Mom on FB

[bhskittykatt]

My mom is driving me nuts since she got on Facebook. She's started helicoptering over my virtual life. In real life, I've always been pretty independent. I was never nagged at to do homework or chores, and I thrived pretty well on that. I eventually moved out, and things were still hunky-dory. Then my parents moved across the country, which I think cause Mom to sort of freak-out, because she now makes the most asinine comments on everything I post! And I can't unfriend her because that would open up a whole can of drama I don't want to touch.

Case in point: I have a weight-loss blog that also posts to Facebook. I've lost just about 100 lbs over the past couple of years (well, 97 lbs, but we'll round to 100), and while I still have about 40 more lbs to go, I didn't just magically lose all that weight. I had to figure out how to log calories and balance carbs, fat, and protein ratios, I logged all my fitness minutes, had to figure out how to fit exercise into my life, etc. etc. I don't know everything, and don't claim to, but as for the basics, I've pretty much gotten that s*** figured out.

So when I post a blog about how awesome a new strength-training routine I discovered in a magazine was, my mom will post a comment like "Keep up the good work! Don't forget you need to also watch your diet and do aerobic exercise!" Well, no f***ing s***! Like I haven't figured that out yet. That wasn't even the focus of the post at all. Shut up.

She will also "Like" all my statuses. Every. Single. One. I posted a status update once after this happened. It went something along the lines of: "Feel sick to my stomach. Want to curl up and cry. Having a real bad day." My mom "liked" it. Great, thanks, glad to know that you take pleasure in the fact that I'm having a super s***ty day. Really the support I was looking for there, thanks. </sarcasm>

My friend recently asked me "Do you realize how your mom is behaving?" I was like yes, I am very well aware, and if I could tell her to shut the f*** up without a ton of drama I would.

If anyone has any advice on how to get her to just back off, I would love to hear it. She wasn't like this before she moved, so I'm sure it has something to do with feeling isolated and all that. But it's annoying, embarrassing, patronizing, and kinda pisses me off, and I have no idea how to tell her off without starting up a s***storm.

Gah, just had to get that all off my chest.

[AdminAssistant]

Put her on a limited profile so that she can't see all the things you post. It's the only way I've been able to have parents on FB and maintain sanity.

[Greenday]

I made a comment to my mom about how I have to watch what I say now since all my family is on facebook. My mom flipped out. I just wanted her to stop commenting on everything and liking everything. She slowed down for a little bit. Now that I'm back in Afghanistan, she comments on everything, likes everything, and messages me like twice a freaking day.

Without defriending her, you're basically fucked. Sorry.

[blas87]

My mom does the same thing, it's so annoying. I'm hoping I can get someone over here to show me how to put her on a limited profile so that she quits stalking me.

[HYHYBT]

Does "Like" on Facebook always necessarily mean you actually like it, or is it a way of marking things worth knowing or reading, whether they're good news or not?

I don't *use* FB (except minimally) partly for this reason. Mom and all her friend were on it before I ever found out what it was for. For that matter, there's not a lot I would want to post for everybody I know to see; I'd far rather know someone's email address and communicate that way. Facebook's great for *finding* people, but once the connection has been made, what's the point of keeping it there?

(Well, of course, it's also useful when you have something you *do* want everybody you even vaguely know to hear about...)

[Ree]

Does "Like" on Facebook always necessarily mean you actually like it, or is it a way of marking things worth knowing or reading, whether they're good news or not?

Yeah, I kind of see the "like" button as a way of acknowledging something, sort of like "I feel your pain" rather than actually saying I like your pain.
Then again, I would be much more likely to add a comment to that effect instead of hitting "like".

[gremcint]

you can hide her, and then I think you can turn off notifications for individual people.

[Gravekeeper]

Mom my hates Facebook, and for this I am happy.

The rest of my family fscking loves it though. But luckily, I hate it too and log in only once every 2 months so they don't bother me ;p

[insertNameHere]

After all the bitching my mother did about my facebook and anything I would post she would bitch to me about, not necessarily on facebook. Like posting "Work sucked today", I got bitched at for the equivalent of saying "I'm going to go into work tomorrow, execute my coworkers and customers then burn the place down, then take a crap on the ashes"

So, I unfriended her, blocked her and still have to be careful what I post on my other relatives walls because she will still bitch to me. Just sees less of what I do, had to block what my brother sees, because he also lets her on his account to view mine

[Giggle Goose]

So when I post a blog about how awesome a new strength-training routine I discovered in a magazine was, my mom will post a comment like "Keep up the good work! Don't forget you need to also watch your diet and do aerobic exercise!" Well, no f***ing s***! Like I haven't figured that out yet. That wasn't even the focus of the post at all. Shut up.

I don't think you could have gotten to this point WITHOUT knowing that. I've posted on here more than once about well-meaning friends and family that annoy me to no end with their "helpful" diet and fitness advice. So I def feel you on that one. Congrats on your weight loss, BTW, that's awesome!

I think I have you all beat, though....my GRANDMA is on Facebook and she uses it to stalk her 7 kids and 12 grandkids, including me that are on it. The latest drama popped up last weekend when my cousin posted that after much thought, she decided to keep the family cat, even though she had gotten aggressive and scratched her up pretty badly. Grandma then posts: "I don't think that's a good idea to have that cat around your kids." Then one of my cousin's friends posts "I don't think that's your decision" (which it's NOT). Apparently this was all deleted before anyone saw it, but Grandma still sent my cousin a message "lecturing" her and saying that her friend was rude for posting that about her comment. I really don't think she understands that public nature of it all.... *sigh*

I would de-friend her, but she's waaaay sensitive. I only keep my FB account active when I'm on breaks from school, because it's way too distracting when I'm trying to study. When I deactivated it last fall, she emailed me asking why I wasn't on her friends list, then asked me if I blocked her.

Reminds me a lot of this: Damn It, My Mom's on Facebook

[RavenStarr]

My Mom hates computers and will only use them when she has to....Therefore..No Mom on facebook equals happy RavenStarr...Mostly.

[muses_nightmare]

My mom doesn't spend a lot of time of FB, thank gods, but she is on mine. :P She actually deleted her account awhile ago because someone she didn't like friend requested her, aside from the person checking your account, FB doesn't send a message to them saying you rejected them, this had to be explained to my mom several times.

She also doesn't put anyone on her FB that she talks to in person every day. I'm on her's because we don't live in the same city anymore, and she likes to check in on my career/projects. She hasn't really commented a lot on stuff, I don't put a lot of sad statuses because I'll get a phonecall later on from her asking me why I'm depressed.

[Andara Bledin]

And this, my friends, is why everybody should take the time to learn how Facebook actually works.

You don't want your mom to know everything you do, then exclude her. Set up lists. Set up permissions. Use the feature for every post you make to exclude people you know will just give you a headache if they see it.

^-.-^

[Ree]

I got this in my email the other day:
Dad's New Facebook Account

[HYHYBT]

And this, my friends, is why everybody should take the time to learn how Facebook actually works.

You don't want your mom to know everything you do, then exclude her. Set up lists. Set up permissions. Use the feature for every post you make to exclude people you know will just give you a headache if they see it.

^-.-^

All that trouble to do something through Facebook without the wrong people seeing it, when email would do the same thing automatically.