Flakes

[Depot Denizen]

A few months ago I started trying to hang out with a college friend of mine, to see if we might be able to hit if off. I know she's been busy with stuff, but it's gotten to the point where she doesn't even respond to messages. I started hanging out with her (and by that, I mean 'to out for tea' and 'have a social dinner') because we work the same shift (graveyard) and she's overall a fun person. She's prone to forget things and procrastinates until the last minute, so she's usually busy because she forgets she has to get X done before Y day. I want to be her friend, but hell, if she doesn't even have the time to reply back, why bother?

[LadyBarbossa]

Gah, it happened again! Same person from the OP, plus my nephew. Invited friend and his brother along to the beach this weekend and he said they wanted to come. I confirmed with him YESTERDAY. Nephew found out I was going and begged me to take him, too. So I get up early this morning and I'm getting.g ready. . . no nephew. I finally knocked on his bedroom door to ask what was going on and all I get is."I'm not feeling good". That's it. So then I figure I'd better check with friend to see if he was still coming and he said no, he had stuff to do today, maybe next time. The "stuff" being the same stuff he told me he would be doing Saturday, hence the reason I was going to go today instead, because today worked better for him. Why keep saying you're coming if you're not?! And why, WHY is getting a half asset cancellation from these assholes always my responsibility? Is it that hard to call or text? Is it THAT hard to be bothered to get out of your damn bed to talk to some one in the next room?! Shit, if I hadn't asked, I would have driven all the way to town and showed up at this shit's door only to feel like an idiot when he bailed on me.

Fuck people. I think I'll just start going places alone so I don't ha e to be disappointed with finicky, flaky assholes anymore. And everyone wonders why I hate my own species.

[Imprl59]

It depnds on the scenario to me...

If you say to me "Hey we're all going to Joes tonight if you want to come." I won't feel guilty if I said I was coming but end up doing something else.

If you say to me " Hey do you want to go to Joe's with me tonight" and I don't show up then I'm an asshole.

I would definatley be ticked at the nephew and friend for doing that to you. It depends on how you asked the other guy though I must say that if someone I was interested in asked me to go somewhere with them I would damn sure they knew the minute I knew I couldn't make it. If he knows you are interested and is acting like this I would say he's not interested and just doesnt want to say it.

[LadyBarbossa]

Believe me, I had an epiphany of sorts when it comes to him a few months ago and had almost completely removed him from both my life and my mind, but then I guess he remembered I exist so HE asked me out and even paid. I never do this to him when he asks, but when I do, he's sure pulling this last minute backing out shit. And the fact nephew pretty much invited himself, begged me to take him, and then didn't even have the decency to stick his head out of his room to tell me he's not coming was, to me, inexcusable. He's 19, he's not a child. And the only thing 'wrong'and with him is that his nose is the slightest bit stuffy. He "just didn't feel like getting out of bed to tell me". His words, I promise you. Friend had agreed yesterday on a time and place for me to meet him and pick himup up and everything. I'm so pissed at them both.

Next time I'll just go to the beach by my own damn self.

[jackfaire]

All I can say is that personally I sometimes back out of things I said I would be at but I always let the people know I can't show up and usually it's because money ran tight and whatever it is everyone wants to do costs money.

[Ginger Tea]

This is a cut and paste of an IM convo with Captain Dickhead yesterday evening around 7pm and about 11am this morning, I'll try and trim off the chaff.

Him: what are you up to this evening?
Him: fancy going to kambar? [1]
Me: not really
Me: gone off the idea of tuesday kambar [2]
Him: oh right i'm not working so i thought it could be fun
Him: want to go anywhere else instad?
Me: dunno not thought about it
Him: i'm around now so i can set off in 5 minutes
Him: so do you want to go?
Him: could pick you up
Me: ill think about it
Me: not dressed either way
Me: plus i would need to go to bank for dosh
Him: when will you know by?
Me: dont really fancy going out at all this week tbh
Me: maybe friday/saturday assuming I dont get called in [3]
Him: oh ok
Him: so not tonight then
Him: i'm leaving now so let me know. am i picking you up or meeting you?
Me: if i do go out it will be meeting you
Him: what time?
Me: well seeing as i havnt decided yet, i cant answer that
Him: ok. might see you later then

So I assume he goes out somewhere for the night, perhaps the Kambar in the end after all so I ask him the next day (today) when I see he's online

Me: so where did you get to in the end?
Me: me i watched soylent green and that was about it
Him: nowhere i was waiting for you

So I repeat some of the conversation, my meh about going out and him saying he was heading off, he signed out a few seconds after I called him out on this.

So he wanted to go out, but because I didn't he wouldn't, he was all set for driving to my house and waiting for however long for me to get ready on the off chance I changed my mind about going out, the last time he did this to me (not the last time he picked me up, but the last time he just pulled up on the off chance I wanted to go out) I made him wait.

The day before hand he sugested a speed dating event that night, but it required online booking, which would involve me having to faff registering with this site and then finding out there is a cut off time that I would have missed as it was 2 hours away.
Turns out the event was canceled and needed £20 up front, so even if it wasnt short notice and not something I was keen on, the fee totally turned against it.
I told him if he gave me prior warning not 2 or 3 hours before the events start and it not costing me £20, I might have gone for moral support, but with him its always spur of the moment kind of things.

I even send him texts with my rota so he knows which days I am due to finish late, especially those 7-8pm finishes followed by 6am starts as being "dont bother" days, yet he still chooses the most inconvienint times.
He however has 3 different jobs and I have no idea what his start/finish times are as he never bothers to tell me and the times I have agreed to meet up with him, I find out he finishes at 10 and I've been sat like billy no mates waiting for him since 8 as he gives the impression he finishes soon when he calls.

[1] a niche market nightclub catering for rock/goth and indie music open tue/fri/sat
[2] the Tuesdays used to alternate between goth and metal, now just metal as the goth night has moved to another venue and another night and I rarely had a Wednesday off that coincided with the goth ngiht so after a few months of my then new job's rota not being able to go I stopped thinking of going even when I did have the next day off.
[3] due to a cock up, the annual leave I booked to help my brother move in September had been miss entered into October, but the rota is OK barring no shows and I had leave to use up, I am off till Wednesday next week, barring getting called in, which I said was OK as TBH I wasn't expecting to be off and would rather be working, worked 3 of the days so far, but it looks clear for now, so I'm sleeping my week away.