Respect is earned BS.

[Hyena Dandy]

Which reminds me of an amusing comic.

"I knew a man who always treated people the way he wanted to be treated, and never understood why no-one liked him. Haven't seen him in a while. I wonder how old Bob the Masochist is doing..."

[aurelemsrealm]

I think polite neutrality accurately describes me as well. I firmly believe in the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you want them to do unto you." So, I start out treating people as I want them to treat me. Then, I observe their behavior toward me, and react accordingly. To a lesser extent, I consider how people I encounter treat others as I form opinions about people I encounter. So, yes, in that regard, if you want my respect, you have to show me respect.

No, I certainly don't expect anyone to bow down to me or cater to my every whim. However, I'm also not going to be anyone's doormat because they have some silly notion of superiority over me.

As others on the board have pointed out, I'm instantly inclined to distrust people who seem eager to suck up to me. For some reason, extreme pleasers make me bristle as much as the people I've already written off as obnoxious assholes and dumbassed morons.

[Racket_Man]

To a lesser extent, I consider how people I encounter treat others as I form opinions about people I encounter.

quoted for truth. great dating advice too.

you may treat ME with respect but crap on others - NO repsect from me

[crashhelmet]

There are two kinds of respect. Earned Respect and Deserved Respect.

Deserved Respect is what we are supposed to give everyone as a "Civil Society." Deserved respect is also what we give to our co-workers and superiors in the jobs we do, while we do the job. Deserved respect is what we should give our political figures, no matter how much you disagree with them. Deserved Respect is for their title or position. Deserved Respect is the handshake or high fives given between two teams at the end of a game, no matter how much they may hate each other.

Earned Respect is different. Earned Respect is saying "OK. This guy isn't some idiot. He knows what he's doing. He's alright. He's part of the team." Much like Deserved Respect, I don't have to be friends with my co-workers, but with Earned Respect I'll go out of my way to help them with a project or swap shifts with them if they need it. Earned respect is the difference between something like teasing being perceived as a joke or looking like an asshole.

I have 2 guys on my team that are incredibly lazy. One of them compounds it by thinking and acting like he's better than everyone else. They have my Deserved Respect as co-workers and fellow human beings, but not my Earned Respect. Even if I have nothing planned, I won't switch a shift for their benefit. I'll let them shoot themselves in the foot rather than jump in and bail them out.

[Ghel]

I prefer a different formulation of the Golden Rule, sometimes called the Platinum Rule or the Silver Rule: "Do not do unto other what you would not have them do unto you." It's much less invasive, and avoids the "masochism" angle.

[aurelemsrealm]

I prefer a different formulation of the Golden Rule, sometimes called the Platinum Rule or the Silver Rule: "Do not do unto other what you would not have them do unto you." It's much less invasive, and avoids the "masochism" angle.

Okay, I'm a little confused by the "masochism" angle. I get the rest of what you said, though. The only thing I can think is that a reference was made earlier in the thread to a joke about Bob the masochist. I'm too lazy to look it up at the moment. That bit of confusion aside, I could easily agree with you.

[blas87]

There's a different kind of "respect" where I work......when you are new, of course people will have to warm up to you and learn to trust you (I'm nice to everyone who is nice to me because I know what it's like to not feel welcome and I don't want others to feel that way). And to an extent, that's ok.

What I hate, and I mean hate, are the people who have been there since the factory first opened, and they absolutely refuse to trust or listen to anyone until they've been around long enough to "trust" them. I've worked there for almost 5 years, in my current area for 1 1/2 years, and my lead still refuses to listen to a thing I say and ALWAYS second guesses me. She never believes me, she always thinks I probably missed or forgot something, etc. She can be even worse with brand new people, like temps. She's the one who hovers and "baby talks" me.

She's not the only one. There are so many old-timers there that you have to "prove" yourself to, and it's not even worth it. Why even try when that person has treated you like such a moron, only to start respecting and trusting you once you establish some tenure?