Going to the gym

[smileyeagle1021]

Now, I know a lot of people aren't on friendly terms with their gym. But I honestly don't mind working out, I don't really enjoy it, but I'm not one of those 'oh God, I hate exercise" people. What I hate about the gym is the emotions that wanting to go to the gym elicits.
I know my health is deteriorating, I'm not even 25 and already can feel the early warning signs of pre-diabetes, I know that if I don't lose at least 100 pounds I will die a young painful death. I saw what obesity did to my grandma and I don't want that to happen to me.
But, every single time I go I see all the young attractive guys there and all I can think of is "wow, I wish I could look like that"
And it bothers the hell out of me, that I can't just go and do something for my health, it always finds its way down to not being satisfied with how I look. Of course, I know that I will never look as good as those guys, I just won't, I don't have the build, I don't have the structure, I didn't win the genetic lottery.
So, there's the conflicting emotions, I want to live, I don't want to become diabetic or suffer kidney failure (I wouldn't hesitate to kill myself if I were told I needed dialysis), yet there's that feeling of hopelessness that no matter what I do, I will never look as good as I want. And that last point seems to always hang me up... that I leave every single time, not remembering what I've contributed to not dying an agonizing death and instead walk out wondering why I bothered when I know that nothing, not even plastic surgery, would make me look the way I want.
I know I can't possibly be the only one who gets their priorities fucked up and struggling to reign in pointless emotions, but damnit, if everyone else doesn't do a good job of hiding it better.

[Boozy]

It's funny, because I had the opposite reaction when I first started going to the gym. I saw all of these people in really great shape, and I felt inspired.

Having gone to the gym pretty much every day for about a year now, I've noticed that the people who look great are also there every single day. That's not a schedule that most people have the time for, but it does prove a point. Which is that genetics probably have less to do with their appearance than hard work.

Most of my fellow gym-goers aren't in phenomenal condition. Many of them are just ordinary looking people with some extra fat here and there, but go 3 times a week or so just to stay fit.

If your goal is achieving general health instead of looking perfect, you should pay more attention to the average person on the treadmill beside you and less to the buff guys on the weight benches.

[smileyeagle1021]

Boozy, my problem is that I don't like my facial structure, my shoulders are wider than what I want, and my hip bone is wider than I'd like, all things that I can never correct with diet or exercise... hell, I'm not even sure surgery would solve some of those problems (the curse of gay guys everywhere, we look in the mirror and we can judge ourselves on whether or not we find ourselves attractive).

[Boozy]

Wow, that's the first time I've ever heard a man complain that his shoulders are too broad. I've seen men at the gym work almost nothing but their shoulders in an effort to make them larger.

If it's in your price range, you should buy a few sessions with a personal trainer at your gym. You'd be surprised what you can change.

Personally, I've always hated my calves. They will always be more muscular than I'd like, but focussing on long-distance running has made that muscle appear longer and leaner. I've also added a bit of muscle to my thighs, which gives my legs a nice, balanced appearance.

[kiwi]

I think there are two issues here. You mention needing to loose weight because of your health and you want to look better as well but feel so far behind the people who are already at the "ripped" stage.

Your health needs to be paramount IMO, no point looking good in your coffin!
The gym isn't for everyone, I hate going, hate it hate it hate it.

I much prefer getting my fitness in two ways. I hike and run (I can't believe I run, I used to loath running with the fire of a thousand suns). Hiking on the weekend with the BF is awesome! We get out in nature, it's a full body workout the scenery is always changing and best of all you set your own pace. When you start out you pick easy/shorter hiking trails then they can get more adventours as you become fitter.

The running/ walking I do because it burns calories fast (I don't have 2 hours a day) and because it helps me meditate. I can't think about the last bitch who pissed me off I have to think about my breathing pattern and my foot placement/posture. When I started out I couldn't run more than 100 meters at a time. I would run on a track and could only make it 1/4 way around running then had to walk the rest of the way back to the starting point. Now I am up to running 8 laps in a row straight (it's taken me a year LOL).

There are also activities that are excersise but they don't really seem like it. Group classes for yoga or group sport activites. Rock climbing classes, hiking groups, tai chi or matial art classes. It's summer now so swimming not only keeps you cool, it's low impact, cheap and keeps cools you off.

I would work on getting the bulk of weight off then focusing on getting the exact shape you want.

[Andara Bledin]

Another thing to consider is that losing weight won't necessarily help with some of those health issues. Diabetes, for instance, is part genetic, and a lot dietary. If you binge on sugary foods, that is what helps to destabilize your body's ability to regulate insulin production. Just being overweight, in this case, is merely another symptom rather than the root cause.

Exercise, while a very good thing for very many reasons, should also be paired with proper nutrition, particularly if you think that you are at risk for certain conditions. So, along with a private trainer to tell you which exercises will help you achieve the look you want, it would be a good idea to also talk to a nutritionist to help you devise a diet to do the same.

^-.-^

[Imprl59]

Thats a problem for a lot of us that aren't shaped like we wish we were. I quit going to clubs years ago for the same reason. They are full of the young and the beautiful. One I am no more and the other I never was. A night in the club can send me in to a depression that takes me weeks to get out of.

I'm heavyier that I should be as well. A couple of suggestions that have worked for me in the past. Go to the gym when the working class is there either early morning or after five. There are a lot more "normal shaped" people there then. If those hours don't work for you how about any anytime fitness or similar place? I find them to be desolate outside of peak hours so its easier to go do my thing. Whatever you do avoid the gym during the 9 to 5 time period as most of the people there are going to be the people that workout all day everyday.

[BlaqueKatt]

the curse of gay guys everywhere, we look in the mirror and we can judge ourselves on whether or not we find ourselves attractive.

ah but doesn't the fact that your husband finds you attractive count for something?

I have never really thought myself attractive, but have been told I am. People are much more hard on themselves than others. And quite frankly, there is nothing more attractive than someone who is comfortable with who they are(confidence), and who takes care of themselves(is healthy). I'm a cyclist, I have huge muscular legs, when the fashion is "skinny jeans", yeah my ankles won't even fit in those, unless I make myself unhealthy by starvation.

[blas87]

I am missing the gym terribly. I can only go there on my days off, now, because I am so exhausted from working 12 hour shifts and don't have the time between shifts that I used to.

There was one day where I was honestly about to slap someone because I'd gone too many days without exercising, and I went really quick and did what I could in an hour.

[Crazedclerkthe2nd]

Smileyeagle, I can't totally relate to what you are going through but I remember when I first started going to the gym I had the same reaction you did to some of the bodies I saw...and I've never been anything close to overweight, I just didn't have much of a physique.

Results take time. I first joined a gym in mid 2005 and it took me at least a half a year of working out three times a week to start seeing a change in my body. I have a more muscular physique now, but I'm a smallish person by genetics so I'll never come close to looking like the 6 foot tall pro wrestler looking guys even if I do get ripped.

I adopted the attitude that going to the gym was more about my health than about my appearance and that the change in appearance was just a nice bonus. My overall health improved significantly not long after I started working out and has been excellent since.

It really helps to have a gym buddy if you can find one. My wife and I have been going together and she is diabetic and trying to lose weight. I know she does better with my support than going it alone.

Good luck to you.

[tabbyblack13]

Smileyeagle, I have the same problem too with gyms. Well I have a second problem with gyms but I won't get into that right now.

I've been on Weight Watchers since Sept of 2009 and I have been as close as 6 lbs away from my goal weight and have gained 20 lbs after that weight in. Losing weight is so hard. Exercising is essential to achieving your goal, so keep at it. You will get there but it will take time, effort, and will to do it.