No Words....

[blas87]

To describe how much this upsets me.

I posted on CS that a girl I went to school with as a kid was killed in a car accident the other day.

The local news has a page on Facebook. I'm not sure if every news channel does this or if it's just a tease-thing, but they have a tendency to broadcast "There's been a big accident on X highway, all lanes closed", before knowing any real details, and what this does is encourages all the ambulance chasers (NOT lawyers, just local code word around here for Nosy Norahs) and people who stay up all night listening to the police scanner to start posting on FB or on the news site itself, speculating what happened.

Before any real details were given, it was automatically assumed that this person was drunk, probably hurt someone else, how many DUIs does this person already have, or they were on their phone, not paying attention, fell asleep, GOD PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID BEHIND THE WHEEL THESE DAYS, and ya know, no one driving at this time of night is sober, blah blah blah.

Some could say at this point, calm down blas, people speculate and generally, most people on the road at that hour have been drinking, if they aren't going to/coming home from work. Ok fine. Fine.

But.

When the details were released. That this girl, who I knew for many years, who got killed by driving at a high speed after a fight with her boyfriend......yes, got KILLED.......people were still making rude comments on the page about dumb people driving and people driving drunk. She wasn't drunk.

I wasn't online that evening to read the story, I thought I heard her name on the news but the fan in the bathroom is a little loud and I kind of just put it in the back of my mind, and I'm already leaving for work when the next broadcast is on and no internet on my phone.

Friday morning when I got back from work, my mom asked if I'd watched the news, and she told me that it had been this girl. I did hear her name right after all. Then my mom warned me, before you go on FB and read the story, beware that people are making a lot of rude comments on that page and the actual news site, and it's very upsetting.

I can't believe the things people are saying. Now that details have even been released, people are just blargle talking out their dumb asses about drunk drivers, dumb people, people who speed, etc etc.

This girl lost her life. Right now, people should have a little more respect than to keep speculating and making comments about her and what they think may have happened, especially when they have already been proven WRONG.

That poor girl. And I feel bad for her family. Her sister already posted a very mature, well written reply on the news site, and asked NICELY for people to quit making up stories and theories, and yet, they still are.

Wow. I hate people.

[Greenday]

I go to my local newspaper to check for news. Every time something happens, especially drivingwise, people start ranting about inexperienced drivers or drunk driving or both, regardless of whether either was even involved. Like some cop was hit and killed by some 18 year old. Everyone was jumping on it and was complaining that the kid wasn't being convicted of murder. Nevermind the fact that the kid was entering a highway and the cop was wandering around in the middle of a lane so seeing the cop and stopping in time would have been an extreme challenge for almost anyone. He's friend's of my step-brother and my dad was telling me about how the kid had wanted to become a cop. Clean record, never got into trouble before. Yet everyone was coming up with wild conspiracy theories even when the true story came out.

[Boozy]

When a tragedy happens, people will do anything to explain it in such a way that they don't have to worry that it could have been them.

A freak accident that could have happened to anyone can be scary, so people will start saying that drugs or alcohol had to be involved, because they don't do those things. It makes them feel safe again.

I'm not saying it's right, but that's why it happens.

[blas87]

I understand what you mean, Boozy. Thanks for explaining that to me. I hadn't quite thought of it that way.

It's still so terrible. I'm glad I don't know any of the people who wrote that stuff, because I'd have a bone to pick with them.

[Greenday]

When a tragedy happens, people will do anything to explain it in such a way that they don't have to worry that it could have been them.

A freak accident that could have happened to anyone can be scary, so people will start saying that drugs or alcohol had to be involved, because they don't do those things. It makes them feel safe again.

I'm not saying it's right, but that's why it happens.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I thought it was because people just like making up shit to stir things up and cause trouble.

[HYHYBT]

No reason it can't be both...

[Rapscallion]

I don't have anything to add except to say sorry you lost a friend.

Rapscallion

[blas87]

Thanks Raps, appreciate it. It's sad that this is person #4 from school days that has left us too early

[aurelemsrealm]

Yes, I think both Boozy and Greenday are right about the reasons why people make up their own conclusions anytime some tragedy like this happens. The same applies to other less serious negative situations, like workplace or family drama. The simple truth is that everyone has opinions, and far too many people like to express their opinions without really thinking about what they are saying. I know far too many people to whom this question applies, "Do you even listen to yourself when you talk?"

I often am accused of sitting on the fence because I tend to think about things before I speak most of the time. Like everyone else, I have my moments in which I just say whatever is on my mind if I have really strong feelings about a particular topic. However, those moments generally prove to be times that I wish I had given a little more thought before speaking my mind. That's why, when I can be more rational and logical about a topic, I don't always voice everything I'm thinking. After all, like the saying goes, it's better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. I have my opinions, but it's not always necessary or even wise to voice them.

Blas, I see examples of what you've mentioned all too frequently on various news commentaries and forums on the internet. I can't tell you the number of times I see comments going way off topic to blame whatever factor that has no bearing whatsoever on the matter being discussed. All you can really do is roll your eyes in disgust because that's about all such comments are worth. As Ron White said, "You can't fix stupid."

By the way, sorry for the loss of your classmate.

[Rageaholic]

Something similar happened to a guy I sort of knew (never met, though I heard he was a dick, still doesn't justify what happened though). He was critical injured after being hit by a car. A news article was posted and of course some douchebag commentors started ranting about how irresponsible cyclests were. How it was probably his fault because he was biking when it happened, even though the blame was clearly on the driver.

It sounds like these idiots live by the "just world" theory. In which the fault always lies with the victim. Because hey, they probably did something wrong. Something they'd never do, making them safe. Like boozy said, they want to feel like they are safe, so they assume the fault lies with the victim even when it's not true. It's a very cold and judgmental way of thinking.

And I echo what everyone else said, sorry about the loss of your classmate.

[McDreidel09]

Had the exact crap happen here. A girl I went to school with (she was a really nice and genuine person) had her car flip over and both her and her 6 month old baby died. Of course, her being 21, people assumed she was drunk and irresponsible. In reality, it wasn't that, though I never knew the real reason. I just knew that it wasn't drunk driving or irresponsibility.

[tropicsgoddess]

Sorry for your loss, Blas. It's scary how something like that can just happen out of nowhere. A friend of the family, ML died in an accident a few years ago. His car hit a highway divider head on and he died instantly. No drinking, nothing. Just a freak out of control accident.