Online dating sites

[Depot Denizen]

That's a good idea, I'll have to do that. I'm the same way, really. I like profiles that are unusual/crazy in a way. Then again, I'm also attracted to unusual girls (goth, for example). Granted, I have to look normal to keep my job, aside from two pairs of earrings I have. "Normal" girls aren't quite as appealing to me. Unfortunately I don't consider myself to be very photogenic, so I only have a few pics listed on my profile.

[Greenday]

I don't look for completely out of the ordinary women, but if someone can't put enough effort to make their profile different from everyone else's in some way, how are they different from everyone else that would make me attracted to them over everyone else?

[Depot Denizen]

I agree. I did find one woman who seemed rather interesting. Sent her a message, no response. Then a few days later she posted "If people want to talk IM me on [name]" in her profile. Gave that a shot. Said she didn't respond because she considered the human form to be something to be admired and godlike, and well, I didn't fit that description. Ok, whatever. Keep talking to her. Then I find out she's actually kind of crazy in a bad way. As in, she's holding out for a guy who she admitted was a complete loser who had cheated on her multiple times, her parents hated him, and he was a general douchebag. But she was madly in love with him because they 'met in another lifetime' as soul-mates and therefore were destined to be together. I got away from that real fast. Of course she could have made it all up.

That said, I don't think my standards are unrealistic. I have my preferences, mind you, but really the basics are being able to spell and write properly, have a good sense of humor, and be intelligent. Piercings and tattoos are a plus. XD

[Gravekeeper]

OkC's actually really good for throwing up articles and discussions on how to maximize your profile, based on their own site metrics. And yeah, their Trends are rather fascinating ( They inform me that women from Russia and the Ukraine are essentially my archnemesis for example. While conversely I apparently should have been born in Japan or Korea if I wanted to meet compadible females. >< ).

I don't really do much with OkC admittedly though. I have an anon-profile just to keep an eye on the waters, but I find the actual matches it deems to send to me are pretty off the mark ( I guess I somehow set my parameters to "White, doughy and insane" ). The match % thing is good if you actually log in and search by it. But its ability to take your perferences and suggest choice matches ( or quivers or whatever it calls them ) is awful.

It also has no apparent way to filter in or out people who already have children. Which is a pretty big omission, frankly.

Still, its a good site and better than most paysites.

[Depot Denizen]

The "has a child" filter omission is pretty bad, I agree. I ended up posting in their forum to get advice on my profile, and read some other threads including one that had a female's point of view on what messages work better than others. From what I read, I was already following the guidelines rather well. One problem I suppose I do have is that I am heavyset. Muscular and strong, but I'm losing weight. I'm 270ish but don't look it at all. Point is, I'm taking active steps to make myself better rather than just QQing about it (though sometimes that does happen).

[guywithashovel]

I don't consider myself very photogenic, either. However, I have found that I like photographs of myself better since I've lost weight. Over the past 3 1/2 years, I have gone from 185 lbs to 154 lbs. The weight loss has been in spurts, though. Before losing the weight, I would look at pictures of me and think I looked like the Pillsbury Dough Boy with clothes on. Now, my face is leaner, and I have a more slender figure.

However, I still look quite a bit younger than I really am, which tends to be a hindrance for guys, unfortunately. I'm 29, but I could probably pass for 20 or 21. At the college I work for, I've had some people mistake me for a student. Oh well, just got to make the best out of what you have, I guess.

[Gravekeeper]

The "has a child" filter omission is pretty bad, I agree.

Apparently it has one now, but I had to dig for it, and it doesn't work on email matches or the random quiver thing. Still a nice trend of high % match with crazy people though! I'm not sure what that says about me. >.>

[Greenday]

When you search for online people, you can only choose if they have kids or don't have kids. Nothing about whether people want kids.

[doogiej]

I'm a woman and I'm on a dating site. Sometimes it's not so much the messages that I get that mean I don't talk to someone, but their username. If your username is "10incher" (yes that's a real username of someone that has messaged me), I'm not messaging you back. If I wanted a random sexual encounter, I would say that. That's not what I'm looking for.

I have the added difficulty of having 5 kids, which makes most men run screaming. I'm not looking for a dad for them, they have one that is very involved. Hell my oldest has 2 dads. It just means that I have a built in babysitter for every weekend. I'm also sarcastic and really don't care what people think of me. So I frequently embarrass people, or offend them. It's entertaining, but doesn't really get me anywhere on lonely nights.