Assholes

[muses_nightmare]

Okay so that's a broad spectrum of people, but in this case I'm referring to a couple of things that have happened recently.

First, one of my best friends basically got told she's not "allowed" to have a child by the people who share the house her and her husband live in. Their reasoning? They don't want to deal with a crying baby. This is something that she's wanted for a long time, something that she may not be able to do after a certain age, and they're telling her that waiting a year is no big deal when every year closer to that age makes it more difficult to become pregnant or to stay pregnant. They're calling her selfish while they're the ones treating it as if she wants a pet as opposed to a family. It's also none of their business what she decides to do. To tell someone that they can't do something for that selfish of a reason is utterly selfish. I just want to go kick all of their asses, including her husband who just keeps trying to appease everyone but his wife.

Second, my boyfriend told me this morning that a bunch of people at his work are making fun of him behind his back. They're saying hes "waddling" around his dept acting like he knows what he's doing. One of the main people who said this is someone who has come to work still drunk, this is a hospital setting too, they're dealing with radiation (x-ray dept). He calls my bf and his coworker on nights lazy, while he didn't bother to show up for a night shift until 4am, it started at 10:30. Not to mention some of the ER nurses have called him "The night Nazi" which frankly, should be getting them in a lot of shit. All he asks of them is that they do their jobs properly, things like making sure patients are changed before sending them, calling the dept before the send a patient etc. Things they are supposed to be doing anyway. I mean really, just because someone is actually following proper procedure does not mean their a "Nazi", especially when that procedure is for the safety of the patient. Of course beyond what other people have heard and what my bf has heard there isn't really any proof, he knows it's happening, it's offensive and upsetting, but he can't really do much about it right now.

I'm just beyond pissed at the world right now, I really am. It seems to me that the assholes of the world get away with everything, while good honest, hard-working people get screwed over time and time again.

[DrFaroohk]

As far as the baby goes, are they paying to live there, or staying for free? Not to totally pick sides, but I know if I had a house and prized my child-free environment, and I let some friends stay there for free for a while to help them out, I'd be like "no way are you having kids here."

[muses_nightmare]

They own half of the house.

[patiokitty]

Ouch. I'd be trying to figure out a way to get out of that home-owning situation ASAP. When they had bought the place together had they talked about the possibility of having children? If the original agreement had been that kids were okay then I'd go with that, but if there was no agreement there probably should have been.

It's because of those sorts of situation arising that if I ever buy a place it will not be with somebody else other than my partner (when I get one) or my son. There will also be certain agreements in place before even going looking for a place.

As for hubby's work, without proof or people willing to make statements on your hubby's behalf there isn't much that can be done. Only thing I can suggest is that he takes a look at how he interacts with everybody he works with and see if there is maybe some way he can adjust slightly so that his coworkers stop calling him names. The lazy co-worker should be reported if he's showing up drunk or significantly late, too.

[muses_nightmare]

Well, it was actually her husband who bought the house with his friend, before he and my friend were ever together, and her husband did already have a child from a previous relationship, he doesn't have custody, but the child is there sometimes, and she was there when she was much younger as well, so I mean the idea of a child in the house isn't really a new one.

I think they need to get out of that living situation as well, and I think they're looking into way to do that, or at least they were the last time I discussed it with my friend.

As for the things with my bf's work, well unfortunately management really really sucks there. As far as I know the guy that normally works with my bf is grieving the fact that the other guy was called in and he wasn't as he has more seniority, and he's going to be asking what exactly the policy is for a situation like that. The sad thing is, management knows about it, and has basically done nothing. It's a really shitty situation. There are a couple things my bf was doing that they were specifically making fun of him for, nothing that warranted it mind you, but he figures it's better to not fuel the fire.

As far as him and his coworker can tell management doesn't like them for whatever reason, and we think they're trying to find a way to get rid of them. I really don't know what they did to warrant this behaviour, but unfortunately there isn't a hell of a lot they can do besides try to be model employees to the best of their abilities.

