Being stuck in this god forsaken place!

[kiwi]

my BF got offered his dream job last year, the catch was the location that was open is in the middle of nowhere. Literally. Once I finished up my last job we couldn't afford for me to stay in Vancouver anymore so I have been forced to move to this town.

I am in the backwaters of northern BC in a town that isn't even big enough for fastfood chains or coffee shops. We have a starbucks inside a supermarket and a mcdonalds thats it. No Wendys, no KFC nada.

The nearest town is 1.5 hours away in summer, the highway is closed for most of winter because it's just too dangerous and snowed over usually from Nov- March.

OMG I can't say how much I HATE IT HERE!!! This place is awful! The BF hates it to but he has to stick it out until a nicer location comes up. It can take 8-10 years to get the seniority to get into the lower mainland again and they can move him at any time for the next 5 years. One guy got transferred up here with 3 days notice.

I haven't told the BF how much I hate it here because he is carrying the total financial burden for us and working like 60 hours a week minimum. I can't get a job because there is no work, three places in town are hiring right now and I am not a heavy machinery operator. However because we are only on one income it's not like I have a life of leisure either. God I just feel so stuck. This place is so small and close knit that most jobs are given to family and I am obviously an outsider so his workmates and their girlfriends/wives are trying to get me "in" somewhere. Everyone keeps telling me to get pregnant because thats what women do here to keep busy.... yeah no thanks

I am far away from all my friends that I spent the last four years making

Talk about being between a rock and a hard place, I have to be here because we can't afford to live apart but there are no jobs for me in this town! *headdesk headdesk headdesk. I really did not see my life turning out like this!

[Andara Bledin]

Yikes.

... Maybe consider learning some sort of craft you can sell online to make a little extra cash? At the very least, it'd give you something to do with your time.

^-.-^

[telecom_goddess]

Yikes.

... Maybe consider learning some sort of craft you can sell online to make a little extra cash? At the very least, it'd give you something to do with your time.

^-.-^

Oh I like that idea....you could do an etsy site or something. The one thing about small towns is they usually have SOMETHING you can do art wise I would think.

Do they have any kind of farmer's markets or a flea market you could participate in? Do you have any garden space you can cultivate? Does anything actually GROW up there

Sounds like a desolate place....not something I would like at all. Sorry you have to deal with that.

[MaggieTheCat]

I also think that talking to your BF about it would probably help. I realize you feel like he is doing more right now since he is working and you are not, but that doesn't mean you can't feel unhappy. Talking about it with him would probably at least help you vent your frustrations, and he might have some suggestions to help you stay busy.

I assume you are doing the majority of the household chores, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc? My husband has a "real" job and I do crafts from home and sell at craft fairs and anime cons. Since I don't pull in as much money and can basically work whenever I want, I also do most of the chores around the house. It works itself out nicely for us and my husband doesn't think he's contributing more, even though sometimes I do and I feel bad about it. He is very happy that I can stay home because he doesn't have to do laundry and I cook 4-5 times a week so he doesn't have to worry about meals, which is especially good on days when he works late into the evening, and he can take the leftovers to work for lunch.

[Sarah Valentine]

Everyone keeps telling me to get pregnant because thats what women do here to keep busy

That's fucked up.

[Gravekeeper]

That's fucked up.

I know *exactly* the kind of northern BC town she's referring too. "Fucked up" isn't quite the term for it. They're just very small, close knit, in the middle of the farkin' mountains and usually based around one specific industry. They're also real dead ends because they're just not large enough to have or require a lot of jobs.

[Boozy]

I think she's referring to people's advice to get pregnant as a solution to Kiwi's boredom as "fucked up". Which it really is; that's not a good reason to have children, regardless of where you live.

[kiwi]

I know *exactly* the kind of northern BC town she's referring too. "Fucked up" isn't quite the term for it. They're just very small, close knit, in the middle of the farkin' mountains and usually based around one specific industry. They're also real dead ends because they're just not large enough to have or require a lot of jobs.

