Respect is earned BS.

[Plaidman]

I hate that line so freaking much. The "Got to earn my respect". When people say this, it's usually, in my experence, by people that want to treat everyone like shit while at the same time demanding people do inane things or ass kiss til they get tired of it before they give any kind of respect towards them.

I give out respect like it's going out of style. It's easy to lose it though, by being a jackass to me, and I'd be hesitete to give it back.

But the people behind the "Gotta earn my respect" bandwagon, are typically people that treat everyone like shit "because they aint earn it yet! They gotta kiss my ass first!".

Seems to be going in to the whole, "What's in it for me" to be giving respect.

Thankfully the whole world isn't like that, or the planet be dead since no-one would give respect to anyone.

[Hyena Dandy]

For me, I start with a pretty big pool of respect for people. They don't have to earn my respect. They can lose it, and they can get more, but I will always treat someone I've never met like a neighbor. We all share this planet, so we're all neighbors, whether we live next door or next country.

I've found a good guideline to be that you treat everyone as if you'll have to see them again soon.

[Rageaholic]

Yeah, I hate those type of people. They think they're so important that "earning their respect" is such a gift. What they're really doing is treating people like crap all the time so when they say something nice to someone, it's a big deal.

I've known a few people like that. I started to think they changed from their asshole self. In reality, they just weren't being as much as an asshole as they were before (occasionally doing a nice thing every now and then). The only reason the nice things are noticable is because they are so rare from the usual assholery.

[Stormraven]

Eh. I'm one, kind of.

I treat everyone I meet with a polite neutrality. Their actions earn any change from that, for good or bad.

But I've also said it directly to someone - with regards to a family member that person thought that I had to respect, based on nothing more than the fact that we were related. Blood relationship is no guarantee of respect from me, anymore than anything else will grant automatic respect.

[Plaidman]

Eh. I'm one, kind of.

I treat everyone I meet with a polite neutrality. Their actions earn any change from that, for good or bad.

But I've also said it directly to someone - with regards to a family member that person thought that I had to respect, based on nothing more than the fact that we were related. Blood relationship is no guarantee of respect from me, anymore than anything else will grant automatic respect.

So then, let me ask then, how much asskissing do people have to do before you respect them? Why are they required to give you respect before you deign them worthy of any respect?

[Ginger Tea]

So then, let me ask then, how much asskissing do people have to do before you respect them? Why are they required to give you respect before you deign them worthy of any respect?

From what was typed about nutural respect, everyone from god down to the devil and all humans inbetween are on an even keel, its up to others to not look like a tool and be looked down on by others, not about how far up the arse the toungue goes.

I tend to not use the word respect, but go via a similar sliding scale of how I should treat you based on how you present yourself, I will talk to the pope in the same way as I would talk to my boss which is also the same way I would talk to a Big Issue vendor I happen to buy a copy from, IE the same, none of this I must treat you better as you are superior to me in the corporate ladder, the end of the day the pope your boss and that homeless guy selling a magazine are all humans just as you are.
If my boss is an arse hes still my superior and I have to work for him, but hes on a lower level than the guy I had a great conversation with on a street corner.

As I don't use the word respect in my sliding scale, I work on how well someone I'm working with works for the whole. Last evening we had to leave alot of product on racks as they could not fit on the shelves yet one employee kept on moving a few racks I put out of all of our way back into everyone's way, just so he could have more space to set up his milk.
I myself had a wall of stuff infront of where I would be setting up my drops and these extra ones smaked of his selfishness, so he was being a selfish prat, I decided fuckyoujimbo and buried all remaining stock behind my drops. Alot of people I work with are like this, they set up the milk and nothing else, taking up floor space that otherwise would be clear and robbing the drivers of wheels in which to unload from and drivers have hinted that with no wheels nothing will be unloaded, so one day this could back fire on them when we run out of packing crates and have to empty 5 vans ourselves.*

In short (too late)
Him, leaving those racks where they were, would have kept him on an even keel, instead it reinforced my view of him as an "im alright jack"

edit:
*I had to do just that this week, but we were not short on wheels, this was the first driver back and we had no packing trays in which to start with, I don't know if it was more of a case that the driver was in a rush and forgot to empty the van, at first I thought he had worked through break and was taking it, or had a driver meeting, then I find hes gone and the van is full, if we didn't need them, he or the next driver to use the van would still find them inside the next morning and that has happened before, reslulting in the main boss asking why there is so much crap in the loading bay.

[Boozy]

I think some people are just confusing the word "respect" with "like".

Respect shouldn't be earned, it should be given freely by any person who considers themselves to be reasonable and polite. It's really more about how you behave towards others than how you feel about them.

Besides, you should maintain a basic level of esteem for a person based on their shared humanity with you. You might not like them, and you might not agree with everything they do or say. Does everyone in the world like you and agree with everything YOU do? Of course not. It doesn't mean you aren't entitled to be treated with kindness and courtesy.

