Not being allowed to complain.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

This is getting to be a disturbing trend going around lately.

It's the one where if you complain about something, you're told that you're an insensitive fucker because some other person or groups of people have it worse than you.

The heat wave that is killing off people who can't take it? Can't complain because our fighting men and women are sealing with that heat 24/7 in a hostile environment where people are trying to kill you with guns or bombs.

Man loses a foot in a motorcycle crash? Can't complain because a soldier came home with his entire leg missing.

Difficult labor? Can't complain because a woman almost dies in a C-Section delivering quads.

Hit a rough patch and having a hard time paying your bills? Can't complain because families have lost their jobs and homes in the employment, housing and mortgage crisis.

Headache? People have brain tumors.

House burn down in a fire? People in the twin towers took a 737 in the face.

And it goes on and gets more ludicrous. You can't complain about anything anymore because someone else (usually an unrelated party to either of the two situations) has decided that your problems are somehow no important because your problem isn't in the number one, top slot for massive fucking suckage.

It's starting to get old. Almost makes me want to shove my foot up their ass and when they complain I'll tell then they cant because of all the children who were sodomized in the ass by their priests.

[insertNameHere]

Alright, I can go with being up upped if YOUR INVOLVED.

So two guys are sitting in hospital missing a leg, guy bitching about his motorcycle accident and a solider goes, "Fuck you I stepped on a landmine". or your the brother of said solider. maybe best friend, but I draw the line there you really have to KNOW the affected person before you can drop the other people have it worse don't bitch to me about it.

But im sorry, I know a guy who has had his neck broken, blown all to hell in Vietnam, has a pump surgically implanted to deliver pain meds, has a positive outlook on life and isn't woe is me and I never would want to tell him I have had a hard life.

Although I like to bitch it is something I'm good at and it helps to vent. If you don't like it nod your head and pretend to give a shit but don't actually respond. But I know what you mean because a few people have told me oh its not that bad, blah blah blah completely unrelated situation to me or them.

[Andara Bledin]

Another thing to consider: Just because other people have it worse that doesn't mean you don't have it bad.

Anyone who trivializes another person's discomfort/misery/misfortune in such a manner is just an asshole.

The only time this sort of thing is acceptable is when offering a "look on the bright side" comparison.

^-.-^

[Rageaholic]

It's the one where if you complain about something, you're told that you're an insensitive fucker because some other person or groups of people have it worse than you.

Yeah, that is utterly ridiculous that some people think this way. As if me complaining about a (hypothetical) broken arm is a "slap in the face" to those with no arm. Okay, having no arm would suck worse, but a broken arm is no walk in the park either.

Also I don't see how bringing up those with no arm is actually going to make anyone better. It's not gonna help those with no arm and it's only going to make me feel worse about my arm (knowing how much worse it can get). Is there any reason I can't complain other than some sanctimonious fuck getting offended that I dare think my problems are worth complaining over? (which is a ridiculous thing to get offended over).

[HYHYBT]

Everything you all have said... but only up to a point. If you complain all the time, then any tactic to shut you up is a fair move.

[Hyena Dandy]

During the recent News Corp scandal, I saw a posting along those lines (surprisingly on a liberal blog) saying that clearly its terrible, but with all the people starving around the world, how can we be concerned about something this trivial?

One, its not trivial. But two, being concerned about this is not mutually exclusive with being concerned about genocide or starving people. I can be worried about something trivial and something major at the same time. There's worry enough for both. Worrying that there wouldn't be an NFL season, for example, did not preclude my worrying about things like starving people and equal rights.

That was rambley, did it make sense? I can clarify.

[aurelemsrealm]

You are allowed to complain as often as you like. That's the great thing about living in the free world.

The problem is that most other people aren't interested in hearing your complaints because they prefer to dwell on their own complaints. Human nature is inherently selfish in that regard. All of us are guilty of that.