[Boozy]

I hate to say it, but your friends' housemates have a point. Having a baby is the equivalent of bringing another person (a loud and messy person) come to live with you. Would your friends appreciate it if their housemates brought in another roommate without asking them?

One of them needs to buy the other out. Your friends are in a really messy living situation right now, not to mention a messy financial situation, and they need to get that sorted before they start a family.

[DrFaroohk]

^ Yeah. I mean, when you really think about it, and get down to all the nitty-gritty, children are just terrible people. I know they can't help it and don't know any better and hey that's just what babyies do! But they are awful people. They stink, make a mess with their food, shit whereever they want, they're loud and obnoxious and rude and scream at inappropriate times.

Wait for it........

[Gravekeeper]

Yes, Scenario 1) is a valid complaint. Scenario 2) however, assholes. -.-

[muses_nightmare]

Well, the living situation sucks, but they have had kids there before, and everyone in the house knew that they would be starting a family, and not in the distant future. It's not something she can really wait around for, a year or so is alot of time when you've been told that you may not even be able to conceive after a certain age, especially when that age is less than 5 years away, and it becomes more risky or difficult to conceive. These people know this. Frankly I don't like what the other guy that owns the house has done, at one point my friend was living at her mother's house because the roommate basically called her a freeloader and attacked one of her family members. This was after she was already married to her husband.

I think they're mainly trying to control her. And frankly after all she's gone through with the roommate I'd say fuck him, he can deal with it when it happens. But then I'm fairly biased in this instance.

[Greenday]

You say they had kids there before. How long ago? A couple years? 10? 20?

If they just did, I don't really see their argument. If it was 10 or more years ago, I can totally understand their argument. At 23, I know I don't have the energy I did at 13.

[Gravekeeper]

I'm still kind of in the middle on this. It sucks yeah, but they're still perfectly within their right to express that opinion seeing as they own half the house. The living situation is pretty stupid ( and honestly I think they're stupid for getting into it. Really stupid. ) but as long as it exists, they get a say in how the space is used. Regardless of your friends fertility.

But seeing as I imagine no one in this situation had the foresight to actually put anything in writing, no one in this situation can really stop anyone else from doing anything anyway. It'll just end up creating a nice little toxic living enviroment between both sides where nobody's happy. Which I'm sure will be wonderful to raise a child in.

[muses_nightmare]

Yeah I know, they are looking into moving out, or having the roommate buy half the house or something, it's just difficult since the economy isn't all that great there and they'd have to have someone buy out their half of the house before they could even consider moving elsewhere. It's also that the whole "not allowed" to have kids thing is kind of coming at her from all sides, not just the roommates, she has family members telling her this too, ones who don't live with her, and the fact that when they do talk about it they talk about it like she wants a puppy or something, not like the serious matter that it is for the most part. It's a really screwed up situation that I really hope she can get out of soon. I don't want to see her hurt any more than she's already been.

[muses_nightmare]

She never had kids, her husband has, I think his child is 5 or 6 now, maybe 7? And she still comes around and stays with them some weekends and such, but he doesn't have custody (as far as I'm aware). My friend and her husband have only been together I think 3 years now.

Oh and I'd also like to add (in response to GK), it was her husband that got into the situation in the first place, my friend just happens to be stuck in it because of that. I don't understand why anyone would think it's a good idea, but that's what the situation is now unfortunately

They also live in the bottom half of the house, and they have a small kitchen down there and such, and a couple of rooms, so it's not like they're living in the next room over from the roommates or anything, they're in a completely different part of the house.

[Gravekeeper]

Oh and I'd also like to add (in response to GK), it was her husband that got into the situation in the first place, my friend just happens to be stuck in it because of that.

Ah, even better. ><

[Andara Bledin]

I would so never buy into a house with people I didn't plan to spend the rest of my life with, or unless there was a strong buy-out clause in the contract we had with one another.

^-.-^