My Father

[AdminAssistant]

Thanks again. I got home a few hours ago (I really really hate Missouri drivers). They've set a temporary bond of an amount that he cannot pay. Mom is talking to a sheriff tomorrow about possibly setting up a 'no contact' thing. Oh, and one of my cousins (who is particularly close to Dad) is planning on visiting him on Christmas Day. Mom said that he wanted me to go with. I told her that would not happen. I am considering writing a letter.

We're all hoping that he'll get sent to a rehabilitation center. First of all, because he needs help. Secondly...he's 61. Prison's a rough place for anyone, much less an older man who needs 15 pills a day. As mad as I am right now, he's still my father and I don't want him dead.

[RootedPhoenix]

*hugs AA* Glad you made it home.

[AdminAssistant]

She seems to have cooled her heels on the divorce, but there is a no contact order. For whatever reason, she feels really guilty and is worried about him. :/ But the latest is that his bail has been greatly reduced and he might be out by Monday. My aunt was contacted by a bail bondsman, but she refused to bail him out. He's also said that he would go to a rehab facility. The family is trying to get him into a Christian-based one that's local, but I think it's an awful idea. First of all, he distrusts religion and flat out *hates* preachers. Second of all, I want him to get actual medical help, none of this "pray yourself clean" 12 step crap.

Blarggggg....... I get to go back to Kansas and a semi-normal life on Tuesday.

[blas87]

Hold on tight, Admin. You can do this.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that things work out. I agree it's best that he doesn't go to a religious based healing clinic.

[AdminAssistant]

AAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

What a fucking day.

Okay, he made bail *somehow* and called my sister griping about how everyone had turned their back on him, including her, and said that Mom lied to the police and blah blah blah. BIL got him and took him to the house, Mom and I left long before they got there and she packed up his crap so that he didn't need to go through the house. He has 7 days to check into a rehab and apparently he is in a motel somewhere.

But here's the real fun thing: Mom just sat me down and said that I needed to call him because he's still my Dad and he's probably worried about me. Well, too fucking bad, I've already made up my damn mind, and I am NOT speaking to him. If I tried to speak to him right now, I'd be too tempted to cut him out of my life forever.

[Peppergirl]

Oh no!

So much for him showing remorse.

Do you get the feeling your mom is waffling and might consider taking him back?

[AdminAssistant]

Do you get the feeling your mom is waffling and might consider taking him back?

Yep. She's still pestering me about calling him. Not. Happening. If he calls me, I *might* answer it.

[blas87]

I'm sorry this happened, Admin.

You and your mom stay safe, ok?

Hopefully you can talk some sense into your mom. I don't think a single one of us on here will fault you for not wanting to speak to him, you have our support.

[JustaCashier]

Hang in there, Admin.

Any contact between you and him has to come on your terms. Not his, not your Mom's, no matter how much you support her and want to protect her.

I hope this all works out the best way it can for you.

Mike

[AdminAssistant]

He did call me last night, and he isn't the least bit remorseful or sorry. He told me that "there's two sides to every story and there's a lot you don't know." And generally spoke to me like a little kid. He isn't the least bit sorry or remorseful...in fact, he didn't understand why I was upset at him. But he did say, "I don't feel hard at you." Urg. I wish he did.

[AdminAssistant]

Okay, major update.

Dad and I are back on speaking terms. He has admitted that he has a drinking problem and he's currently in an outpatient rehab program. He still lays too much on Mom's shoulders, but I don't think they'll be married much longer, tbh. They still have a no-contact order. Dad went to court earlier this week. Mom is trying to get the no-contact order dropped and told the judge that she just wanted to make sure he got help, she doesn't want to send him to jail. They are considering dropping some of the charges and the order.

Dad's still staying in hotel rooms. He tried to get in the housing projects, but because the 2002 *incident* was never expunged from his record he couldn't. So, Mom went and she is going to move there. It works out, because that will be cheaper for her and things will be easier for Dad at home. He's lived his entire life in that area. The local town is pretty small, so event the HUD housing should be alright, but I'm worried about Mom being out there.

There's a lot more, but that's the basics. They seem to be...civil to each other, and both have been pleasant with me. So, here's hoping....