant to keep the couple from getting duplicates, but so many people either don't check off the bought item off the registry or go off the registry that it's kinda pointless. IMO, most young couples need money far more than they need appliances and fine china.

[blas87]

The registery at Target was wrong, because my friend ended up getting two of the same thing.

I just bought them a bottle of wine that was made the year that they met. I thought that was more special than fancy dinnerware and stupid stuff for around the house. Her husband makes enough money for the both of them, they didn't need expensive gifts.

But that could be an entirely different thread. I spent so much money I didn't have to be in that wedding, then on top of that people want gifts as well, I don't think I'll ever be in a wedding again unless its my own.