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*Warning: Family Drama*
So, after years of alcoholism and mouthiness, and one incident that landed him with a misdemeanor, my father seems to have finally lost his gd mind. Yesterday, I called Mom and I could hear his ranting....over the affair Mom had nearly 15 years ago. (Yes, she had the affair, but she asked us kids for forgiveness and we gave it to her. It's Dad's go-to when he's pissed at her, though.)
At any rate, sometime after I hung up, he threatened to 'slit her fucking throat'. Well, at the first opportunity she had alone, she called a deputy sheriff who is also a family friend and knows the history. He came out with a local policeman and they talked to him...and he admitted, "Yeah, I was going to slit her throat." Soooooo.....long story short, he's in jail and is being charged with terroristic threatening, which is a felony. And, our biggest Christmas present this year is that he won't see a judge until January 4th, and he won't have the opportunity to post bond until then. That is, if he can get anybody to give him money, and Mom's already calling the people he'd ask and telling them to *please* not give him money. He's off his freakin' rocker, and there's no telling what he'd do. Even with an Order of Protection, he could still hurt her, or wait until she goes to work, break in, kill the dog and burn the house down, just for spite. (He's threatened that before.) He's an alcoholic who obviously has brain damage from it, and needs help. And if prison is a way he can get it, okay. If he doesn't want to, well, he can die there. I don't like to say that about my own father, but he's made my Mom's (and by proxy, my) life a living hell for years. Yes, her affair was hard to go through, but that's nothing compared to years of alcoholic rants and suicide threats.
There's a silver lining - he's definitely locked up until Jan. 4, so we can enjoy our holidays. I just talked to Mom, and she said, "You know, I actually feel like putting up a Christmas tree now." Mom's also finally going to divorce his ass. I'm going home next week, at Mom's insistence. I offered to go this weekend, but she wants me to enjoy my time with Fiance. Anyway, while I'm home I can help her get her valuables moved a separate safe deposit box, change the locks, etc. Need to sit down with Sis and see what we're going to do about the house, since we own it. I'd just as soon sell it and get Mom a place in town where she'll be closer to help if she needs it.
Soooo......yeah. I'm starting to feel okay, but I'm pissed. Pissed that he's not going to be at my wedding. Pissed that he won't see me graduate with my Ph.D. Pissed that my kids won't have a grandfather. Pissed that someone's going to have to explain to my niece and nephew why Papa isn't around anymore. Right now, I hate the fucker. One day I might be able to forgive him and not hate him anymore, but I hope that I never have to see or speak to him again.
ETA: Before anyone asks, she has a CC license and a 38 special that she keeps with her at pretty much all times. And every time she re-certifies, she's at the top of the class. So, she can protect herself to a certain extent.
So, after years of alcoholism and mouthiness, and one incident that landed him with a misdemeanor, my father seems to have finally lost his gd mind. Yesterday, I called Mom and I could hear his ranting....over the affair Mom had nearly 15 years ago. (Yes, she had the affair, but she asked us kids for forgiveness and we gave it to her. It's Dad's go-to when he's pissed at her, though.)
At any rate, sometime after I hung up, he threatened to 'slit her fucking throat'. Well, at the first opportunity she had alone, she called a deputy sheriff who is also a family friend and knows the history. He came out with a local policeman and they talked to him...and he admitted, "Yeah, I was going to slit her throat." Soooooo.....long story short, he's in jail and is being charged with terroristic threatening, which is a felony. And, our biggest Christmas present this year is that he won't see a judge until January 4th, and he won't have the opportunity to post bond until then. That is, if he can get anybody to give him money, and Mom's already calling the people he'd ask and telling them to *please* not give him money. He's off his freakin' rocker, and there's no telling what he'd do. Even with an Order of Protection, he could still hurt her, or wait until she goes to work, break in, kill the dog and burn the house down, just for spite. (He's threatened that before.) He's an alcoholic who obviously has brain damage from it, and needs help. And if prison is a way he can get it, okay. If he doesn't want to, well, he can die there. I don't like to say that about my own father, but he's made my Mom's (and by proxy, my) life a living hell for years. Yes, her affair was hard to go through, but that's nothing compared to years of alcoholic rants and suicide threats.
There's a silver lining - he's definitely locked up until Jan. 4, so we can enjoy our holidays. I just talked to Mom, and she said, "You know, I actually feel like putting up a Christmas tree now." Mom's also finally going to divorce his ass. I'm going home next week, at Mom's insistence. I offered to go this weekend, but she wants me to enjoy my time with Fiance. Anyway, while I'm home I can help her get her valuables moved a separate safe deposit box, change the locks, etc. Need to sit down with Sis and see what we're going to do about the house, since we own it. I'd just as soon sell it and get Mom a place in town where she'll be closer to help if she needs it.
Soooo......yeah. I'm starting to feel okay, but I'm pissed. Pissed that he's not going to be at my wedding. Pissed that he won't see me graduate with my Ph.D. Pissed that my kids won't have a grandfather. Pissed that someone's going to have to explain to my niece and nephew why Papa isn't around anymore. Right now, I hate the fucker. One day I might be able to forgive him and not hate him anymore, but I hope that I never have to see or speak to him again.
ETA: Before anyone asks, she has a CC license and a 38 special that she keeps with her at pretty much all times. And every time she re-certifies, she's at the top of the class. So, she can protect herself to a certain extent.
I'm just trying to get this out of my system as much as possible. I'm spending most of the afternoon with friends that are leaving town and I don't want to dump all this on them. :/
I hope the court date in January goes in your and your mom's favor.
Wow AA... I knew your dad was an alcoholic, but I had no idea it was that bad.
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