Being called out for embarassing things

[DrFaroohk]

You walk into a public bathroom. do your stuff. It's pretty gross.

The next guy who goes in has to walk out and make a big scene about how it stinks in there. There's usually pointing involved.

Seriously people, have a little common sense.

Another good one is when you have to discreetly pass some gas. Ok, maybe it's gross, but it's a natural bodily function and one you can't always go someplace private for. fine. Pffffft. gas passed. Some people may be a little "ewww" but they let it slide.

Then one douchebag has to be all "Sniff sniff....WHO FARTED? Did YOU fart? What about you? I'm a detective and I WILL FIND OUT WHO FARTED! WHO FARTED? YOU FARTED DIDN'T YOU! ATTENTION EVERYONE! DRFAROOHK JUST FARTED."

These are the same people who call attention to the fact that you took forever in the bathroom. Ok, that amounts to one of three things. 1) I had horrible horrible shits 2) I was masturbating or 3) I was shooting heroine. All 3 of those are not things I would want to be public knowledge nor are they anyone's business by my own!

Sometimes they like to point out how fat you are. Make sure everyone can see that the stripes on your shirt really accentuate your spare tire gut. Thanks a lot, pal! Glad to know that after all the courage it took me to get dressed and come out in public, knowing I'm fat and that the world is littered with people LIKE YOU, that someone is there to completely deflate what little ego I have left.

They also don't shut up. "dude I was on your history, what's this website called superhotload.com?"

"Dude, shhh."

"But...what's superhotload.com?"

"Dude I said shut up. Leave it alone."

"But that was so weird, I mean there's this website called SUPER HOT LOAD DOT COM I mean what could be on there?"

"Dude seirously shut up or I will grab the box cutter out of my desk and cut your tongue out."

"I just wanna know what super hot load dot com is, why can't you tell me? HEY DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT SUPER HOT LOAD DOT COM IS!? THIS GUY WON'T TELL ME!"

[HYHYBT]

You're right.... and yet, it does seem like a bad idea to read questionable websites and then hide out in the bathroom

[telecom_goddess]

You're right.... and yet, it does seem like a bad idea to read questionable websites and then hide out in the bathroom

Ya think?

[guywithashovel]

My dad sometimes like to do that bathroom stuff. Like, if you come out of the bathroom, and he wants to go in there, he might be like "Is it safe to go in there, or should I give it a few minutes?" He really thinks bathroom humor is funny, though. Always has.

When I was in my early twenties, I started gaining weight. One time, this guy I used to go to church with came into the store where I worked and patted my stomach while saying, "Boy, you've really packed it on. You need to do more sit-ups!"

[AdminAssistant]

Fiance and I will privately do a bit of teasing about the bathroom/gas. But it's 1) mutual and 2) in private. I would never do that in front of others.

[KellyHabersham]

The next guy who goes in has to walk out and make a big scene about how it stinks in there. There's usually pointing involved.

I have to admit that my siblings and I have done this to our mom if we've gone into the bathroom after she's used it, but let's just say that it's very rare that one can use the bathroom after her and NOT have to use the room spray. (we've tried to be tactful about suggesting she get certain......problems checked out by a doctor, and Mom refuses to do so)

[Eisa]

Eurgh. I hate when people do that. It's such a douchebag move.

[MadMike]

Then one douchebag has to be all "Sniff sniff....WHO FARTED? Did YOU fart? What about you? I'm a detective and I WILL FIND OUT WHO FARTED! WHO FARTED? YOU FARTED DIDN'T YOU! ATTENTION EVERYONE! DRFAROOHK JUST FARTED."

My son did something like that to me once, but he was only 5 years old, so I let that one slide.

We were out at the mall, and I had to let something out. I did it quietly, but my son either heard it after all, or maybe it was an SBD. Next thing I know, he's announcing to the entire mall, "Ewwww Daddy! You FARTED!"

[bainsidhe]

This thread reminded me of a childhood memory. When I was 9 or so, my younger siblings and I were watching a movie where they said the word "masturbate". Being inquisitive and not knowing what the word meant and also being 9 or so, I yelled at the top of my lungs to my mom in the kitchen. "Mooom, what does MASTURBATE mean?"

Mom: *gasp* What?!?
Me: What does MASTURB...
Mom: *sprinting from the kitchen faster than I'd ever seen her sprint before, then snapping in a whisper yell* I heard what you said, I'll explain it later.

She never did.

[Rapscallion]

She never did.

Really? Let me help.

It's when a daddy or mummy really loves themselves a lot...

Rapscallion

[Ginger Tea]

When mummy loves her cucumber very much

Nigh on every woman at work has made cucumber jokes and if they try and involve me, I get a gherkin and say "it's like this, but smaller."

[DrFaroohk]

Well its one thing if its a private family joke. It's awful when it's at work or in public on a date or something like that. then people just need to learn to shut it.

Sometimes it's even from a certain wrongdoing. I know that's a gray area, because you'd think "if you don't wanna get busted, don't do bad things". but nosy bastard isn't trying to uphold any set of rules or enforce any laws, he's just...being a nosy bastard. which is a moral failing and puts him in the wrong.

Saying things, in public or where it could get you in trouble, like....

"what's the funny lookin' cigarette you're smoking?"

"Hey what was the boss's wife doing at your house last night?"

"I hope this cop standing right here doesn't notice the fireworks in the trunk!"

Yeah, STFU!

[telecom_goddess]

Really? Let me help.

It's when a daddy or mummy really loves themselves a lot...

Rapscallion

ahhh well now I feel educated!

[LadyBarbossa]

This thread reminded me of a childhood memory. When I was 9 or so, my younger siblings and I were watching a movie where they said the word "masturbate". Being inquisitive and not knowing what the word meant and also being 9 or so, I yelled at the top of my lungs to my mom in the kitchen. "Mooom, what does MASTURBATE mean?"

Mom: *gasp* What?!?
Me: What does MASTURB...
Mom: *sprinting from the kitchen faster than I'd ever seen her sprint before, then snapping in a whisper yell* I heard what you said, I'll explain it later.

She never did.

Ahaha, that reminds me of a story about my older sister. Dad took her to the hardware store with him when she was small and she was looking at connectors and asked:

"Daddy, why are some of these called 'male' and the other ones called 'female?'"

" . . . What? They just are, don't ask again!"

She didn't go to a hardware store with him again for a long time

[Andara Bledin]

Sometimes it's even from a certain wrongdoing. I know that's a gray area, because you'd think "if you don't wanna get busted, don't do bad things". but nosy bastard isn't trying to uphold any set of rules or enforce any laws, he's just...being a nosy bastard. which is a moral failing and puts him in the wrong.

Why would you continue to hang out with such a boor as this?

Some of the examples you give would be people you can't avoid, such as random douchebags and co-irkers, but some of the other examples are situations that would only happen if it was someone you actually chose to spend time with. The first time or two, it would be there fault, but any time after that, you would be bringing it on yourself because by that point you've received evidence that they aren't going to change, so expecting them to not act like themselves is insanity.

^-.-^