You're so quiet!

[muses_nightmare]

I'm getting really sick of hearing this from people. I'm aware that I'm not particularly loud, but I'm not exactly whispering everything I say. When I don't have something to add to a conversation I don't bother to talk about nothing. If I do have something to say I don't mind saying it either.

I got this from a friend of mine the other night, we had been out with a group of her friends, most of which I hadn't met before that night. They were talking about things they did as a group in the past and I simply didn't have anything to add, a lot of the night was like that, there were one or two other conversations that I joined in on, but for the most part I sat back and listened. Then there were the conversations that were christian based, about dating and marriage and such, they actually got into a conversation about whether married women and men talk about their sex lives to eachother, it was slightly awkward, since I'm fairly certain I was the only one there who even had a sex life, and well, I don't talk about mine to people I've met all of once. My friend kept asking if I was having fun, and I actually did have fun, I don't mind just hanging out with people, and her friends are all very nice. I just didn't have a lot to say.

I also don't get why quiet is such a bad thing. I mean, really, should I be yelling and talking all the time because that's how people think I should be?

[guywithashovel]

This sentiment has been the bane of my existence since I was a kid. I've always been pretty quiet and stand-offish. I've gotten more conversational as I've gotten older, but I still tend to be the kind of person who doesn't say much.

However, I've also been told I have a calming effect on other people.

[Eisa]

I am SO glad I'm not the only one who gets that!

I'm also very quiet. When I speak, my voice is quiet. And I tend to listen more than I speak. Part of that is anxiety, but another part is just that I'm introverted and shy and that's just my personality in general. It's not wrong to be quiet.

[Greenday]

I've become a lot more extroverted in the past couple years. But I still don't talk a lot when it's small group or 1 on 1 stuff. As a result, I get told I'm a good listener and people find it easy to talk to me about stuff. It sucks when I get asked to tell stories from my past or something because A) I suck at telling stories and B) I just don't like telling stories.

[Racket_Man]

yeah I understand that line all too well

but there is a contradiction in that too.

in my work life I am expected to be extroverted. this include both white collar and "minimum wage" type positions. dealing with, interacting with and having intre-personal contact with co-workers is something I have learned to do. I have to handle phone work, inperson work, e-mail work, communicate effectively. etc.

BUT.....

in my personal life I perfer to be extreamly introverted. meaning I keep to myself and really do not make friends all that much (been that way since childhood). in other words I just want to be left alone. in groups (esp where I do not know anyone) I am the "wallflower".

[telecom_goddess]

Same thing here....very introverted and don't deal well with large groups of people. I don't say much and just want to shrink into a corner.

HOWEVER I have to become extroverted due to a monthly flea market I run. I have to do promotion/advertising/networking etc for it to function. I can only take so much of it and then I have to be by myself to recover.

This saturday is is flea market day. Help me

However I can be really extroverted online....this is stuff I mentioned in another thread. But yeah I'm pretty quiet and like to keep to myself.

[Rageaholic]

What's even worse is the idea that some people have about introverts being rude. Like if someone is not talking and keeping to themselves, they are being "rude and selfish". Or I dunno, maybe that's just the way they are?

And I get sick of those people who feel they have to put the quiet one on the spot. As if it's so funny to pick on the quiet one when it's really just being a dick.

[muses_nightmare]

What's even worse is the idea that some people have about introverts being rude. Like if someone is not talking and keeping to themselves, they are being "rude and selfish". Or I dunno, maybe that's just the way they are?

And I get sick of those people who feel they have to put the quiet one on the spot. As if it's so funny to pick on the quiet one when it's really just being a dick.

Absolutely! A guy my boyfriend worked with for a bit said that I was "creepy" because I was quiet, wtf , it's no wonder I don't like him. Sometimes I just don't get what people expect me to be saying especially if the conversation is something I'm either not interested in or don't have much knowledge of.

[KnitShoni]

Ugh. I hate that phrase. Last I checked, I was allowed to talk or not talk as I chose.

[blas87]

People literally panic when I'm quiet.

[telecom_goddess]

People literally panic when I'm quiet.

Oh I can only imagine!!

[blas87]

I've been a lot quieter than usual at work, mostly because I was ratted out for something that (who I'm assuming is the ratter) that person does all the time, shamelessly.

I'll just be minding my own business and all of a sudden, one of the guys goes "Blas, are you alive?", when damn well I'm awake and moving.

Part of it is, since the big blow up a few weeks back, I was "kicked out" of the group by the douchebag hipster. So much for thinking guys were less catty and fake bitches than girls.

Pardon the threadjack. But yeah, it's been interesting. Normally I never shut up.

[Rageaholic]

Here's what I always resent, when "well intentioned" people try to "fix" you and make you more social if you're too quiet. I've had people do this to me (mainly at social gatherings) and while I'd be perfectly fine just chatting with them, they cross the line when they try to force me to be more social and outgoing. And they do it in such a swarmy and cocky way that makes them look like the good guys who's "only trying to help". Did I ask for "help"? Then "STOP. TRYING. TO. "HELP". ME".

And then there's this idea that those who like to do stuff online, play video games, and have strange hobbies are freaks. Again, I've had people outright diss some of my interests and tell me to do X instead. Just because you don't fit a certain mold, there's something wrong with you. No matter how "nice" or "concerned" they act about you, they're still full of shit.

[powerboy]

What's even worse is the idea that some people have about introverts being rude. Like if someone is not talking and keeping to themselves, they are being "rude and selfish". Or I dunno, maybe that's just the way they are?

I hate that crap.

And I get sick of those people who feel they have to put the quiet one on the spot. As if it's so funny to pick on the quiet one when it's really just being a dick.

Oh I hated that. Luckily now that I am in a group, I am out spoken and not as shy. But there are times, when I am shy and just quiet.

[firecat88]

I get this a bit too. I'm a lot more introverted in real life than I am online. I have friends, mind you, but very few of them are anywhere close to my age (at school, I have more friends amongst the faculty and staff than I do amongst the students), and the only one that I actually speak to on a consistent weekly basis got hired by a place 2 hours away from here and, thus, I rarely see her except once or twice a month.

The rest of 'em? I wouldn't consider them as call-up-and-ask-if-they-wanna-hang-out type. Apparently, something is wrong with this because my mom keeps asking me why I don't really try to make friends at school. For the record, I have my reasons. But that's a rant for another day.