[DrFaroohk]

I find people confuse "respect" with "worship me and obey my every command". they are too different things. there's also a difference between "respect" and "common courtesy and politeness".

I have to be nice to my boss. Polite. Cordial. I have to do what my boss tells me. I have to obey his commands. But I do not have to respect him.

[Ghel]

It looks to me like we're actually talking about 3 different things: "respect," "like," and "courtesy." For "respect," I have a similar scale to Ginger Tea's. Everybody starts off even, then moves up or down the scale as I observe their behavior (not just towards me, but towards all people). For "like," I can respect someone but not like them, and vice versa. Now, courtesy is something that I (usually) give to all people, even if I don't like or respect them.

[Stormraven]

Ginger Tea had it right. Everyone starts out at a base level of 'human'. I grant that base level of respect to every person, and at that level, they get the simple courtesy of polite neutrality.

If they act, do or otherwise show me that they're worthy of greater respect (and no, that doesn't mean I have to like them - I respect a great many people I detest) then they gain that respect, and a concomitant increase in courtesy, though it will remain polite, not warm or friendly unless I actually like the person as well.

If they act, do or otherwise show me that they're not worthy of being considered 'human', they lose that respect, and the neutral courtesy slides into the no longer polite area.

Friendship is, by and large, a separate thing - I've been friends with people I didn't entirely respect (though at a point on that scale, friendship does go away) and I've disliked people I respected.

A good example of someone I do - or would - personally dislike but respect is Evita Peron. I doubt if I met her I'd want to do more than chuck her into a deep, dark cell. But, knowing where she came from, what she faced growing up and rising to power, I respect her ability. She was intelligent, ambitious and driven - but probably not very pleasant.

[Racket_Man]

Eh. I'm one, kind of.

I treat everyone I meet with a polite neutrality. Their actions earn any change from that, for good or bad.

But I've also said it directly to someone - with regards to a family member that person thought that I had to respect, based on nothing more than the fact that we were related. Blood relationship is no guarantee of respect from me, anymore than anything else will grant automatic respect.

So then, let me ask then, how much asskissing do people have to do before you respect them? Why are they required to give you respect before you deign them worthy of any respect?

from my "job" perspective ie. a "fast food place" where employees and management go through a revolving door I tend to follow what Stormraven wrote. from my point of view "repsect" and trust ARE earned. this means getting down in the trenches, doing your job, helping out when needed, doing extra when necessary, watching your back, giving good construtive feedback, etc.

YES repsect is earned not by asskissing but by actions and words.

if co-worker or manager just stands there and screams at me for no real good reason -- NO repect is earned

If a co-worker or manager slacks off and refuses to help in the middle of a "chrsis" - NO respect earned

a "high and mighty" attidute by either - NO respect earned

managers espeically need to earn respect. just because they have a title and a neat little badge (or a nice office). just becasue you have the title does NOT entitle one to act like an ass and play "ME Manager you peon bow down before me and my awesomeness" show me what you CAN DO not what your title entitles you to. title are meaningless if you can not walk the walk AND talk the talk.

in my personal life the same principles apply -- treat me as a fellow human with diginity, no pulling underhanded stuff, no lying, no mooching, pay what you owe (money and favors)

[Mytical]

If you think somebody gains respect by kissing somebody's behind..you are doing it wrong. Somebody tries kissing up to me, they lose respect, not gain it. Respect is earned. I can be polite to you without respecting you, that is a whole different thing.

Now I do believe that one has to give respect in order to get respect, but that is just me. They don't have to respect me, as I have to earn respect, but if they do not respect anybody..I will not respect them. Simple as that.

[Evandril]

My respect has to be earned...I will *treat* almost everyone with respect, but to get me to value your opinion, or go above and beyond for you, you've got to prove to me you deserve it. Asskissing and the like? I'll try and avoid you as much as I can. Sticking up for those around you, and helping as you can? THAT will get my respect, and I'll do the same for you. Spout off popular opinions without a thought, and refuse to acknowledge facts? Yeah, I'll treat anything you say with suspicion, to say the least... Show me that you care more about what IS right than being right? THEN I will listen to you, and accept what you say.

Does that mean that I won't help an asskissing idiot? No, my own self-respect demands I help where I can, and I'm not going to lessen myself to be 'rightous'

[Andara Bledin]

I can be polite to you without respecting you, that is a whole different thing.

This is something that I think gets lost the the "respect" issue.

A lot of people think that because someone is unworthy of being respected that means that it's ok to act like a douchebag to them, and that's just not right.

Some else being a douchebag is not an excuse to sink to their level.

^-.-^

[Mytical]

I agree, you don't treat people like dirt because you don't respect them. Treat people BETTER then you yourself want to be treated