"I am going to be the first truly cool parent"

[jackfaire]

*face palm* This little gem was said by a friend of mine who seems to ignore one little fact. It doesn't matter how cool you are how awesome most of us think you are. You could be the most beloved actor in the world and the guy everyone wants to be with or like. You will at some point do something your kid considers embarrassing.

You are their dad/mom that makes you an embarrassing entity. They do not see the hot actress every guy wants to get with. They do not see an action star or a guy whose job is to throw parties at bars to promote drinks or shares his love of the same movies.

The fact you and your kid are into the same things will at some time be a source of embarrassment. Don't believe me notice that your kid suddenly hit a phase where they downplayed the love of a cartoon that you commented, "Was awesome" and suddenly are getting into cartoons that you aren't that into.

At some point all of our kids thought we were awesome. My daughter thought I was the coolest guy alive especially since unlike her mom or grandma I could understand why the Fairly Odd Parents rocked and what made Johnny Test fun to watch.

As she has gotten older though she has focused more on things that she loves that I am not that big on. Even going so far that anything I like that may be targeted for an audience in her age range is suddenly an adult show because I like it.

It's not a bad thing either our kids finding us embarrassing is healthy. It's part of their setting themselves apart and finding the definition of their own selves. Usually from what I have seen the only parents that don't think their kids see them as uncool have stopped dressing the way they themselves did at 15 and start dressing the way their kids dress at 15.

IE. If when my daughter turns 15 and I stop wearing shirts with funny sayings on them and my blue jeans to wear whatever is big with teens 5 years from now. If I do go that crazy I hope the skinny jeans thing hasn't given way to skinnier jeans.

Kids there is a reason at 15 we went for relaxed fit jeans.

[guywithashovel]

I have a former coworker who says that she's going to be the coolest mom ever if she has a kid. I'm sure it won't turn out that way, but right now, I'm just waiting to see if she ever has this kid in the first place. She's 35 and still dates around, finding some petty thing wrong with every single guy she meets. She'll own up to this, herself, too. One time, she said that she can't get into a relationship because she either finds something wrong with everyone or because she just wants to see what else is out there whenever she meets someone and it starts to get serious. On top of that, she still likes living under the illusion that she's still in her early 20s (not that there's anything wrong with that).

[DrFaroohk]

It's easy to think you're gonna be a cool parent.

I remember when I thought about the future of parenting, and I said "I'm always going to listen to my kids, I'm never going to yell at them!"

Until you actually have a kid and you realize you can't discuss ANYTHIGN with them because they are the most stubborn, impossible to deal with people on earth. That they are "kids" is irrelevant here - they are still pigheaded, stubborn, sometimes stupid, and extremely argumentative. You will never get anywhere trying to explain yourself to a 6 year old.

So even I have found myself with the "That's how it is and if you even ask about it one more time you lose your XYZ priveleges!" Because that's the only way. You have to remember they're little more than pets at young ages. you can't explain to your dog why not to run into the road, and you cant explain to a kid why he has to eat his vegetables. You just gotta say "DO IT NOW OR I WILL GET ANGRY!"

[jackfaire]

Meh I have usually been able to explain things to my daughter and usually she gets it. But you have to pick your battles.

It's not even that stuff that will embarrass your kids though it could be something like you saying a show that they also like is cool.

[lordlundar]

A "cool parent" is a paradox. To be a cool person in the eyes of your children means you are not being responsible for their well being, which means you are not being their parent. Conversely, being responsible for the child's well being means at some point you are going to say or do something that is going to offend or anger them and remove any ability for you to be cool.

[Andara Bledin]

My mother was a cool parent. Not because she was a pushover, not because she didn't take care of us, but because she set limits and followed those limits and let us discover our own limits in other ares that weren't likely to cause us harm.

That, and she's not afraid to play games or watch tv aimed at teenagers.

A parent can prevent a child from doing something they deem ill-advised and still be cool. It involves a lot more work than, "Because I said so," to do, however.

^-.-^

[jackfaire]

A parent can prevent a child from doing something they deem ill-advised and still be cool. It involves a lot more work than, "Because I said so," to do, however.

^-.-^

Yes but did you never ever at any point feel embarrassed by your mom or say, "Stop it your embarrassing me"?

The thing is I think my friend things he is going to be one of those dads that when his kids think "who to invite to hang out at the mall" dad will be on the list.

There is cool parent in that "My mom/dad kind of rocks" versus "My mom/dad hangs with me and my friends all the time"

[Andara Bledin]

My mother never told me to stop doing something for that reason. My brother told our mom to stop embarrassing him, however.

And my place was the place where my brother's friends wanted to hang out. I was on the "too uncool to hang out with" list for being completely uninterested in being conformist while not conforming to the nonconformist crowd.

^-.-^

[jackfaire]

And my place was the place where my brother's friends wanted to hang out. I was on the "too uncool to hang out with" list for being completely uninterested in being conformist while not conforming to the nonconformist crowd.

^-.-^

lol I had the same problem that and every time I finally started to make friends my family moved. Kids wanted you to either be like everyone else or like everyone else but calling it being different.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

A "cool parent" is a paradox. l.

QFT.

I hear childless people say this and it's just so quaint and charming.

and by "quaint and charming", I mean "it makes me laugh my ass off at them, and not in a good way."

There isn't a parent alive who has not, in their clueless ignorance of not having the first idea of what being a parent is about, thought this of themselves.

[jackfaire]

I forgot this about the friend who said it but he actually has a daughter that he rarely sees and I don't know if he plans on having more kids. If he doesn't then he is right he will be the cool parent in that he will always be the fun parent his daughter will love him for no discipline but also never go to him when she is in trouble.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Ah. I see. Might ask him when he's planning on being any sort of parent, much less a cool one.

[jackfaire]

Ah. I see. Might ask him when he's planning on being any sort of parent, much less a cool one.

I won't cuz he doesn't see his daughter very often cuz her mom hates him. He is a good guy he just well I see my daughter every other week and so it's a bit easier to be a real parent. Still not easy cuz I want to do stuff with her which usually means going out and fun but I can at least do somedays where it's just a normal day for my daughter.

Right now he sees his daughter so rarely though that I can understand wanting to push as much fun into a day as possible.