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A martyr is someone who suffers silently and accepts consequences either because they refuse to renounce a belief or principle, or it can refer to someone who is in a constant state of pain and suffering.
I think the reason you are referred to so often as a "martyr" especially on fratching, is because, as I said, most of your "I hate" vents are referring to things and situations that many others find pleasurable, but which you seem to throw up your hands and accept as a source of pain and frustration.
You're correct that venting is your right as a member of fratching, but after a while, one starts to wonder about the frame of mind of someone who finds no joy in things that actually bring pleasure to others.
Normally, I don't really comment much on your vents unless I end up stepping in as a mod when these vents of yours stir up unpleasant feelings in others who don't quite get what your problem is, and in some cases, wish they had your problems.
I seriously wonder about someone who is finding nothing but disappointment on an almost daily basis. Not to lecture, but negativity breeds negativity.
Are you very clearly stating your sexual preferences to your partner?
If you are, and she is still doing her own thing, then maybe it's time you took a good long look at your relationship.
When I read through much of your venting, it seems to me that, aside from the vents directed at unappreciative and uncaring employers or insensitive friends, a lot of it is directed toward your partner.
There seems to be a great deal of selfishness on her part, and an almost complete disregard of your feelings, wishes, preferences, and desires in almost every area of your life.
You go on vacation, and you don't do a single thing that you want. It's always what she and the children want.
You have sex, and it becomes about what she wants, and not what you want.
Your wife knows your phobia of germs, but she still uses your toothbrush and then selfishly leaves it in a spot where it ends up falling on the floor of the bathtub.
You try to have some "me" time, and your partner suddenly starts making demands on your time, and allows the children to interrupt, rather than seeing how important it is for you to have that time and coping with things herself. Because you are a introvert who prefers to stay home, while she is an extrovert who needs time out to combat depression, her time away from the home seems more important than your need for occasional breaks within your home.
The list can and does go on.
You are using this site as a passive way of speaking to your partner and avoiding confrontation, rather than speaking up for yourself. You are hoping that she will check out your internet history and stumble across your venting, while you suffer in silence.
That's fine. Fratching is here for a reason, and this forum was created as a way to vent about things we hate. You just seem to hate much more than the average member. This forum does come with a warning, though, that your venting is subject to critique and debate, the same as any other area of the site.
Because you choose to make your posting "personal" it may seem as if you are being personally attacked for your vents.
As I said, my intent was not to be critical or insulting.
I seriously think you have a lot of issues that would benefit from some type of mental health counseling.
This may be a bit of armchair psychology, but I think you had a painful past that is causing you to find fault with life in general, and is not allowing you to enjoy your life to the fullest.
You seem to have very low self esteem that causes you to think that you really don't deserve better for yourself. It seems as if you feel that you don't have a right to speak up about what you want for yourself, so you just complain about everything and anything other than what's really bothering you. It gets to the point that you have earned a reputation for mindless whining. Your points become negated or ignored as a result.
I think you need to learn to find ways to be more assertive in what you want.
You need to speak up for yourself in a constructive way, being proactive to achieve what you want, and what makes you happy, rather than sitting behind a computer screen complaining about a world that is stacked against you, and hoping your partner comes across it and sees herself in your words.
martyr (mär'tər)
n.
1. One who chooses to suffer death rather than renounce religious principles.
2. One who makes great sacrifices or suffers much in order to further a belief, cause, or principle.
3. 1. One who endures great suffering: a martyr to arthritis.
2. One who makes a great show of suffering in order to arouse sympathy.
n.
1. One who chooses to suffer death rather than renounce religious principles.
2. One who makes great sacrifices or suffers much in order to further a belief, cause, or principle.
3. 1. One who endures great suffering: a martyr to arthritis.
2. One who makes a great show of suffering in order to arouse sympathy.
You're correct that venting is your right as a member of fratching, but after a while, one starts to wonder about the frame of mind of someone who finds no joy in things that actually bring pleasure to others.
Normally, I don't really comment much on your vents unless I end up stepping in as a mod when these vents of yours stir up unpleasant feelings in others who don't quite get what your problem is, and in some cases, wish they had your problems.
I seriously wonder about someone who is finding nothing but disappointment on an almost daily basis. Not to lecture, but negativity breeds negativity.
Are you very clearly stating your sexual preferences to your partner?
If you are, and she is still doing her own thing, then maybe it's time you took a good long look at your relationship.
When I read through much of your venting, it seems to me that, aside from the vents directed at unappreciative and uncaring employers or insensitive friends, a lot of it is directed toward your partner.
There seems to be a great deal of selfishness on her part, and an almost complete disregard of your feelings, wishes, preferences, and desires in almost every area of your life.
You go on vacation, and you don't do a single thing that you want. It's always what she and the children want.
You have sex, and it becomes about what she wants, and not what you want.
Your wife knows your phobia of germs, but she still uses your toothbrush and then selfishly leaves it in a spot where it ends up falling on the floor of the bathtub.
You try to have some "me" time, and your partner suddenly starts making demands on your time, and allows the children to interrupt, rather than seeing how important it is for you to have that time and coping with things herself. Because you are a introvert who prefers to stay home, while she is an extrovert who needs time out to combat depression, her time away from the home seems more important than your need for occasional breaks within your home.
The list can and does go on.
You are using this site as a passive way of speaking to your partner and avoiding confrontation, rather than speaking up for yourself. You are hoping that she will check out your internet history and stumble across your venting, while you suffer in silence.
That's fine. Fratching is here for a reason, and this forum was created as a way to vent about things we hate. You just seem to hate much more than the average member. This forum does come with a warning, though, that your venting is subject to critique and debate, the same as any other area of the site.
Because you choose to make your posting "personal" it may seem as if you are being personally attacked for your vents.
As I said, my intent was not to be critical or insulting.
I seriously think you have a lot of issues that would benefit from some type of mental health counseling.
This may be a bit of armchair psychology, but I think you had a painful past that is causing you to find fault with life in general, and is not allowing you to enjoy your life to the fullest.
You seem to have very low self esteem that causes you to think that you really don't deserve better for yourself. It seems as if you feel that you don't have a right to speak up about what you want for yourself, so you just complain about everything and anything other than what's really bothering you. It gets to the point that you have earned a reputation for mindless whining. Your points become negated or ignored as a result.
I think you need to learn to find ways to be more assertive in what you want.
You need to speak up for yourself in a constructive way, being proactive to achieve what you want, and what makes you happy, rather than sitting behind a computer screen complaining about a world that is stacked against you, and hoping your partner comes across it and sees herself in your words.
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