The magic diaperchanging fairy

[DrFaroohk]

I prepare for the flames....

There's a growing trend I've seen. I know a bunch of guys and a bunch of girls who've recently had children. In many of the situations, one person wanted the kid more than the other. In fact, one parent basically begged the other to allow them to have this child. It's usually like this:

Pro-baby parent : Let's have a baby they're all cute and cuddly!

Anti-baby parent : yeah let's not, or we'll have to change a bunch of diapers, wake up in the night to do feedings, and get up early all the time. And forget about time to yourself because when you're not working or sleeping you're spending time with them.

Pro-baby parent : Oh it won't be that bad, and besides I'll be able to do most of it!

Anti-baby parent : Whatever, fine. Do what you want.

Ok, alls good and well.

But then, the pro-baby parent is suddenly in total shock and awe that they might have to change diapers or do midnight feedings! Flabbergasted that they have to get up early! Emotionally destroyed at the thought of actually having to SPEND TIME WITH THEM!

No, I'm not talking about people like me who just kinda wound up with kids. I did the deed and am serving my time and slowly accepting it.

The ones I'm talking about are like "OH PLEASE LET'S HAVE A BABY I WANT A BABY RIGHT NOW I CAN FEEL IT I CAN TASTE IT OH PLEASE LEMME HAVE A BABY!"

and then all of a sudden they don't want hardly anything to do with it. Fuck you people! You have any idea what a slap in the face it is to the other half of your relationship when you pull this bullshit?

[guywithashovel]

Honestly, if one person in the relationship really wants kids and the other one doesn't, then they should probably sit down and have a serious talk about whether or not their relationship is worth continuing.

Granted, I know that deals with a matter of the heart, and it isn't always easy to be rational about those things (I'm as guilty as anyone else is on that). But having children is a serious issue, and if the two people in a relationship have starkly different attitudes about it, it can breed resentment.

[DrFaroohk]

But having children is a serious issue, and if the two people in a relationship have starkly different attitudes about it, it can breed resentment.

lol tell me about it. We've learned how to deal tho because we have actually have a really good working marriage.

Rule #1 - we don't piss each other off! Hanging out with another couple over the weekend I saw that took every possible opportunity to piss each other off. The guy had to bitch about every little thing the girl did wrong driving, and every time she fell behind in doing something he was like "HURRY UP JESUS!" And her, realizing he's in a hurry, decides to take her sweet ass time to make sure he got good and hot over it. It's just like...why the fuck do you do that to yourselves?

Sorry went off topic.

[HYHYBT]

Just to be clear on things... are you talking about a situation where the person who so badly wanted the baby in the first place wants to do hardly any of the work once it arrives, or are you including also those who don't feel they should be doing pretty much all the work all the time just because they wanted it more?

[DrFaroohk]

It's actually less about the doing and more about the attitude. Basically if you're gonna make a huge decision for a relationship, regardless of whether it's a kid or not, any type of huge decision, and the other has vocalized their opposition but is overridden, then basically they'd better not ever bitch about it. It doesn't mean you have to change every diaper, but you'd better be happy about the ones you do change.