"You're just not trying hard enough"

[Rageaholic]

Add this to the list of "Ignorant comments that make my blood boil".

It's bad enough when you're trying to learn or accomplish something, but you just can't seem to get it down. But the last straw is when some arrogant, judgmental know it all tells you that you're not "trying hard enough". My urge to sock them one rises when they INSIST that my "heart is not in it" even though they have no way of reading my mind. It's especially annoying if it's something I really do want to learn, but just happen to struggle with.

And even if "my heart isn't in it", sometimes you can't blame me. Like the whole job hunt thing. It's not necessarly your fault if they don't hire you, especially if you live in the worst state for jobs right now. And even if there was something you could technically do, you can't fault a person for not doing everything possible to make sure they get hired.

I just wish people would stop assuming that when someone struggles with something, that it's their fault or they are not trying hard enough. What comes easy for some is a struggle for others. And the struggle is bad enough without ignorant comments from others.

[KellyHabersham]

I remember getting comments of that nature when it came to math - admittedly I wasn't always great about doing my homework, but it was assumed that if I just "tried harder and paid attention in class", I'd do better in that subject.

[HotelKatz]

I dropped out of school because all the teachers were doing this. I eventually went back to get my GED.

[muses_nightmare]

I really hate this too. I get it about job hunting, and I am doing everything I can to find work. I'm good in interviews, I've been directly told this by people who interviewed me (I didn't get hired because I only wanted part time at that time, she did say that I would have gotten to job had I wanted full time). So don't tell me I'm not trying hard enough when it comes to finding work.

I sympathize with the math thing too, I don't have a head for numbers, I never have. I had a supervisor at the casino tell me I wasn't trying hard enough to figure out a pay out when I had been standing there for what felt like ages trying to get my brain to process a 75 to 1 payout on $13 or something like that. Sure I might have been able to figure it out if I had a piece of paper or a calculator, but we had to figure these things out in our head, and it's not like they came up a lot (it was a bonus thing I think). Sorry my brain does not do equations like that very quickly.

[Rageaholic]

I dropped out of school because all the teachers were doing this. I eventually went back to get my GED.

Yeah, when I started this thread, a few teachers I had came to mind. Teachers have a tendancy to think that way.

[DrFaroohk]

It's the same as that "no excuses" attitude a lot of people have.

"Why were you late?"

"I was arrested because a cop mistakenly thought I was a fugitive."

"That's no excuse!"



"Why didn't you show up for work on Friday?"

"Friday? That's my day off. no one told me there was work."

"That's no excuse!"

Some people....they just want a reason to feel good. And guess what! Bitching at others makes us feel good about ourselves!

[Amanita]

I dunno- I have a friend who is a real excuse-queen. It seems there is always an excuse as to why she won't even try to do things, or try to do them right.

She wants to learn poi-spinning, so I am willing to teach her. I even made her her own set of poi to practice with. But then she never, ever practices. "Oh, I'm lazy and forgetful!". And on those rare occasions when we do practice, she refuses to even to try to do the moves properly. I don't mean struggling with something, I mean- to do a move properly, your hands have to be in a certain position- otherwise your poi will tangle. My friend won't even try to put her hands where they belong, so the move fails, and then she goes on about how she just can't do it.

Or how she has owned a Jedi costume for years now, and I've lost count of the number of times I've shown her how to put it on right, yet she never learns, and keeps slopping the tunics on more carelessly than a bathrobe, then wonders why it doesn't look as good as mine. Again, she won't practice putting the costume on, she only brings it out a couple of times a year and forgets about it the rest of the time.

[powerboy]

I get that from my family on trying to find work. The thing is, my wife and I have been going to school, so we have studying, homework and what not. Plus, we have meetings out the ying yang for the paranormal group, we are involved in.

[Boozy]

Focussing on school I can understand, but your paranormal group sounds like a hobby. Maybe your family has a point about your priorities. Shouldn't a hobby take the back seat to finding a job?