I have people who deflect my complaints all of the time with some "It could be worse, blah, blah, blah ....," scenario. I usually try to empathize with people who complain to me about whatever is on their mind, but a lot of times I have nothing more than a sympathetic ear and a blank look to offer. Frequently, I have no idea what they are really complaining about because my mind is already occupied with my own problems.

I agree that oneupmanship is rude and obnoxious. I try to avoid trivializing the complaints of others, but at the same time it is hard to fake interest when it doesn't exist.

The bottom line is that I complain to vent stress. It doesn't matter to me that no one else seems to care. Likewise, I'm willing to allow others to vent stress through their complaints. As a coworker of mine once told a customer, "I listen, but it doesn't mean I care."

[PepperElf]

It's the one where if you complain about something, you're told that you're an insensitive fucker because some other person or groups of people have it worse than you.

Cases like that are why phrases like "DIAF" are needed.

[blas87]

My only recent issue with this was when my family and people on CS would badger me about complaining about required overtime at work. Even in threads, people would tell me that I should be happy that my job was flourishing while others were tanking. But, we'd been on required overtime (including weekends) for well over a year. Before that, we'd been on it for a couple of years.

It got tiring.

[DrFaroohk]

By that logic, no one ever has the right to complain ever, because someone will ALWAYS have it worse.

It's also when just because one person doesn't see it as a bad thing they say you're being insensitive. It's like "oh man my life is hard cuz my job is so stressful" and then someone says "what stress, you're sitting in an office. I'm a fisherman I'd love to have a nice cushy office job!"

But not everything is stressful to the same people. Some people don't mind being financially responsible for billions of dollars in transactions. To some people, it's hard. Some people think working a physically demanding job where you're covered in sweat and feces is awesome. I personally think it sucks.

[IDrinkaRum]

I complain.

I complain about Mr. Rum.

I complain about my ILs.

Heck, I'll complain about my parents, sister, and daughter.

BTW, Blas, you can complain to me anytime!

However, I do most of my complaining to my stuffed Snoopy that I've had since I was 10.

[Lachrymose]

By that logic, no one ever has the right to complain ever, because someone will ALWAYS have it worse.

Well, no. There's ONE person who has it the worst of all.

[MrsEclipse]

Well, no. There's ONE person who has it the worst of all.

I'd sure hate to be that guy.



Here's a thought: For example, let's say my right knee was bothering me especially bad one day and it was the perfect day to go biking (I was planning a bike trip across the state before all the problems, and I can't ride anymore.) I'm feeling pretty foul so in the course of conversation, I complain.

The other person says, "Well at least you still have your leg and you can walk! So-and-so lost his in a motorcycle crash in Iraq or something like that."

"Well you should be lucky I only have my knee to complain about," I reply, "'cause there are a lot of people in the world who complain WAY more than I do."

Thank you and good night.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

"Well you should be lucky I only have my knee to complain about," I reply, "'cause there are a lot of people in the world who complain WAY more than I do."

Thank you and good night.

Wouldn't work. Because you're missing something from that conversation.

The other person says, "Well at least you still have your leg and you can walk! So-and-so lost his in from a [insert leg destroying tragedy here], and you don't hear him complaining."

You forgot to factor in the sucky personality of people like that.

Otherwise a damn fine idea.

[insertNameHere]

My only recent issue with this was when my family and people on CS would badger me about complaining about required overtime at work. Even in threads, people would tell me that I should be happy that my job was flourishing while others were tanking. But, we'd been on required overtime (including weekends) for well over a year. Before that, we'd been on it for a couple of years.

It got tiring.

I HATE THAT SO MUCH. People think I should be happy to have had my min wage job the fucking stress of it got to be too much, along with doing work on the side is why I ended up quitting. Yes, while I get I am lucky to have a job. I AM STILL A FUCKING PERSON and deserve to be treated as more than a slave with musings of freedom during my "time off" from work.