Your Failure to Plan is a Pain in My Ass

[anakhouri]

I never thought of myself as a Type-A personality, but I guess I must be, because if someone else mentions doing something with us, I would like to know the plan more than an hour in advance. Part of this is having a child, and part of it is just me liking to know what is going on. I've always been pretty organized and efficient.

Husband has some friends, couples with children, who are sometimes in the area. This weekend is one of those weekends. Friend called Husband earlier in the week to say that he and his family would be in town, let's do something Sunday. Great! No definite plans are made but sounds fun, right?

I got an appointment for a CT scan today, Sunday, in the morning (did you know hospitals do scans on weekends? I didn't). I called Husband and asked him to clarify with Friend what the Sunday plan is, so I can reschedule if I have to. Friend has no plans. Friend will be in town with his family, but they have no plans. OK, I keep the appointment. I get back today just before noon and ask what's going on.

Nothing. Friend still has no plans. They procrastinated so much that Friend's mom, who came into or town just to see him and his family, left because she couldn't wait around for them to decide any longer. When Husband called they were just meandering out the door to have lunch. We were already eating (Khan gets up early so we eat lunch early). Were they planning to go to the zoo? The aquarium? Walmart? No idea.

Frustrated, Husband told them to call us whenever they finished doing whatever they eventually were going to do, because he had to go to the lab, and maybe we could have dinner. I'm not counting on it.

I don't get these people. They have kids too- don't they have to make plans in advance? We have to plan things we do with Khan so we can do them when he is in his best mood (morning), we eat dinner at the same time every day, etc.

And it's not just this friend, he has two other friends that do this too!

I mean, if you're incapable of making plans in advance, fine. But don't call us and act like you have and want to spend time together when you haven't! Just don't tell us you're even in town if you can't make decisions more than an hour in advance.

Grrrr.

[LexiaFira]

oh that burns me just reading it.
alot of parents do that around here. I guess thats fine for them until school comes around? But for some of us a good schedule going NOW helps not just the child but the parent as no plans makes for too much chaos in the long run no steady bed time or eating times, and no sleep.

And yet somehow these random schedule parents are doing fine? I'm with you on the no way part.

[Eisa]

Eurgh. I hate that. It's one thing to make last-minute plans that are like "hey you doing anything? Wanna go do something now?" But when you have to set aside the whole fucking day 'cause they can't get their ass in gear...I hate that so much. I imagine it's worse with kids around, too.

[LadyBarbossa]

Ah yes. These people are also known as Flakes. Had an entire weekend fucked up because of one person. Simply put, just stop inviting these types of friends to anything, and don't take their invites seriously, either. They clearly don't value your time and in turn, you.

[blas87]

I am so glad I got rid of my ex bf. Now I no longer have to worry about him ditching out at the last minute on plans, or rapidly changing them to something completely different as I call him to tell him I'm ready to come get him.

After all that, I'm never again lowering myself to the frienship of people who think so little of others that they can't keep plans or promises, or that they don't feel they have to abide by a daily routine or schedule because it's not how they "roll" and they prefer everything to be spontaneous.

[kiwi]

I have a few friends like that. I don't want to ditch them because when we DO hang out I have lots of fun.

However I no longer hold off other plans because of them. If they want me to go out on Saturday I still carry on as if my Saturday was free and fill it with stuff I need to get done but that I can drop if they DO turn up (it's actually a good way for me to get all those jobs done that I never get around to).

I also limit my time with them that day. If they want to go out in the morning, I line something else up for say 1pm. If they don't turn up until noon.... too bad for them I still leave for my other activity at 1pm without them and if they say the afternoon I will go out for brunch with friends getting back a few minutes before they arrive. That way I am never left in limbo.

Just 2 weeks ago I had drinks organised for my birthday and the day before 3 of my flake friends bailed. So I called up the other 4 and asked if they could go out tonight instead and they could so I cancelled drinks for the next day. Man was one of my flake friends PISSED off when I dared to cancel. Even though she said "I probably can't make it, I won't know until an hour before" somehow I was the bad guy!
I won't be wasting anymore of my time with her. I only invite her to group events anyway where if she bails it doesn't matter.

[Android Kaeli]

The majority of the time when I go out with friends, we have it planned on where we're going, when we're going to meet up, and what we're doing afterwards. It doesn't hurt that I actually work with most of them anyways, so they know if they bail they won't hear the end of it at work.

Then again, the only problem I have with them is that I can get to where we are to meet, they don't show up for almost an hour later then planned.

[DrFaroohk]

Randomness...unplannedness....volunteeringness!

I hate it all! People lollygaging and fucking up your day.

Even a step further - sometimes I specifically warn people about stuff, and they ignore it anyway and then expect me to have some sort of role in the cleanup. I don't fucking think so. - The whole point of me giving you that warning to was to prevent my involvement in any further activities, so screw off!

[Rageaholic]

That's annoying, especially if they don't even call to let you know they can't make it (making you think they're just running late).

Even more annoying are those who make spontanious plans and don't consider that you have other things going on. They get pissed at you just because you happened to have other plans (even if it's just watching TV lol). I've even had it where we planned on doing one thing and ended up at one of their friends house. We would have left, but we didn't take seperate cars.

[GameGirl]

I am a Type A control freak. I admit it.

This sort of lollygagging and time wasting drives me absolutely stark raving mad. Have a plan and stick with the plan, and if you're going to be late (or not make it at all) call me and let me know so I can get on with my life. It isn't rocket science.

[Andara Bledin]

I am a slacker, terminally tardy to everything, and notoriously waffly about what I want to do, and even I hate this sort of thing.

If you make a plan, make a plan and then stick to it. And if you're not planning to make a plan, own up to it!

^-.-^