My reaction to Mr. Rum's "new" physique

[BlaqueKatt]

It might be grounds for divorce, but the reality is that if she leaves him, and has no job, then the child will more than likely end up with a man who so far has not shown any interest in raising her, and be at the mercy of a family that has shown repeatedly they are not sensitive to her needs and safety.

depends on the state, I know Missouri has a clause in their divorce laws that states "a homemaker is an EQUAL contributor to the household, even if they do not work outside the home" meaning you can't pull the "i'm supporting them fully, they can't support the child financially" card

[Boozy]

In Canada, he'd be required to pay alimony and child support in a situation like this. Especially since Child Rum is special needs, which I'm assuming would make it difficult for Rum to work. Finding child care can be very difficult for autistic children.

[IDrinkaRum]

The city I'm living in has this: The Arc of Greater Prince William. ARC stands for Association for Retarded Citizens. It used to be geared towards children/young adults with mental retardation. Now it's open to children/young adults (up to 21 or 22 I think) with all disabilities. Right now, since school is out, I'm paying $95/week for 6 hours of day care for her. If I wanted to up her time there for approximately 12 hours (7 AM to 7 PM), I'd pay $150/week. It's fully equipped to handle people with disabilities. Also, if you don't know the code at the front door, you can't get into the childcare facility part of the building. She gets time to play with other children (at least one is in a wheelchair), and I get a little time to myself to do whatever. One of the cities we are thinking of moving to also have a chapter of ARC, but their version is just an administrative building to find information to help with your disabled child/young adult. The city has a respite facility, but it's more for emergencies/wanting a night of babysitting rather than what we have in our town.

I think my problem is mainly my depression. (I need to re-schedule with my therapist). And I think I need to get some medication. I am ashamed of myself and what I did last evening which was to basically threaten my husband and child that I wouldn't be here in the house come morning because I had had enough and was leaving. Forever.

Yeah, not one of my finest moments.

[Giggle Goose]

I think my problem is mainly my depression. (I need to re-schedule with my therapist). And I think I need to get some medication. I am ashamed of myself and what I did last evening which was to basically threaten my husband and child that I wouldn't be here in the house come morning because I had had enough and was leaving. Forever.

Yeah, not one of my finest moments.

I thought you said you were already on medication, Rummy? If not, no wonder you're having such a hard time! Don't beat yourself up for needing a little "balance through chemistry" as my mom calls it Depression is an insidious l'il bastard.

I'm also glad you were able to vent your frustration. You deserve to let your husband know how his attitude is affecting you and Child Rum.

[IDrinkaRum]

I'm on a boatload of medications for asthma, pre-diabetes, blood pressure, bone spurs, and low thyroid. I'm not sure if I want to add anymore to the mix.

Today was a little better. But not much. He can be very selfish sometimes. And he was more into his spin class than he was in getting home to get me & Child Rum up to her endocrinologist appointment. We ended up taking both cars and I got lost.

[AdminAssistant]

As I've said, I grew up with parents in an unhappy marriage. There were times that both threatened to either leave or kill themselves. They tried to keep that from us, but failed. Would you like to know what that can do to a child? To know that Mommy and Daddy could up and leave at any moment? To know that they would rather die than stay? Well, I can tell you what it does. It creates either an angry, bitter child who lashes out (my sister) or an extremely neurotic, clingy child who will do anything and everything just to make Mommy and Daddy happy (me). And if that's not enough, then it's obviously my fault, right? Do you want that for ChildRum?

Do me a favor. Next time you want to get into with Mr. Rum, to lash out and say those things to him, please make sure that it's not within ChildRum's earshot. Whatever is going on between you two, she doesn't deserve to be a part of it.

You need to work on getting yourself independent. Get on medication if needed. Don't count on Mr. Rum to take ChildRum to doctor appointments. If she's in some kind of childcare, that means that you have the free time to find a part-time job or some kind of volunteer activity. Take control of your life instead of wallowing. My mother would just wallow around in her self-pity, "Ohhhh, my husband. He's so awful. He's on too many pills. He drinks too much." When, what she should have done is dumped his ass in rehab, gone after his pill-pusher doctor, and divorced his ass. Take action, if not for yourself, then for your child.

Give her a better childhood than I had.

[HYHYBT]

I'm on a boatload of medications for asthma, pre-diabetes, blood pressure, bone spurs, and low thyroid. I'm not sure if I want to add anymore to the mix.

It's worth trying. Depending on... well, all sorts of things, but an antidepressant might even be MORE important than those, and types and dosages can be adjusted.

[Boozy]

I'm on a boatload of medications for asthma, pre-diabetes, blood pressure, bone spurs, and low thyroid. I'm not sure if I want to add anymore to the mix.

I can understand why you'd be feeling overmedicated, but I'd hate for you to rule out something that could really help you. Your doctor (and your pharmacist) will let you know if there are any anti-depressants that aren't contraindicated by your other meds. I'm sure that there are.

In the meantime, consider how much exercise you get. Exercise will significantly improve four of the six conditions you have (thyroid disfunction, pre-diabetes, high blood pressure, and depression). Exercise may be difficult because of the asthma or bone spurs, but if you take it seriously, your doctor may eventually be able to remove you from many of those medications.

[Greenday]

I'm not sure how throwing in anti-depressents will work with whatever you are already taking, but I know people who take them. They were hesitant at first, but once they started taking them, their lives got infinitely better. Shit, my mom had to double up on hers when I left for Afghanistan. But it worked!

[IDrinkaRum]

I'm just afraid that if I add more to my mix of medications, something might happen. One of my great-aunts died of what was deemed as a heart attack. However, we suspect the heart attack was brought on more from too many meds instead of anything actually wrong with her heart.

[telecom_goddess]

I'm just afraid that if I add more to my mix of medications, something might happen. One of my great-aunts died of what was deemed as a heart attack. However, we suspect the heart attack was brought on more from too many meds instead of anything actually wrong with her heart.

I hear you there but that's why the doctor and pharmacist are there to hopefully avoid interactions of that kind.

I too am on a bunch for diabetes/high blood pressure/heartburn and used to be on an antidepressant until I went off of it about 3 years ago. That was not fun. But that was before I started taking all this other stuff.