Selective Insulting

[blas87]

Or, more simply put: When someone (can be anyone from a family member to a friend to an S/O to a coworker to a boss, whoever) can insult someone else or say whatever they want about someone else, but you can't, in fact, you get lashed at for insulting or making comments about the same person. Bonus points if that person says "Only I can say mean things about my brother!" or "You can't say things like that because you don't know him!"

My bf constantly whines about his brother, and I feel for him. I do. The guy is the biggest nutcase I've honestly ever seen in my entire life. But whenever I say something like "So how is the cancer patient doing?" (it's a not-so-nice term I coined for him because he treats his Lyme disease as if it's terminal cancer and uses it as a crutch to never have to do anything and always get his own way in the house)......and bf will snarl at me "You know what? YOU have no idea what it's like to be him and be that messed up! You can't say anything about him!"

But as soon as there is another incident at the house with his brother, who is on the phone with me, bitching away for 20 minutes straight about his "psychopath" "paranoid schizo" brother?

As hard as it may be to believe, I don't always openly insult people or go out of my way to be rude and call names, I just hate how some people think that only they are allowed to make rude comments or make insults towards others, and other people aren't. I can understand not being a part of the family or always subjected to certain things, but yegads, be consistent. Seriously.

[DrFaroohk]

lol are you my twin?

Kinda like how some people can use a certain word, because its' "ok" but not other people, all depending on the color of your skin. The word is either offensive or it's not.

I see it a lot on message boards too. Sometimes I'll post something personal, to which someone says (basically) "You suck, you're wrong, here's all the reasons why." If I respond even the slightest bit unfavorable, I'm told that because I'm posting on a public forum, I have to welcome the criticism. Ok, that's fine, but isn't the person who responded to me also posting on a public forum and subject to the same criticism? Apparently not.

My personal belief - an insult is an insult. No insult is worse than another, and no one has more right to insult than someone else.

[Andara Bledin]

Tribalism - Don't try to act like a member of a tribe if you're not; it will only end in tears.

My brother and I fought like rabid weasels as kids, but the moment an outsider stepped in, we were family. And it works on all levels. Coworkers can bitch about their workplace, but people who don't work there haven't 'earned the right,' or what have you.

I've never really subscribed to that way of thinking, myself, but it's very common.

^-.-^

[BlaqueKatt]

I commented on one of my friend's posts on FB and got told by someone else to "STFU and die in a fire", a few others got the fun of informing said person that a guy I grew up with who was pretty much like a brother(I spent every summer on his parents farm because my parents were dirt poor, and they gave me food in exchange for farmwork-I honestly didn't mine), died last year....in a fire...he was a fireman. I hate that insult, with a passion.

[blas87]

That makes sense, Andara, but it just seems so hypocritical to freely be able to insult someone just because they are your family, but immediately jump to protective family member status when an "outsider" makes a comment about someone you're related to. And the coworker/manager situation as well.

It's just not fair and it shows that people can be so two-sided.

[Greenday]

One of my friends would get mad when I'd suggest that the guy she was hanging out with a douche (He was. He had dated one of my friends freshman year and took advantage of another.) and a jerk. And I based this off how he treated her like crap according to what she would tell me. But then she'd get all offended that I was ripping on one of her friends.

[Boozy]

I can refer to my sister as a bitch because I love her. I don't really mean it, I'm just angry.

Besides, when someone on the "outside" attacks someone inside my group of loved ones, pack mentality takes over. I'm going to protect my own, regardless of what is going on inside the group.

[DrFaroohk]

Reminds of me of in high school this older kid kept bugging me for some reason in math class. Constantly calling me fat, stupid, making fun of my ticks, and no one cared. Finally one day I pointed out that as he's 19 years old taking freshman classes, he's in no position to be calling anyone stupid. Oh, but THAT crossed a line. Everyone was all looking at me like "oh noes how could you say such awful things!?"

Ok, so I think we can all admit to a little pack mentality. I'd probably do it too if someone started bitching about how unruly my kids are or something, even though I do it too. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's ok. We're all just hypocritical I guess.

[blas87]

One thing that really bugged me about my old department at work was that the dickhead shift lead, Ramsay, was so beloved by many, but hated by a few that those people always clashed. Yet, when the night came that he (as always) brought his personal problems to work and lashed out on one of his fanboys/girls, they'd whine about how terrible he treated them, but if you ever complained about him, they'd gasp and say "He's the BEST shift lead we have and you cannot say such things about him!"

[Tanasi]

We southern folk have a reamidy for this. Always preface any insult with "Bless his/her heart." You just blessed their heart therefore their defender can't get angry as it's a rule. For example "Bless Nancy Polosi's heart, she was done educated way beyond her intelligence." Of course using Southern dialect helps. One can really loose some zingers and not get introuble for it.

[Boozy]

Recovering Kinkoid introduced me to the double-edged Southern phrase "Bless his heart", and I fell in love with it.

I use it all the time now, and it's even better to use it in Canada - because no one knows what you're really implying.

[AdminAssistant]

Why, bless y'alls hearts...

[Greenday]

We southern folk have a reamidy for this. Always preface any insult with "Bless his/her heart." You just blessed their heart therefore their defender can't get angry as it's a rule. For example "Bless Nancy Polosi's heart, she was done educated way beyond her intelligence." Of course using Southern dialect helps. One can really loose some zingers and not get introuble for it.

It just sounds so stupid, we just figure there's no point in arguing how stupid someone is for making a terrible insult because it won't get through their brain.

[the_std]

It just sounds so stupid, we just figure there's no point in arguing how stupid someone is for making a terrible insult because it won't get through their brain.

Just because it's different from the way you talk, it isn't worth the effort to parse?

I'm from Canada, and even I can understand those sentences no problem. In the US, where you have more exposure to southerners, I would hope you make the effort to understand the way people talk in your country.

[blas87]

People say "bless his/her heart" around here sometimes, so it's not all southern.

I don't say it because if I'm going to say something rude, I'd rather be thought of a bitch for it and not try to preface it by saying something endearing.