That's so gay....

[linguist]

Those who claim that the phrase isn't offensive because it's not being directed at a person or group are only compounding the problem; not only are they still using an offensive phrase, by trying to justify it so (that is, by taking an identifier used by a particular person or group and then applying it in a derogatory fashion to an abstract or non-human entity) they are in effect dehumanizing that person or group of people, in this case gay people.

Linguistic depersonalization has long been a favorite weapon in the arsenal of bullies and bigots, and it's sad that it's become so pervasive in our society that people do it without even realizing it, then try to justify it when it's pointed out to them, as if that somehow makes it okay.

[Andara Bledin]

Well said, Linguist.

^-.-^

[Ladeeda]

Because it does

Yeah, that's not an answer. Never worked in grade school.

[muses_nightmare]

Uh There was more to my post than that, if you actually read any further.

[Eisa]

Those who claim that the phrase isn't offensive because it's not being directed at a person or group are only compounding the problem; not only are they still using an offensive phrase, by trying to justify it so (that is, by taking an identifier used by a particular person or group and then applying it in a derogatory fashion to an abstract or non-human entity) they are in effect dehumanizing that person or group of people, in this case gay people.

Linguistic depersonalization has long been a favorite weapon in the arsenal of bullies and bigots, and it's sad that it's become so pervasive in our society that people do it without even realizing it, then try to justify it when it's pointed out to them, as if that somehow makes it okay.

Very, very, very much agree with all of that.

[muses_nightmare]

My point about the whole thing is that it's not as huge an issue as people make it out to be. I think people are making mountains out of molehills about this.

There are certain phrases or words that offend me but I don't expect people to stop saying them on my behalf, I get over it if they aren't directed at me or at another person.

[linguist]

My point about the whole thing is that it's not as huge an issue as people make it out to be. I think people are making mountains out of molehills about this.

There are certain phrases or words that offend me but I don't expect people to stop saying them on my behalf, I get over it if they aren't directed at me or at another person.

And this is exactly the sort of complacent attitude that allows insidious bigotry to spread.

[muses_nightmare]

Right, because I don't care if someone says one phrase I'm a Bigot or I support them? That's not offensive at all.

Frankly, I have far more important issues to worry about than one phrase, one that is actually dying out (around where I live anyway), whether or not I care about it or not.

Besides all this, how exactly are you planning on stopping people from saying it? If you aren't doing anything aren't you just contributing to the "problem" or being complacent about it? Aside from this internet debate what are you doing?

[Andara Bledin]

Right, because I don't care if someone says one phrase I'm a Bigot or I support them? That's not offensive at all.

Even if you weren't supporting them, this sort of casual acceptance stands in the way of actual social progress.

Whether you want to be or not, you are setting an example for everyone that you come in contact with.

As for what I am doing about it, I make a point of telling people when they say things that aren't cool. As an example, I and my boyfriend run the video gaming room at a local convention. Rather than let the kids spout whatever garbage they're copying from the brain-dead sheeple they game against on XBox Live, we make them think about what they're saying and why it's not cool.

Now if only their parents could be bothered to care that much. >_<

^-.-^

[muses_nightmare]

1) I've stated before that I don't actually say that phrase anymore, I used to, but even then it wasn't terribly common. I tend to make up words or phrases rather than say what everyone else says.

2) Do you really think telling random strangers that you don't think what they're saying is "cool" or what have you is going to change the way people talk? Honestly?

3) You are assuming that I'm setting a bad example, frankly, I find that rather presumptuous and offensive. You don't know what I'm like in every day life, don't presume you do please. My apathy towards the phrase really isn't something that affects my everyday life as I have pretty much stopped hearing the phrase being used in daily life, even by the younger generation. Isn't that what you want? I simply don't think of it as much as you do, I have other things on my mind that are more important.

[Gravekeeper]

2) Do you really think telling random strangers that you don't think what they're saying is "cool" or what have you is going to change the way people talk? Honestly?

You'd be surprised. A lot of people ( especially the youngins ) mouth it off because they think its acceptable. It can really throw them off when they run into someone that calls them out on it. I've always made a point of doing it in online gaming. Its especially effective in a game with an older player base because you can usually get other people to step in and say likewise once you set the example first. Once junior sees all the grown ups aren't going to put up with the shit anymore he'll either go quiet or have a little ragequit fest anyhow. Either way, problem dealt with ;p

[Andara Bledin]

Do you really think telling random strangers that you don't think what they're saying is "cool" or what have you is going to change the way people talk? Honestly?

Hey, telling random strangers not to litter has worked. Stranger things have happened. Other than on the Internet, I don't tend to tell even semi-random strangers to think about what they say actual means.

You are assuming that I'm setting a bad example, frankly, I find that rather presumptuous and offensive.

I'm speaking only of the things you've said in this thread. Unless you don't actually believe what you've written.

And by your decision to not inform other people that you find their words offensive, you are quietly condoning their actions, however passively.

^-.-^

[muses_nightmare]

And by your decision to not inform other people that you find their words offensive, you are quietly condoning their actions, however passively.

I try to avoid talking to strangers in general. I'm not going to stop some random stranger because I don't like what I overheard them say, besides which, when I'm out and about I have headphones on almost all the time, so I don't have to listen to other people's conversations, I don't listen for these things, and I don't generally hear them anyway. I'm not condoning anything, I just choose what I'm going to get angry about, and a random strangers exclamation of some phrase is not high on my list. You can say I'm condoning all you want, but I know how I feel (or rather don't feel) about these things. I'm not really saying it's right or wrong to say them, just that it doesn't really matter, and even without my participation it's being used less and less. I simply don't care enough about this particular issue to bother with it any further than I have here, it's simply an annoyance to hear some condescending person tell someone else that what they're saying is wrong or bad in some way, even if they didn't actually mean to say it the way they did.

[Greenday]

And by your decision to not inform other people that you find their words offensive, you are quietly condoning their actions, however passively.

This. Just because you aren't actively okaying it doesn't change the fact that you are passively okaying it. Neither is acceptable.

[muses_nightmare]

So every last one of you will stop a random stranger on the street if they happen to utter something that you deem offensive? Even if that stranger could become violent or any number of other things?

I'm genuinely curious.

I personally am not willing to put myself in a confrontational situation because of an offhand comment. Is that really so wrong?