family members & planning things

[KellyHabersham]

*this has been an on-going problem for the past several years, and unfortunately I've never been able to come up with a solution......just needed to gripe about it because it's getting close to the time when my family plans summer stuff*


To make it brief - schedules at the library are done about six weeks in advance, so if I want to request time off, I need to know ASAP so I can plan ahead. Otherwise, I'm stuck because once the schedule is posted, the idea is that it's not changed unless something like an illness or family emergency comes up.....not a guarantee that I'd be able to get time off for "fun" stuff.

And this has been REALLY tough trying to explain to those in my immediate family who do work, but have more flexibility and are able to do "spur of the moment" things. Because sometimes they seem to get frustrated with me for not joining in on things, and don't seem to get that I can't just take time off work whenever I want to.

[Andara Bledin]

Yeah, that's never any fun.

Maybe, just to try to drive that point home a little better, you could give everybody a copy of your work schedule every time it's posted so that they can't have any excuse of not knowing you had to work.

Plus, it might have the added bonus of letting them know, when you hand over a schedule for a point nearly 2 months in the future, that if they want to do something with you, they need to do a little more planning than they have been.

Put the onus on them for not including you and take away any excuse of them not knowing when you work.

^-.-^

[KellyHabersham]

That's a great idea........especially now that I've got a fairly set schedule at the library, and there's one day a week when we're always closed, it shouldn't be THAT difficult to remember when I work. (not that I expect everyone to work around my availability, but as an example, it shouldn't be THAT hard to remember that the library is closed on Fridays)

[Boozy]

I'm sure that I've complained about this before - my family cannot seem to get it into their heads that I sometimes work Sundays.

My mother is constantly planning events for Sundays and is then surprised when I say I have to work. I must have had the same conversation with her half a dozen times in the last three years.

[Ginger Tea]

I'm sure that I've complained about this before - my family cannot seem to get it into their heads that I sometimes work Sundays.

My mother is constantly planning events for Sundays and is then surprised when I say I have to work. I must have had the same conversation with her half a dozen times in the last three years.

I work 2 out of every 3 weekends myself, some starting at 5am and others 11am and Captain Dickhead wouldn't always get the hint that I would not be going out or out for too long if I was starting at 6am (5am is kinda new) especially when we used to finish at 8pm, 8pm finish and back at 6am, go to the pub? fuck that.

I can not get christmas off, I'm lucky if I get christmas or boxing day off, but a week holiday fat chance, I'm not religious so I don't care that much about not being off, but my Mum was dissapointed I couldn't come up for her birthday (also christmas day) so one year we had a late christmas type thing in Feburary.

[blas87]

I feel for you completely, Boozy.

The ONLY day of the week that my family seems to want to plan big get togethers (I mean, more than just immediate family) is.....SUNDAY. Guess what day I have to go back to being a night shifter and sleep all day?

Yeah, unlike some of my coworkers who can sleep an hour here and there, be up for hours, sleep an hour here or there.....I cannot do that. Can't. And I won't. Not healthy. Not safe for me.

And then, oh, wouldn't you know it.....Grandma and everyone else always ask "Why can't blas ever come?"

Mind you also, my parents NEVER tell me about these Sunday family gatherings until maybe a week in advance, which is not ample time to request off (because it's not a good enough reason).

[boringscreenname]

I feel for you. My husband's family is notorious for pulling this kind of crap. A couple years ago they invited us both to Easter dinner. We asked them when they were going to serve dinner, because I was working second shift and had to be on the road by 2:30 p.m. They said dinner would be served by 2 p.m. so we said ok and accepted their invitation.

We get to their house and sit around the whole time. Finally it was getting close to the time we had to leave and we asked David's aunt if dinner would be ready by 2:30. She said there was no way it'd be done by then and it would be done by 4 p.m. at the earliest. My husband asked her why she said it would be ready and served at 2 then. She said she figured if she told people dinner was at 2, then everyone would probably be there by 4, the time she intended to serve dinner.

So we had to leave in a hurry then find a drive-thru that was open on Easter Sunday because we no longer had time to go to a sit down restaurant. If they would've just been honest from the start and said when they were originally going to serve dinner it wouldn't have been a problem.

Now we have two kids of our own, and we pretty much just do stuff with our kids.

[KellyHabersham]

Just thought of another side to this where it can get sucky - it's also happened that I've gotten left out of things because whomever made plans assumed that I had to work, when I actually didn't.

Meanwhile, I do have to admit that my Mom has gotten much better about this, it's other family members whom my frustrations are directed towards.

[IDrinkaRum]

The fact that all 3 sons in Mr. Rum's family got together essentially 2 weeks before May 14 and actually hammered what we were going to bring for food surprised the heck out of me. Normally, they'll call like 1-2 days in advance and then decide.

BiL#1 is notorious for calling us and saying "It's SiL#1's or whomever's birthday. You're invited. By the way it's in <city that's at least 1 hour away from us> in 30 minutes." And they wondered why we stopped accepting these "invites."