Tweet
two things.
ONE: I love my mom's side of the family, they are so awesome. however, i don't put up with certain kinds of attitude at home let alone from my child, why do you think i'd put up with it from you? and i already feel horribly horribly guilty for feeling this way buut
Second:, I do my best to respect my elders family or otherwise but dammit, its not always about you. I say this because in all my years being her grandchild i do thank her very much for letting me stay but it was always what she wanted to do when she wanted to. and it was very very difficult for her to think about someone other than herself or her husband my grandad but i never said boo until last year. Its an issue now because meemaw has gotten to where even if you politely call her on it she does this whole sob cry routine and causes drama for all, and I mean ALL. she will call her kids - my aunts and uncles, so and so put her on the spot ooh boo hoo. uhm i'm sorry i am not the one that did that. again i love my meemaw but uhm...i guess she didn't learn the don't assume/double check/try and cover most basis in life lessons?
Background: grandmother who lives about 5 hours away from hubs and myself and 8-10 from my mother. I live in LA, mom lives in TX. She had knee surgery scheduled this past friday 6/3/11 day surgery go in, clean out stuff, done. we agreed to this weeks in advance that we'd be getting there THURSDAY before the surgery to help her prep, and all that. and leave SUNDAY as we all have jobs to get back to monday and lives and past that she has other people that have volunteered and left their schedule WIDE open for her. END BG
I love my meemaw (my grandmom) I do. And I KNOW not everyone heals at the same pace. But when the dr very strongly advises you to keep your leg/knee elevated and stay off it as much as possible this does not mean hobble around the house in your walker and not keep leg propped up. IE first two days she did this and we had to make her lay down. mostly because guests where coming and she didn't want to be a rude hostess. Said "guests" were friends and family who wouldn't bat an eye if she said no she wasn't up to visitors but ok. her call.
SECOND, PLEASE PLEASE, don't assume we can stay, go so far into the assumption that we can stay that extra day and so forth and TELL people today (this saturday) and even set up plans AROUND this in front of us and present company visiting so that we HAVE to stay - end up leaving monday instead of sunday - to suit YOUR NEEDS.
This is an issue because if myself, mom or hubs says a word to her about it, we inconvienced HER, now she looks foolish having to RESCHEDULE/move stuff around etc. EXCUSE ME!? what about all the other people who came today, called and TOLD you weeks BEFORE that they had no problem and STILL have no problem coming to your house or taking you to theirs to make sure you are ok? These people have been your friends since before my mom existed so why not take them up on it?
Mom and hubs CANNOT STAY until monday and NOT suffer for it financially. we aren't in your situation where if a day is lost its ok as every penny counts right now and i say that because i had to pinch to make this trip and hubs was able to come last minute which is great but he feels useless now.
IE damned if I do, damned If I don't. I honestly want to tell her and let her cry but take the phone from her because she set herself up for it. and yes i feel horribly guilty for even feeling this way but i have appointments to return to as well when i get home, I CANNOT reschedule next weeks, not unless i want to wait another month.
yet of course pushing to leave sunday is somehow my fault.
(PS i know her reactions, she's done this many a time before and until last year i didn't start objecting because it didn't bother me, but it affects daughter now. mostly because the last minor complaint is that meemaw keeps her house VERY warm, we are in swamp land aka HUMID city, daughter is having trouble sleeping due to how warm it is INSIDE due to meemaw keeping it that way. again i would sweat it out and shower more and suck it up. not so for daughter)
SO, preparing self for sunday fun, and if we do end up leaving monday I don't think I will be planning trips out here anytime soon. NOT out of spite but that its going to take a while for her to calm down to want to speak to me
ONE: I love my mom's side of the family, they are so awesome. however, i don't put up with certain kinds of attitude at home let alone from my child, why do you think i'd put up with it from you? and i already feel horribly horribly guilty for feeling this way buut
Second:, I do my best to respect my elders family or otherwise but dammit, its not always about you. I say this because in all my years being her grandchild i do thank her very much for letting me stay but it was always what she wanted to do when she wanted to. and it was very very difficult for her to think about someone other than herself or her husband my grandad but i never said boo until last year. Its an issue now because meemaw has gotten to where even if you politely call her on it she does this whole sob cry routine and causes drama for all, and I mean ALL. she will call her kids - my aunts and uncles, so and so put her on the spot ooh boo hoo. uhm i'm sorry i am not the one that did that. again i love my meemaw but uhm...i guess she didn't learn the don't assume/double check/try and cover most basis in life lessons?
Background: grandmother who lives about 5 hours away from hubs and myself and 8-10 from my mother. I live in LA, mom lives in TX. She had knee surgery scheduled this past friday 6/3/11 day surgery go in, clean out stuff, done. we agreed to this weeks in advance that we'd be getting there THURSDAY before the surgery to help her prep, and all that. and leave SUNDAY as we all have jobs to get back to monday and lives and past that she has other people that have volunteered and left their schedule WIDE open for her. END BG
I love my meemaw (my grandmom) I do. And I KNOW not everyone heals at the same pace. But when the dr very strongly advises you to keep your leg/knee elevated and stay off it as much as possible this does not mean hobble around the house in your walker and not keep leg propped up. IE first two days she did this and we had to make her lay down. mostly because guests where coming and she didn't want to be a rude hostess. Said "guests" were friends and family who wouldn't bat an eye if she said no she wasn't up to visitors but ok. her call.
SECOND, PLEASE PLEASE, don't assume we can stay, go so far into the assumption that we can stay that extra day and so forth and TELL people today (this saturday) and even set up plans AROUND this in front of us and present company visiting so that we HAVE to stay - end up leaving monday instead of sunday - to suit YOUR NEEDS.
This is an issue because if myself, mom or hubs says a word to her about it, we inconvienced HER, now she looks foolish having to RESCHEDULE/move stuff around etc. EXCUSE ME!? what about all the other people who came today, called and TOLD you weeks BEFORE that they had no problem and STILL have no problem coming to your house or taking you to theirs to make sure you are ok? These people have been your friends since before my mom existed so why not take them up on it?
Mom and hubs CANNOT STAY until monday and NOT suffer for it financially. we aren't in your situation where if a day is lost its ok as every penny counts right now and i say that because i had to pinch to make this trip and hubs was able to come last minute which is great but he feels useless now.
IE damned if I do, damned If I don't. I honestly want to tell her and let her cry but take the phone from her because she set herself up for it. and yes i feel horribly guilty for even feeling this way but i have appointments to return to as well when i get home, I CANNOT reschedule next weeks, not unless i want to wait another month.
yet of course pushing to leave sunday is somehow my fault.
(PS i know her reactions, she's done this many a time before and until last year i didn't start objecting because it didn't bother me, but it affects daughter now. mostly because the last minor complaint is that meemaw keeps her house VERY warm, we are in swamp land aka HUMID city, daughter is having trouble sleeping due to how warm it is INSIDE due to meemaw keeping it that way. again i would sweat it out and shower more and suck it up. not so for daughter)
SO, preparing self for sunday fun, and if we do end up leaving monday I don't think I will be planning trips out here anytime soon. NOT out of spite but that its going to take a while for her to calm down to want to speak to me
Comment