What I want to happen WILL happen!

[Sarah Valentine]

If this isn't the right place for it, please feel free to move it where ever you feel is necessary.

I was reading a post on CS and the beginning of it reminded me of an episode of Dr. Phil I saw a couple of years ago, I felt sorry for the guy's wife because he was an asshole and she couldn't leave. I hope the girl on CS left the jerkass she was with, because she seems like a nice girl and deserves better. Here's the first part of the post which everyone seemed to ignore but me.


The following is from the original post found here: http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=76973

"With my 2nd child (She was a surprise.. Well, she was planned but not by me. I had a much older boyfriend who wanted me to want to settle down and have kids and I was 18 and sooo not ready to do that yet, when I told him I wasn't ready to settle down and I wanted to go to college, he made it a habit of wanting sex when I was sleeping and answering yes to when I asked him if he was wearing a condom)"


Now it might be just me but the lying about the condom thing is wrong, and the thing about having sex with the person when their asleep is wrong. If I woke up to that I wouldn't be all "hey cool, let's finish". I would shove them off of me and tell them that what they are doing could be considered rape since I didn't say it was ok and that the relationship was over. I wouldn't care how "nice" and "polite" the acts, if he pulls that kind of shit he doesn't deserve to be with me.

[Evandril]

Lying in a relationship, IMO, is wrong, period. If you can't be honest with the person you're with...why are you with them??

The 'sex while asleep' thing...depends on the people, honestly...but agreed, you don't do something of that sort without prior acknowlegement that it's ok. I've been with some ladies who enjoyed being teased awake, though I don't think I could bring myself to do the whole 'Oh, she's asleep, I'm just going to stick it in!' thing...but that's me *shrugs*

[Giggle Goose]

[FONT="Verdana"] he made it a habit of wanting sex when I was sleeping and answering yes to when I asked him if he was wearing a condom)

Maybe I'M reading this wrong, but I'm pretty sure I know the difference condom/no condom if I couldn't see what was going on down there.

Not really sure what the post was in the context of, but the whole thing just seems a little "off." It doesn't even seem like it would be pleasureable unless both parties were fully awake, but that's a matter of personal preference.

[Andara Bledin]

Maybe I'M reading this wrong, but I'm pretty sure I know the difference condom/no condom if I couldn't see what was going on down there.

Some people just don't have that same level of tactile awareness. And, I suspect that if he were to use a liberal amount of lube, it might be difficult to tell, even for those of us who do.

I would so go on the pill on the sly if I even thought the guy I was with might try this. If he didn't, then no harm, no foul. If he did, then I could kick him to the curb with much less likelihood of undesired consequences on my part.

^-.-^

[Eisa]

If someone tried to have sex with me while I was sleeping, I consider that rape. I'm asleep. I can't give consent. Snuffling sounds do not equal this big, enthusiastic "YES BABY!"

And lying about the condoms? Would get his ass kicked to the curb. And probably giving the kid up for adoption. I don't know that I could go as far as getting an abortion. But that would be very fucked up.

[Becks]

The 'sex while asleep' thing...depends on the people, honestly...but agreed, you don't do something of that sort without prior acknowlegement that it's ok.

My former SIL did that with my brother. Yes, it was HER taking care of business while HE was sleeping.

Maybe I'M reading this wrong, but I'm pretty sure I know the difference condom/no condom if I couldn't see what was going on down there.

Gotta be honest with you, there. I can't ever feel a difference.

[Mishi]

My former SIL did that with my brother. Yes, it was HER taking care of business while HE was sleeping.

That's why my husband's nephew exists. Not a story that I will share, except to say that most of the family wonders why my brother-in-law hates his ex-girlfriend so very, very much. Luckily, he adores his son.

[Hyena Dandy]

The 'sex while asleep' thing...depends on the people, honestly...but agreed, you don't do something of that sort without prior acknowlegement that it's ok.

Exactly. If you're with someone who knows you'd think that a welcome wake-up call, then yay. Otherwise, boo. Very boo. >_> I mean, rape is rape, no matter what gender does it.

[Miss_Maple_Leaf]

The 'sex while asleep' thing...depends on the people, honestly...but agreed, you don't do something of that sort without prior acknowlegement that it's ok.

Agreed 100%.

If someone I was in a relationship with tried that with me I'd be on the phone in a heartbeat calling the cops to come arrest them for rape. Agreeing to sex while awake does not mean giving permanent consent. If I'm asleep then leave me to it and ask me in the morning once I've woken up. If you can't wait, then that's what hands, Playboy, and the bathroom are for.

[alogram]

I call BULLSHIT on this whole thing. Sorry, but unless someone is drugged, you KNOW when someone is trying to have sex with you. If you get pregnant, it is the fault of both parties. (Unless of course condoms have been tampered with, etc.)

[Miss_Maple_Leaf]

Sorry, but unless someone is drugged, you KNOW when someone is trying to have sex with you.

Not necessarily. Some people are really heavy sleepers. I myself have slept through a hurricane before. If you're really tired when you're going to bed, and a heavy sleeper to boot, then I can see how you'd sleep through that.

Some people are just dead to the world when they're sleeping and as such, wouldn't awaken at something like that.

[Andara Bledin]

I call BULLSHIT on this whole thing. Sorry, but unless someone is drugged, you KNOW when someone is trying to have sex with you. If you get pregnant, it is the fault of both parties. (Unless of course condoms have been tampered with, etc.)

My ex slept through the Northridge earthquake and my attempts to get him to wake up. And my boyfriend has asked me about events during the night that I never actually woke up for, despite responding rather enthusiastically.

^-.-^

[Mishi]

My husband and I have managed to both sleep though sex. The conversation went a little like this: "Did we have sex last night or was it just a really good dream?" - "I was just about to ask you that!"

So, to me, it's plausible.

[Miss_Maple_Leaf]

Okay, Mishi, now that is hilarious.

I've heard of sleepwalking (my brother used to do that, in fact) but this is the first time I've heard of sleep sex. (Well, except for that one episode of House.)

At least you both remembered it and enjoyed it, even if you guys did both think you were dreaming.

[Eisa]

Erm...yes, it's possible.

With my douchebag ex, I was constantly sleep-deprived because he'd make me go to bed really late and then had to get up really early. The last day there, he was trying to make me stay awake the whole time until I got on the bus...and I couldn't do it, I fell asleep.

I woke up to him between my legs. So yep, it's possible.