being volunteered for babysitting

[KellyHabersham]

*this isn't about the kids involved, it's more to do with poor planning on the part of their parents, and people NOT being able to keep my work schedule straight.*

Twice now, it's come up that my sister and her husband needed my mom to keep the kids overnight on Friday because they had stuff going on Saturday morning (which they couldn't take their kids to). This would be fine, except that they've picked times when my mom had something going on Saturday morning, and so I've ended up being the one to babysit the kids.

The problem with THAT is, I have to work Saturdays, and have to take the bus at a certain time to make sure that I won't be late for work. And my sister/her husband are not able to pick up their kids by/before that time.......fortunately, my mom has been able to make arrangements to be home in time so that I can be at work when I need to.

[LexiaFira]

yeah *sarcasm* I LOVE when people or family don't realize other people have lives too and that its a GOOD IDEA to call in advance like a day, or two or three in advance or maybe the MONDAY of that week just to make sure!
*end sarcasm* not everyone does the whole make plans for the day the day before or THAT day.
You aren't the only one.
Sis in law's spouse is notorious for last minute stuff on his schedule and to hell with others you are watching his kids so he can pretend to do whatever it is he said he would, have his wife make excuses for him - and not say no to him but still complain - and then end up having her do it.

[Greenday]

My mom used to volunteer me to do stuff all the time. Finally, once I had my car, I just said no. When she said that she already told people yes, I would just reply, "Wow, then you are going to have to look REALLY stupid when you told them I'd do something without asking me." She stopped pretty fast.

[Andara Bledin]

They'll keep it up for as long as it doesn't blow up on them.

And as long as your mom makes arrangements, they have nothing to worry about because they aren't being inconvenienced.

If you don't make a stand, you'll just keep enabling them to be irresponsible with your time.

^-.-^

[KellyHabersham]

It's not really that I personally get volunteered for babysitting, it's that my sister & her husband just seem to need the help on the weekends when my mom has stuff going on, and my daughter isn't available to help out. (she spent the night with a friend last night)

[RecoveringKinkoid]

They'll keep it up for as long as it doesn't blow up on them.



^-.-^

Quoted for truth. I was gonna say this very thing.

There's no reason for them to stop it at this point. Maybe you ought to give them a reason.

[boringscreenname]

We always call a week or two in advance of when we'll actually need a baby-sitter. I fully realize that other people have lives and stuff going on, and they shouldn't be expected to drop everything just to watch our kids, so we always give plenty of notice.

Now I have had the opposite happen with my sister in law, who's pretty notorious for being flaky. We called her several weeks in advance and asked if she could baby-sit and she agreed. So the day we needed her to baby-sit we called before we dropped the kids off. Suddenly she claimed that we never called her and made arrangements and refused to baby-sit, which put us in a bind. She's pulled this crap before, agree to baby-sit and then back out at the last minute. She had a huge falling out with my husband, so we never even bother to ask her to baby-sit anymore.

[Mishi]

There's no reason for them to stop it at this point. Maybe you ought to give them a reason.

I did that by accident! No one has volunteered me for babysitting or asked for short-notice babysitting since I was 6 months pregnant with my second bub and landed in hospital with severe gastro. Cousin-in-law dropped off her son after I was volunteered, I called her an hour later to pick her kid up because I was suddenly very sick. She didn't talk to me for months!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Somebody who showed up at my house out of the blue on someone else's say so and then got mad when I ended up in the hospital and inconvenienced her would be pretty much dead to me at that point. Seriously. She could keep on not talking to me until the end of time. Because she would cease to exist as far as I was concerned. That is OUTRAGEOUS.

Don't even deal with shit like that. Someone shows up, just say "Oh, sorry, I didn't know anything about that. I'm going out." Don't even let them in.

They'll go back and bitch at whoever the idiot was that volunteered you. Eventually, the idiot will get tired of being bitched at and knock off doing it.

[protege]

My mom used to volunteer me to do stuff all the time. Finally, once I had my car, I just said no.

In my case, getting 'volunteered' to do stuff didn't stop once I got a car. In fact, it tended to make things worse. Either I did what my mother wanted, or I'd get reamed out for it. Along that line, I'd get up many weekend mornings...and find that my car was gone. Without even asking, my parents would decide that my brother would take one of their cars, and since he couldn't handle a stick...dad would take my car instead. Meaning, that I'd either spend the entire day at home, or I'd have to wait until my car came back. But, all of that changed when my brother was taking summer college courses. He flipped out on me because I didn't give him a phone message "quickly" enough. I told him to go fuck himself, and that he'd have to find some other way to get to class. The car was mine, and I was hiding the keys

[KellyHabersham]

Now that I think about it, I've been "volunteered" to babysit my own daughter before......as weird as that may sound. The way it happened was that last summer, my mom and some other relatives were planning a trip to our cabin in northern Arizona, and "Heather" didn't want to go along.

So Mom decided to have her stay with me for the weekend. Which would have been fine, except that I had to work a six-hour shift both days, Heather isn't quite responsible enough to be left at home alone for long periods of time (no matter if it was at my apartment or my mom's house), and I knew she was NOT going to want to stay at the library while I was working. (Not to mention that my mom didn't ask me if this arrangement would work out for me, she just decided that was how it was going to be for that weekend)

[KellyHabersham]

As an update of sorts, it looks like I (and my mom) may not be volunteered for babysitting for awhile - what happened was that I'd needed my sister and her husband to take my daughter for a brief period this weekend, and for one reason or another, they backed out. And my mom was rather frustrated because of all the times she's agreed to help them out, so she said that the next time they ask her to watch their kids, she's going to say "no".

[boringscreenname]

That stinks! Unfortunately I have a "friend" like this. I baby-sat her son multiple times over a 3 month period, never asked her for a dime, but we agreed she'd watch my kids in exchange. Then whenever we asked her to watch our kids (and we asked on multiple occasions, different days, different time frames, etc...) she was never available to watch our kids. So I stopped offering to watch her kid.

I'm all for helping my friends out when they need someone to watch their kids, but I expect the favor to be returned. I won't let myself get taken advantage of and have no problem setting boundaries.

[KellyHabersham]

Yeah, it definitely stinks - without getting into all the details, it would have saved a LOT of stress on my end if they were able/willing to take my daughter for part of this weekend. (Not that "Heather" is a bad kid, but she IS at that difficult teenager point, and being as I have an anxiety disorder, it's hard for me to deal with her on my own)

*Basically, what happened is that once again, my mom and other relatives went out of town to check on things at our cabin, Heather didn't want to go along, and because I was scheduled to work, I kind of got stuck with her.