skewed priorities

[LexiaFira]

Had a frank discussion today with hubs...long story short and I made sure that he realized what he was saying before taking it to this level and that he was well aware of his priorities.

Apparently myself and his daughter and us being happy are his priorities. Fine and well as I try very much to make sure the house is clean and that daughter is raised well and loved and happy as well. He works, I don't so its only fair logically speaking.

If that is the case then why are his priorities coming home from work and immediately working on replacing the stuff on the old hard drive until its time to go to bed? INSTEAD of getting the two chores we agreed on that are his done and spending any time with his daughter? Why is that important since he KNOWS that by being patient we will have the time and funds to get the hard drive repaired and be able to gain what was lost?

And that if he cannot remember it, it doesn't get done. Funny how what you deem important is in the grand scheme not that important and can wait.
I admit I have been a big pain to everyone and am apologizing and working hard to make it right and keep up my end of the bargain as agreed and promised....

so...how is this more important than spending five minutes a day with your kid? I took this very personal. New year new me. I vowed in front of him that I will take it on myself to raise MY kid, and take care of myself and that as far as I knew its my priority to make sure he is happy and that its his money he can do whatever he wants with it as long as his bills are paid and there is food in the house. the rest is MY responsibility to get the house clean, work out and make sure MY KID is happy because its not important enough for him to acknowledge her.

Am I taking this too far? Probably...no, definitely. However this is the 6th time priorities/chores/asking for any help, how its my fault (and most of the time it kind of is due to my depression and how I have been acting lately) that i need to be more responsible discussion or argument has happened since we got married.

So now I am taking it all on myself knowing the cost, since someone has to keep the house clean, it must be me....and if i have forgotten anything of how i am wrong or its my fault let me know. yes i am hurting and no thats not sarcasm

[RootedPhoenix]

I...I can't believe what I'm hearing. Why is it all your fault that stuff doesn't get done? He agreed to those chores! He says his daughter is really important, so why is he not acting like it?

I am both puzzled and angry.

[LexiaFira]

Have been super depressed most of december thus because of that I made sure daughter got what she needed and maybe some play time and that I at least ate and did dishes and something but the rest got neglected. I would start laundry but never finish it in the same day. MAYBE three days later.
(IE it would sit in the dryer for days)
and worse i neglected myself so in a sense its partly my fault as after a while when the depression went away i got lazy.

However the way he said about the computer made me think that the computer was more important when it wasn't and that it bothered me as thats what my dad would do, work and everything else was more important than his kids and sometimes his wife to the point my step mother quit her high paying job to be the head secretary just so that she got some time with him at work...that made everything worse but ok....(another story but she was more controlling than he was)

today I actually got alot done, the house is almost spotless...what is a mess is the bathroom but thats from the steam...airing the bathroom out now (old house, bathroom not properly vented as the windows are to stay shut, old school windows where the frames are wooden)