"Straight" gays/bi-sexuals

[Greenday]

I can see where you're coming from, but as far as I'm aware the origins of Mardi Gras weren't to show difference, and presence despite that, but it's of religious festival origins.

Must admit, it seems to have evolved into something completely different...

Rapscallion

TnA baby! TnA...

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Yeah, Mardi Gras, or Fat Tuesday, is other wise known a Shrove Tuesday, which is the day before Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent.

Shrove Tuesday is the last day of excess, feasting, and partying until Easter. Hence the word "shrove"....it means to get rid of stuff. In this case, rich, fatty meats, butters, and other luxuries. Pancake suppers that churches have on that day are a throwback to the one last meal using up the last of the fat and butter.

Basically, it's a big excuse for an excessive party. Which is what Mardi Gras is.

We now return to your regularly scheduled thread.

[Skunkle]

I'm bi, leaning toward gay. I won't claim to be an expert on this, but I might as well toss my opinions onto the growing pile.

What with the past repressing of gays, they of course had to go underground. Within that, a sort of rebellion developed over time, a secret thrill in being sneaky and clandestine, and this pervades gay culture today. Bathhouses and cruising are still popular. I'm not debating promiscuity here - loads of straight guys pick up single chicks at bars every week and have one-night-stands. I'm specifically discussing a pervasive fetish of sneaky and secretive sex.

Out of that, further, develops - and, aside and on its own, exists - a fantasy of grabbing a straight guy and "turning" him gay by showing him mind-blowing gay sex. An addendum to this is the perceived notion, by gay and straight alike, that gay men are feminine and pouty and timid, whereas straight men are powerful and manly and sweat droplets of pure testosterone; I don't really get aroused by really feminine guys, either, but neither am I into testosterone factories. Similarly, there exists a fantasy with straight men of finding a smoking-hot lesbian (and, there's that addendum again, somehow lesbians are imagined as supermodel-level women) and "turning" her straight with your incredible alluring straightness and the awesome straight sex.

So there seem to me to be two fantasies making up this "cruising for straight men" thing - on the gay guy's side, you have the thrill of secretly getting it on with a straight guy whose partner/wife/lover doesn't know, and of the slight, hopeful chance of making him gay. These two would exist in varying proportions, depending entirely on the person involved. On the side of the straight guy, I see three factors. First and foremost is my opinion that sexuality is a sliding scale, and that many (but not all) 100% straight men are actually only 99.9% straight, or less. Second is, again, the thrill factor, of having a secret fling. Last but not least is a reversal of the "turning straight into gay" fantasy: these men may imagine that, in most cases, NSA (no strings attached) with women always ends with the woman's emotions getting superglued to him, and strings get attached. With a gay guy, he can easily go, "I'll go back to my usual women, he'll go back to guys, and there will be a truly NSA thing. Guys don't go 'oops I accidentally got attached' like women do."

Okay, psychological opinions stated. Note: I am not a professional or amateur psychologist.

Aside from that, the rest is just the developed code-talk of Craigslist hook-up and personals ads.
Drugs OK: Let's smoke a bowl to relax. In a very few cases, maybe Let's do a line, but it usually seems to mean weed, and specifically the way weed can help people relax and 'let their hair down'. For those who don't know, poppers are a simple drug that's been p[art of gay sex culture Especially at bathhouses) since the 70s, but is still popular with straight people too. It's usually amyl nitrate in a tiny bottle - "poppers" because, while some have screw caps, some are in one-use glass ampules that are broken open. Inhaling opens up blood vessels in the sinuses, giving a head rush. Used to see ads for these in the back of Playboy, usually sold as locker deodorizers or air fresheners, with brand names like RUSH. Popular claim was that they make an orgasm more intense.
Clean: Means disease-free. Same thing.
Straight-acting: I think most guys who fancy themselves straight aren't attracted to femmy gay guys. Or, more specifically, it's easier to relax and get into the sex when there isn't an attitude they perceive as "I'm gay I'm gay I'm gay I'm gay". This line means "you can relax around me, you don't have to fear that I'll be constantly reminding you of how gay I am." Remember that some straight guys' minds magnify gayness they see about 300%; a guy with a slight lisp may seem so flaming that they could burn a hole in the ground.

No mention of reciprocation, and it's usually oral. The "straight" guy may rationalize ONLY receiving head as "not really gay sex."

