Overreactions and I really don't care

[muses_nightmare]

I hate when people overreact to things before they even have the whole story, or before someone has a chance to say something about a subject. Why do people feel the need to freak out and make assumptions before any information, besides the initial thing that got them started, is known?

My mom is especially bad for this. She freaks right out about stuff before I can even finish a sentence sometimes. I'll be making a joke about something and she'll go off on how I should be doing this or that, or this means this and not that. (she did this when I was joking about how I don't really want to go to a "manly" gym). And a few minutes ago my cousin posted a status on FB that said that his parents won the lottery (not millions, but a decent amount.**), automatically she assumes that her sister doesn't want her to know about it and won't share and how she better share and so on, before we even know if it's actually true and not some weird thing my cousin did on FB, besides that it's 1am, so if it is true they may not have wanted to wake people up to tell them, my mom doesn't seem to think this is logical at all. *sigh* I do not understand this mode of thinking, I'm a pretty laid back person in general, she just isn't and I don't understand being that high strung all the time.

** On a side note, I need to start playing the lottery, this is the second immediate family member who has won (well potentially) a fairly substantial sum in the lottery.

As for the I don't care, well I don't get why people seem to assume that I care more about things than I actually do. Like where we go to eat if we're going for dinner, so long as it's not a seafood restaurant (pretty much everyone I know knows I don't eat seafood, if they don't I'll let them know). I had an acquaintance tell a mutual friend that he felt like he was dragging me around with him when we went shopping together, she had to tell him that he wasn't, I genuinely don't care where we go as long as I can be out and in the company of a friend. I know people are trying to be polite but after the 10th time of asking "are you sure you don't mind...." and me saying "yes it's good/works for me etc." it gets annoying. Just accept that I'm a laid back person who can generally get along with whatever anyone decides, if I don't agree I will actually say something, it just doesn't happen often.

[AdminAssistant]

To the second part - my Fiance is like that about restaurants and it is *really* annoying. I hate having to make all the decisions! If he could just give me a type of restaurant or maybe a short list, that would be something. But the next time I ask him where he wants to eat and he says, "I don't care," we're eating peanut butter sandwiches at home.

[blas87]

I posted once about how my bf called me and woke me up while I was sleeping because his family wanted to go out to eat and wanted an opinion of where to go (first of all, why ask me? Like my opinion really matters!), and every. single. place that I suggested, his dad in the background bitched about it.

Bf will once in a while voice his opinion of where he'd like to go, but most of the time we play the "I don't care, what do you want?" game, and when I tire of it, I say "Ok fine, Fazolis!" or "Ok, Olive Garden it is!" and he'll then whine about me only wanting to eat Italian. Well, speak up if you have an opinion.

What's worse is my family plays that stupid game with me as well.

I swear everyone just loves to fark with me.

[muses_nightmare]

Well I do make decisions about restaurants sometimes, but it's when someone keeps bugging me about "are you suuuureee you don't mind" it's aggravating. When there are only a couple of restaurants to decide from both of which I like, just pick one, and don't get all "well I don't know" if I just randomly say one of them if you wanted me to make the decision.

[Rageaholic]

I hate hate hate the "I really don't care" attitude because they DO care. They just don't want to admit it because that would make them look demanding. I run into the same problem when debating a restaurant choice. They say they don't care, yet when I bring up my suggestions, they don't act very thrilled. It's a game they play because they do have a preference, but they assume that everyone else is against it. So they play around until someone else mentions the place they really do have in mind. That way, they aren't alone.

You know, people are wierd. They assume that everyone is going to hate their suggestion, but for all they know, everyone else could be wanting the same thing. They're trying too hard to be nice and accomodating to everyone that they end up alienating them. It may come across as friendly and laid back, but it's really not. How do I know this? Cause I used to play the same games.

[muses_nightmare]

But I really don't care. I generally don't complain about where I'm going, unless like I said it's seafood, which I will let someone know about before the conversation even starts. I also wasn't just referring to restaurants, but like just walking around a mall, I like to do that with friends, and people who don't know me may think that they're dragging me around when I'm really just happy to be there, maybe I'm overly apathetic about things *shrugs* I can't really change that.

It's not a game to me, it's just the way I am. If I am opposed to something I'll speak up, but generally I'm agreeable about stuff, I just hate answering the question "are you sure..." repeatedly. The first time I answer I'll give a normal "sure that sounds great" answer, but every time after that I start to sound more annoyed because I am. Yes I'm a fairly quiet person, but I will tell you if I don't like something, or don't want to go somewhere, it just doesn't happen all that often.

[Rageaholic]

Oops!!! I read the post wrong. For some reason, I thought your annoyance was with deciding restaurants so I posted my annoyances with that. I don't think everyone who says they don't care has a hidden agenda, just the people I know do. I probably wouldn't have come across so judgmental if I had read the post. Epic fail on my part.

Anyway, yes, being asked "Are you sure" 50 times is pretty annoying. For me, it's what happens after those who play their games get their way. It's like they assume everyone else is miserable with their choice and feel guilty about it. Then again, that's my experience because a lot of people I know are either extremely picky or worried about offending someone else.

[BlaqueKatt]

I hate hate hate the "I really don't care" attitude because they DO care. <snip> How do I know this? Cause I used to play the same games.

um just because that was true for you does not make it automatically true for others. I personally don't care because "is it really going to matter in 100 years what I had for lunch today?", heck it won't even matter an hour from now, so why be concerned about it......I really don't concern myself much with things that in the grand scheme of things are quite trivial...

[blas87]

Some people really don't care and others do, but just want to see what you'll say.

That's my experience.

[Android Kaeli]

I use the 'I don't care' line because, honestly, I'm sick and tired of making suggestions of where to go/eat/whatever and people giving me the 'No, think of something else' line. So I say 'I don't really care' and leave it at that. It's not me dragging my feet/not caring, I just can't think of ideas that other people want to do without them shrugging their shoulders and deciding for themselves what to do.

[Andara Bledin]

My answer, because I do actually care but I rarely have a preference, is "I am generally ambivalent, what would you suggest?"

^-.-^