Assuming the worst

[DrFaroohk]

There's a certain mentality among the species occupying this planet that I would like to expose for the CRAP it is, and hopefully change it.

It's the "assume the worst" mentality.

Let's start with the internet. When I first discovered this magical online place, I used to piss a lot of people off. Back then I was in high school, and my parents got frequent phone calls about my "attitude problems" online from local Sysops.

The problem with this? I had no attitude problem. Some very innocent comments were taken out of proportion. Mom explained this - "On the internet you can't hear tone of voice so you have to be careful what you say!"

OK, so what mentally retarded god of nothing decided to make it a rule that "When in doubt, assume the worst!" If something can be taken a good way or a bad way, and a person CHOOSES to assume it's the bad way, that's their problem.

Moving on, there's the excuses and explanations. There's two ways of doing this one. First is when you're trying to offer up an excuse for something, such as "I couldn't come to to work because I was sick."

And people say "Well that's too good of an excuse, so I'm not going to accept it." That's bullcrap. IT's not my problem if it's "too good" of an excuse, and the fact is that it's still true, and it's your own personal hangup if you just feel like it's "too good."

Similarly, theres the one where it's like "Well, we can't prove that, so we're going to assume you're wrong." Also bullcrap. It's someone else's responsibility to prove i'm lying. It's my boss's job to prove I played hookie. I'm not going to bend over backwards to provide proof of something he could easily do himself, which is his JOB. The way I see it - I'm right until you prove me wrong. I'm telling the truth until it's proven that I'm lying. Anything less than that means bad things will happen to you.

[Greenday]

Similarly, theres the one where it's like "Well, we can't prove that, so we're going to assume you're wrong." Also bullcrap. It's someone else's responsibility to prove i'm lying. It's my boss's job to prove I played hookie. I'm not going to bend over backwards to provide proof of something he could easily do himself, which is his JOB. The way I see it - I'm right until you prove me wrong. I'm telling the truth until it's proven that I'm lying. Anything less than that means bad things will happen to you.

Unfortunately, you are talking about work and not the court of law. If they say you have to prove you were sick, then you have to prove you were sick or else there is nothing against the law saying they can't punish you.

I don't think threatening your boss is a great idea either.

[DrFaroohk]

I don't care if it's court of law or work or whatever. Just because it's the law (innocent until proven guilty) doesn't mean it's a bad idea elsewhere. And to me, punishing someone for something they didn't do, simply because they couldn't prove it didn't happen, is exactly the same as purposely framing someone for something they didn't do.

[Greenday]

It's a decent idea, but when you work for a private company, you have to abide by their rules. Don't like their rules? Don't work for them. Simple as that. If they decide you have to prove you were sick, then so be it. From a business point of view, why would they want employees that are going to fake being sick? It'd be better to only have employees that only take off when they actually are sick.

[DrFaroohk]

well again i'm not referring to a legal standpoint. Just more of an idealistic one. I believe there are certain inalienable rights that are far beyond any law, leader, government or God, and that every person has these, such as the right to not be screwed over.

Being accused of something I didn't do = being screwed over.

Being punished for something there's no proof of = being accused of something I didn't do.


I just see a lot of cases where it's like "well, i'd take too long to figure out the truth, so I'm just going to assume you're guilty."

or "I would accept that reasoning, but then everyone might start doing that." Well fuck everyone! We're talking about me. i NEVER get to use the "everyone else does it" excuse, so why does someone else get to all of a sudden?

[the_std]

or "I would accept that reasoning, but then everyone might start doing that." Well fuck everyone! We're talking about me. i NEVER get to use the "everyone else does it" excuse, so why does someone else get to all of a sudden?

Easy. You're not in a position of power. You don't make the rules. In situations where people use that against you, you're not high enough on the ladder to really do anything about it. And it sucks, it's not fair, it shouldn't happen, so maybe, if this happens to you so much, you should stop putting yourselves in situations where these people take advantage of your low standing. You seem to talk about this a lot, it's not fair, people abuse your and your easy-going ways. Yeah, it's sucky of them to do it, but how many times do you have to get burned before you stop sticking your hand in the fire? Man up and take some responsibility for the situations you get yourself into.

[Rageaholic]

It's a decent idea, but when you work for a private company, you have to abide by their rules. Don't like their rules? Don't work for them. Simple as that. If they decide you have to prove you were sick, then so be it. From a business point of view, why would they want employees that are going to fake being sick? It'd be better to only have employees that only take off when they actually are sick.

Unfortunately, it's not always that easy. Hell, finding a job alone can be a PITA.

I get what Doc is saying. Even though there are always going to be unreasonable and unflexable bosses, it doesn't mean it SHOULD be that way. It doesn't mean bosses shouldn't expect the employees to do their job, but at least understand that employees are human.

As for assuming the worst, I find it a lot healthier and reasonable to not assume that the worst will always happen. Like if I were going on a flight, I could easily think about what would happen if the plane crashed or there was another 9/11, but I know that realistically, that stuff rarely happens. (Contrary to what the news would have you believe). If something were to happen, it would probably be minor, like a delay or turbulance. Annoying, but hardly life threatening.

Easy. You're not in a position of power. You don't make the rules. In situations where people use that against you, you're not high enough on the ladder to really do anything about it. And it sucks, it's not fair, it shouldn't happen, so maybe, if this happens to you so much, you should stop putting yourselves in situations where these people take advantage of your low standing. You seem to talk about this a lot, it's not fair, people abuse your and your easy-going ways. Yeah, it's sucky of them to do it, but how many times do you have to get burned before you stop sticking your hand in the fire? Man up and take some responsibility for the situations you get yourself into.

What?

In a capitalist society, how is it possible not to put yourself in a position where someone will have power over you?

[the_std]

What?

In a capitalist society, how is it possible not to put yourself in a position where someone will have power over you?

I'm not talking about not giving anyone else power. I know that's impossible in a North American society. I'm talking about him being in situations where people take advantage of that power. It will happen to everyone occasionally, but it seems to happen to DrF all the time. He is constantly talking about how people are allowed to do things he is not, that people are taking advantage of him. If that is happening so often, you have to take a look at the common denominator - you, or the situations you put yourself in.

[Boozy]

Nearly everyone gets kicked around by "the man" to some degree or another. It's just how life works in a capitalist system. Every system, really.

However, I often see people fostering a victim mentality and refusing to do anything to help themselves.

For example, someone with a victim mentality might get fired from a job, and instead of going out to find another one immediately, they'll mope around unemployed, thinking that there's no point in working, because they'll just get fired again. They start to think that victimhood is their lot in life, and they give up.

And to expand on what I think the_std was saying, some people's attitudes are enough to cause them to get kicked around even worse than usual. Someone who carries himself with confidence gets treated better than someone who walks around like Eeyore.

Even in an unjust world, there are still countless things we can do to help ourselves. Complaining about how "unfair" life is does not do anything. It can be fun and cathartic in moderation, but it shouldn't be the only way one faces the world and their problems.

[Andara Bledin]

Also, there is a difference between being an innocent victim and being an ambulatory doormat.

^-.-^

[the_std]

Even in an unjust world, there are still countless things we can do to help ourselves. Complaining about how "unfair" life is does not do anything. It can be fun and cathartic in moderation, but it shouldn't be the only way one faces the world and their problems.

The highlight and bolding is mine. Moderation is the key. Also, Boozy got what I meant. It's all about standing up for yourself and being confident. There are occasions where you will get taken advantage of no matter what you do, but acting like you're strong, even if your not, gives you a giant advantage. Whining gets you nowhere.