Rawr

[blas87]

Why do people always have a way to make you feel guilty or bitchy or assholish?

I don't want someone to come over, it's past 4:00 am, all of my neighbors are sleeping, you're drunk. Do NOT come over. Aw, you don't want to call a cab? Then maybe you shouldn't have drank so much. No, I won't come get you. No, YOU CANNOT COME OVER, you have drank too much and you are extremely loud and don't realize what you're doing when you're drunk. This is NOT a fucking flop house. It would be one thing if you were a good friend who got carried away or got left behind at the bars, but you get drunk every single weekend and occasionally get the stupid idea in your head that you can come over and crash here.

Sure, it's a little selfish that I'd rather not let you stay here. I really don't want you driving drunk, but you aren't my problem. I feel bad that you driving drunk is dangerous and you could hurt someone, but I am not a fucking nursemaid or babysitter or a free motel room for you to go to when you've ran out of money and you're wasted.

And ya know what? I know you can't reason with drunks, but I did try. You came over anyway, you put me in a tough position, because if I didn't let you in and let you stay and kept you calm, you would have probably started pounding on the door and woken up the neighbors and gotten me a noise complaint (which is a tick on my record, two and you are evicted around here! Oh, and to everyone on here, please don't start with the "Well maybe they'd understand you couldn't help that a drunk friend was pounding on your door....you guys should know well enough by now that they only care about themselves and their quiet), so I swallowed hard and let you in. I TRIED to lay down the law and said you're laying on the futon, go to sleep, DO NOT bother me and DO NOT make a god damned peep or make any noise that would bother anyone else in this building, and you HAVE to be up before 11 am, because SOME OF US DON'T GET DRUNK EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT, AND THEREFORE AREN'T HUNGOVER, and I want to go to the gym and run a few errands. It's always been a personal rule of mine that NO ONE is allowed here if I am not home (save for family, which they never do that to me anyway), and I am not going to sacrifice a Saturday morning/afternoon forced to mope around because you're laying around miserable trying to nurse a hangover.

I woke you up and I told you that you had to be out of here within the next hour, because I had stuff to do, I had let you stay the night here, but I couldn't let you spend all day curing your hangover on my futon. You got mad, took it as a personal insult, called me a selfish bitch and said that I never do anything nice for you, and stomped the hell out of here. Yeah, great. It's not even 11 am and my neighbors get to hear stomping. Great.

Fuck people. Seriously.

I hate being made out to be selfish and a bitch when I establish boundaries and rules regarding my home, and people refuse to abide by them.

[Andara Bledin]

Blas, I know you know it, but your friends are immature assholes.

As for the drunks who call thinking they can stop by, do you have some free service you can call to go pick up their stupid asses and dump them at their own places?

^-.-^

[Cats]

You're not being selfish by not letting them stay there. Like you said, it's one thing to pull a favor if they were genuinely abandoned at the bars or something as a time time deal. I don't see how you were any in the wrong by what your did, so you shouldn't feel selfish or a bitch no matter how much they seem to try to make you out as one.

What I don't understand though, is why they feel the need to crash at your place...don't they have their own?

[ExRetailDrone]

Call me a bitch, but I think if I had told some drunk douche that s/he couldn't stay at my place and they showed up anyway, I would've called the cops on them. They can go sleep it off in the drunk tank if they need a place to crash so badly

[XCashier]

Blas, you were not the one being a selfish bitch; your friend is. He brazenly manipulated you, playing on your sense of kindness and guilt. He ignored the rules you laid down, rules that you had every right to lay down, seeing as it was your house (okay, apartment, still, it's your place, your rules). Then he had the audacity to be rude to you when you reminded him of his part of the deal.

He is an immature, selfish jerk. If he can be reasoned with when he's sober, you can try. If he won't listen and still insists that you were in the wrong, well, do you really want a "friend" like that?

[telecom_goddess]

What everyone else said....some people!

[HotelKatz]

I go by a few rules. One of them being a person's place is their castle.

I stopped thinking of my two older half sisters as family when they were guests at my parent's apartment and tried to dictate how everything goes.

I don't talk to them anymore. All i know is that they are trying to pull a scam over each other.

I think you were in the right about not allowing anyone in your home when you weren't there, Blas.

[insertNameHere]

I always make it a point to try and secure lodging before or while I'm getting drunk, rarely after, I also bring a cooler full of beer or spring for food when visiting my college friends, oddly I never have trouble finding a place to crash. I hate when people expect to stay, like when I was in college and the one roommates (X) friends seriously acted like I had no business being in the house I paid rent for because they were a friend of X, I'm glad the landlord took my back and said "well InsertName pays me rent, pays me rent months in advance, you don't pay me rent and as far as I'm concerned if you make it to a point where he tells you to leave this house regardless of X inviting you, you need to leave"

my feeling is nobody should make you feel like an asshole in your personal castle, if you were a selfish bitch they would have slept on the porch till the police came to remove them for trespassing and disturbing the peace.

Side note: I think it fucked up you can get in trouble for someone you have no invited over pounding on your door that you want to leave. You think those rules would be for the crazy lets get durnk and a have a party in the apartment peopel till 4am

[Gravekeeper]

Why is this person even still your friend? He sounds like a fuck bagel.

Personally if a friend ever pulled that on me, he'd be left outside my door to rot and if he made any noise I'd call the police personally to haul his stupid ass away.

[Sarah Valentine]

If he called me a selfish bitch, I would have called him a drunk asshole and told him to take his ass out that door and next time he can sleep in his friggin car.

[blas87]

The people I know don't budget for cabs.....every bar in town associates with a program called "Safe Ride" so they don't even need to worry about a cab if they get a bind, but it still costs money. Quite frankly, cabs are really expensive around here (it's about $10 at least to get here from down by the campus bars, which is only 3 miles....it costs $20 to go as far as that person lives, which is 3 more miles away from my place).

Still, that's no excuse. Then don't get so drunk you can't drive. Not my problem.

Things with the neighbors should get easier once Old Bitch moves out before the end of the month (provided she isn't replaced by another person like her). The neighbors are the main thing about here, as to why I cave and just would let them in anyway and cut my losses. I'd rather not have a tick on my record, this place has a "zero tolerance" policy against noise, which is draconian but it's not like you can always help it.

Looking back on it, I should have just said "Get in the car, I'll just take you home and you can find someone to bring you back to your car tomorrow." because I hadn't gone anywhere since I got home Friday, but it had snowed/sleeted Friday evening and my car was covered in a layer of nastiness, on top of the roads being slick since it wasn't even 30 degrees. Ick.