Yes Grave thats the kind of town it is.

The fact I should have a baby to keep me busy is fucked up however.

[Ghel]

At least you have internet and (I assume) telephone, so you're not totally cut off from the rest of the world. I also suggest talking to your BF about it. If he's not completely oblivious, then he's probably already noticed that you're unhappy. He might need reassuring that it's not because of him. Well, not directly, anyway.

[kiwi]

Im pretty sure he knows how difficult I am finding this place, it's pretty hard when there is nothing to do and the weather is still bad (theres still snow on the ground) so I can't even really go out to much. He just doesn't need me whinging about how bored I am. He is chocked that he is stuck up here away from everyone he knows to.

He is trying his best to make it nice for me to, which makes me feel even worse because we don't have any extra money to DO fun stuff. Once the weather clears up we can hike but he can be called into work at any time so he is never supposed to be more than 30 minutes away from his work place which really limits us. This is a working town so any time he is needed he is expected to be avaliable and as many people up here don't even get to see their families except for holidays (most men are up here working alone) we are both told to "suck it up".

Thanks for the ideas, they have a wal-mart in the next town over so I am going to save up for a sewing machine or something. I have been reading constantly since I have been up here, I just get so frustrated!

Thank you for listening to my venting, I feel like a spoiled brat, I just wish I could do SOMETHING to contribute. I am good at housework and cooking but I don't want that to fill my days! I just miss my friends

[Gravekeeper]

I think she's referring to people's advice to get pregnant as a solution to Kiwi's boredom as "fucked up". Which it really is; that's not a good reason to have children, regardless of where you live.

Yes when you put it that way, "fucked up" indeed qualifies.

Having done age 10-18 in a small BC town, I know what she's talking about, and I wasn't even in the smallest of towns in BC. There was one north of us that's around the level she's talking about. Their students would have to bus in an hour every morning to go to school, because their own town wasn't large enough to justify one. But the highway was too dangerous to bus in during the winter some weeks. I'd been up that way a few times and it was depressing spending any length of time there.

[Boozy]

Mr. Boozy sees your BC mountain town and raises you one Northern Manitoba farming community.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Everyone keeps telling me to get pregnant because thats what women do here to keep busy.... yeah no thanks

If it's any consolation, it's more or less the same way in my "city." Get pregnant if you're a woman who wants something to do. With a member of your immediate family if necessary.

Or get drunk and show ya t*ts in one of our many bars, which often leads to the above.

And we're a city with over 30,000 residents. But we're in the middle of a bunch of bigger ones, so we have no real identity. All the good places to shop, hang out or have fun are a ways away.

[patiokitty]

BC mountain towns, especially the more isolated ones, do tend to be rather, um, insular. I've never lived in one but I do have friends spread throughout some of them...some are quite happy to be up there popping out kids, and others are bored out of their minds. Me, I've been lucky enough to spend most of my life in the Fraser Valley before picking up and moving all the way east. The smallest place I've lived in was Aldergrove back when it was a blip on the Fraser Highway. My parents, on the other hand, live on the side of mountain off of Westside Road between Vernon and Kelowna...technically they live in Vernon but the particular area is very insular and, well, sorta backwards. When I still lived in BC I could barely manage a weekend visit before I felt all 'hill-billied' out.

[kiwi]

If it's any consolation, it's more or less the same way in my "city." Get pregnant if you're a woman who wants something to do. With a member of your immediate family if necessary.

Or get drunk and show ya t*ts in one of our many bars, which often leads to the above.

We have one bar, it closes at 10pm. They had a strip club/nightclub but that closed down, the only other place open past 7pm is the supermarket and the "nice" hotel resturant.
I think Im finding it hard adjust mostly, if I was busy with work (heck even retail) I think I would have a purpose to my day and a reason to get up.... I am a total city girl, I like the country for a vacation. This city is UGLY to, everything is utilitarian or boarded up. Bahh!