making decisions for the group

[KellyHabersham]

*Not sure how to word the thread title, and I definitely don't want to make it sound like I'm unfeeling or anything, but I found this to be a little annoying*


Without getting into all the details - one of my co-workers recently experienced a death in the family, and someone else decided it would be a nice gesture to send her a bouquet of flowers. Where I had/have a minor issue is that it was decided that everyone would chip in with money to cover the cost, and there was no sort of group discussion about it......I guess a few people came up with the idea, and assumed the rest would be okay with it.

And while the actual amount everyone is expected to contribute isn't that much, there WAS (and still sometimes is) a point where I really didn't have money for extra stuff, and I wish people would keep that in mind.

[AnonymousKnight]

So don't contribute. Tell them you're poor as fuck. Send them a fucking casserole or some shit instead.

/thread

[Andara Bledin]

That's my opinion.

If someone doesn't consult with me and makes a decision to spend my money, they can cover my part.

^-.-^

[bainsidhe]

Thank goodness I don't work in that type of office, though I've heard horror stories. You don't need to plead poverty, just tell people it wasn't in your budget. It's one thing to tell coworker to contribute only what they feel comfortable with. Quite another to tell you to contribute X dollars to the funeral/birthday/wedding/baby shower of the month.

[DrFaroohk]

I feel your pain. Sometimes it's not as simple as just not paying. There's lots of office politics and shit going. I frequently have problems where it seemingly would be solved by a simple direct method, but no one takes into account the aftershocks.

If you get along great with these people, and they're underestanding, then just tell them you can't do it. If there's a bunch of dickwads who would look for any excuse to screw with you, you might have to suck it up and chip in.

[Giggle Goose]

Of course OP could just not contribute. However, she probably doesn't want to seem insensitive and feels obligated to chip in. I'd probably do the same thing for the sake of keeping peace.

But I've never heard of anyone just assuming that everyone will pay for a various function. It's not only rude, but unethical. Is there anyone you can talk to about it? HR, maybe? I know that it definitely wouldn't fly at my place of employment.

[boringscreenname]

Hmm the way we've always done it at my job, is someone decides to get whoever, whatever, and whoever wants to contribute does so. Like a month ago we had an employee who was retiring, and someone decided to get her a gift card to a Christian store.

We were never told we had to donate, but the organizer let us know her plans in case we wanted to donate. I wasn't able to donate for a variety of reasons, and there were no hard feelings about it.

[powerboy]

I hate that. IF you suggest that I have to contribuate, and I have no say in it whatsoever. Then guess who is paying for me. Thats right, you are.

[blas87]

This is a much different situation, but somewhat similar in regards to finances.

My brother took it upon himself to buy my home an Ihome for Mother's Day and pay for the entire thing himself. I don't know for sure if it was him or dad that decided this, but my parents have been hounding me for WEEKS now that I have to pay my brother back for half of it because I "agreed" to it. I never agreed to buy something that expensive for mom. And just about every single fucking day I go to their house, they harp on me that I owe my brother 60some dollars.

I HATE when someone decides to buy a large gift of some kind without telling others or buying it by themselves, then decide that everyone has to pay them back for it!

I'm guessing it was my parents who did it, because my brother is really passive and he only asked me once to pay him back, versus my parents who keep treating me like I'm fucking my brother over.