I personally never "got" hook-ups and one-night-stands, but that's just me. I have a bi friend whose entire sexuality seems to consist of... "I want a blowjob, right NOW!" He claims he doesn't reciprocate, and it's usually a very 'instant gratification' thing. When he wants a blow, he goes out and gets one RIGHT NOW, I guess. I don't know for sure. Craigslist and the local bathhouse, I think.

[NateSean]

Personally, I have a problem with married guys sleeping around with other guys. I don't care if they're suddenly gay, or if they've always been gay and are now discovering it. They can either stick with the commitment they made or they can get a divorce and be honest with themselves.

A huge reason why it's so hard for people to accept Gay marriages is people like this, who sneak around getting "discreet head" while their wives are away. You know, why would we ever consider the bonds of holy matrimony sacred when it's clear we don't respect it?

Not that it's the only reason people have for rejecting same sex marriages, but it's a pretty big cache of ammunition, you have to admit. We don't need to keep giving them more.

[Andara Bledin]

A huge reason why it's so hard for people to accept Gay marriages is people like this, who sneak around getting "discreet head" while their wives are away. You know, why would we ever consider the bonds of holy matrimony sacred when it's clear we don't respect it?

What if both partners, husband and wife, are cool with the hubs going off and getting blowjobs while she's out?

^-.-^

[NateSean]

That's fine. But I'm not the go-to-guy for it is all I'm saying.

[Skunkle]

I, too, don't care if there's an agreement, but I'm not a fan of married-when-she's-home, sneaking-around-getting-head-from-guys-when-she's-not.

I won't condemn others. S'not my place. I personally don't cheat when I'm in a relationship, and when I'm not, I've never been the slightest bit interested in one-night-stands. I DO like looking through the "Casual Encounters" ads on Craigslist, because some of 'em are comedic gold. I look through the ones for my town hoping I'll see some or other really straightlaced, stuffy guy looking for quick cock, and some of the wording used in ads is funny and/or sad. You'll frequently see ads with self-taken photos in a big mirror (with a flash flare blotting out 80% of the image) and ads with one photo - a penis, bonus points if it's not even hard - and something like "D'you like what you see? Call me." Uh, I can't really say I do, considering I'd prefer to see the REST OF YOU!! One guy shot a flash photo of his ween from the side, and the camera caught a kitchen in the background with the floor and counters covered in huge heaps of dirty dishes, glasses, food bags, drink cups, food packaging and garbage.

[Ginger Tea]

Some couples are together purely for convienience, the appearance of being straight for the family or puplic perception (in the case of Hollywood up untill the 90's). If a gay guy marries a woman and she knows upfront that its just a front and she is his 'Beard' then I have no qualms about what or where he sticks his cock.
If she has no idea he's Bi and sleeps with men on the side, then it's seen just the same as if he was seeing other women behind her back with the added bonus of "I didn't want X to know I was gay."

The guy in the OP, yes his terminology was a bit off, but he was probably trying to say he wanted a macho man who was gay not a straight man he could seduce and did not want flaming gays comming round.
He was/is after a guy who to the outside world was just a buddie round to watch the game with a 6 pack of beer in hand with the mindset of "If he doesn't look queer, they won't think I'm queer either."

[Mr. Anubite]

I'm not sure about the "twink" bit. I'm Gay, and I'm completely at home with who I am. That being said, I find more masculine men attractive. That doesn't mean I wish to be straight or that I hate feminine Gays (I am one myself). It's just how I am. While I disapprove of the concept of sex-through-advertisement, I can't blame the guy for trying to ensure that only the sort of men he finds attractive answer.

[Andara Bledin]

I personally don't cheat when I'm in a relationship...

It's not cheating if there's an arrangement in place. It's still adultery, since that only refers to a married person having sex with a person that is not their spouse, but cheating involves lies.

As for the guy's preference, it's not that he has a preference, which we all have, but that he seemed to harp on that he wanted a "manly man" and was a "manly man" more than necessary, which makes it look like he's ashamed of his own sexuality.

^-.-^

[Mr. Anubite]

As for the guy's preference, it's not that he has a preference, which we all have, but that he seemed to harp on that he wanted a "manly man" and was a "manly man" more than necessary, which makes it look like he's ashamed of his own sexuality.

^-.-^

Ah. That's what I was confused about. I was unsure if the OP was implying if all guys like hat are ashamed, but you're right. The Craigslist guy does seem to focus on that bit a little much.