Tantrum-throwing kid

[Peppergirl]

I was at Aldi (grocery store) today. There was a family that consisted of early 20-something parents, a woman who looked to be a little older than me (grandma, I assume) and a kid of about 3. The kid was in the cart.

They had a pretty full cart. The kid was actually sitting in the bigger area of the cart and was surrounded by food items.

For some reason, the kid decided she wanted to open up some frozen food thing that looked like it was cheese sticks. I didn't have my glasses on, so I couldn't really tell exactly what it was...but I could tell it wasn't anything that could be consumed in the cart.

The family began to take it away from her, and she threw a holy fit over it. They kept moving the item around the cart, and she kept grabbing it back and screaming. Loudly.

After a couple of passes at this, the mother finally said "Here, honey. Here's my cell phone", and proceeds to hand her a fairly expensive looking android-type phone to play with.

The kid shut up and began to play with the phone.

I guess I'm of two minds here: Part of me feels like it was shitty parenting by giving in to the kid, but part of me was grateful that the shrieking stopped.

I remember my youngest throwing occasional fits like this and I'd generally take him outside the store if I had to correct him more than once. I do, however, remember getting desperate a couple of times and giving in to him when it was just he and I in the store and I couldn't leave. I consider myself extremely lucky that I always had a great support system of family and sitters and rarely had to tote my ADHD son around on errands.

What do you guys think? My personal opinion is that, since she wasn't alone, one of them should have removed the child and let the others attend to checking out. (It was a gorgeous day) I would have been more sympathetic if she had been alone and had to face the tough decision of letting her throw her fit -versus- giving in to her in order to shut her up.

It also bears noting that it was enough of a tantrum that people were stopping and staring, and some were even shuddering at the ear piercing screams.

[bara]

Kids= The ultimate form of birth control

[Boozy]

They could have avoided the whole situation by bringing along a few of the kid's favourite toys.

Toddlers do not find grocery shopping fascinating. Intellectually curious young children aren't going to sit there, unmoving and staring into space, while their parents shop.

Better yet, why bring three adults along for a shop? Why did one of them not stay home with the toddler to begin with?

[Lace Neil Singer]

Better yet, why bring three adults along for a shop? Why did one of them not stay home with the toddler to begin with?

That's what I was thinking. If they were going elsewhere after the shop together, then why not just have grandma take little Cznoflayke to the park while the others shopped? In Orange Bag, I am always seeing whole families go and do the weekly shop, usually with one or two kids shrieking in chorus. This bugs me as just a few minutes down the road, there is a beautiful park. It would be a lot less stressful to both parents if Dad took the kids there while Mum shopped.

[HYHYBT]

First step: Take the KID out of the buggy, or put him in the seat where he's supposed to be. Don't play a peek-a-boo type game with him by moving the cheese sticks around obviously within his reach.

[DrFaroohk]

I take my kids to the store all the time, but they're really well behaved and the store people love to see them!

Sometimes you have to take them with you or they'll never learn. And sometimes people need to accept that kids yell and kids might be at grocery stores and either learn how to deal or shop online.

However, if your kid has some sort of serious PROBLEM...like a real serious PROBLEM....it's not fair to me or the other shoppers to have to deal with that.

Like if your kid just uncontrollably screams non-stop for 20 minutes. Not a tantrum, not a bad day, but just uncontrollable tourettes freak out - Leave him at home! If your kid can't help but shit all over the place and paint it on his face...leave him at home! If your kid is prone to cutting himself and chanting in tongues...LEAVE HIM AT HOME!!!!!!!!

[Peppergirl]

. It would be a lot less stressful to both parents if Dad took the kids there while Mum shopped.

Better yet, why bring three adults along for a shop? Why did one of them not stay home with the toddler to begin with?

I've never understood this myself. I absolutely detested taking the kids with me when I had to run errands, even though my older one was generally pretty well behaved.

I only took them as a last resort. I always left them at home with their dad, or asked a family member to watch them while I shopped.

[anakhouri]

Luckily this has never happened to me, and I have to take Khan shopping almost every week because the Husband works so much (we live hours away from family and friends). For some reason Khan likes grocery shopping. I usually buy him a little treat and give it to him after we check out for behaving so nicely.

If there was more than one adult, one of them should have taken the kid outside. Moving around the item the kid wanted was not going to help. Kids are not like dogs, they know that is something can't be seen, it still exists.

But then, I also figure the parent will have to deal with the consequences of giving in, not me, so if they want to reward bad behavior I don't care as long as the kid shuts up.

[bara]

Back before you had to worry about kidnappers all the time my dad would take me and my brother grovery shopping all the time.

He had a list. Ripped it in half. And then took his leisurley time while my brother and I busted our little butts to fill the list as fast as we can so we could get a bag of cookies or something.

Good parenting there. Instruct us to get whats on sale, how to make sure we got what was on sale and to stick to the list. Although dad could always be found where he had a clear view of the front exit doors. Gorcery shopping could be done in less than fifteen minutes.

[DrFaroohk]

Also back before the world was infested with kidnappers, I used to sit in the car by myself for incredibly long periods of time...honestly don't see why it's a major issue. Altho I live in a pretty rural area. But I've been known to park right in front of the front doors at the Circle K to run in and grab something real quick.

[Andara Bledin]

First off, the world isn't "infested with kidnappers." Kidnapping isn't much more per capita than it has always been. We're just more aware of it.

As for why you don't leave kids (or pets) alone in vehicles, it has a whole hell of a lot more to do with not boiling/broiling your dependents than keeping them from being snatched, though that is still a concern.

^-.-^

[tropicsgoddess]

My mom always took me and my sisters out on errands, she made sure we kept ourselves entertained by having the three of us bring a toy or two.

[HYHYBT]

As for why you don't leave kids (or pets) alone in vehicles, it has a whole hell of a lot more to do with not boiling/broiling your dependents than keeping them from being snatched, though that is still a concern.

That depends on the weather.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Back in ye olde times, the media didn't have the same freedom they do now, so in cases of child abduction and/or murder, there wasn't nearly as much detail as there is in media now. Also now, we have the internet so the information is out there and available to everyone. This means that a lot of parents are extremely paranoid about their kids being snatched up by Pedobear if they let them alone for one second.

It's unlikely to happen; if it happened as much as people think, it wouldn't be news cuz it would be commonplace. Sure, there is a small risk, but kids are in fact far more likely to be hurt or abused by their own family or people they know, such as neighbours, than they are to be abducted by Mr Stranger.

Obviously, I'm not saying that parents shouldn't protect their children, but there's common sense things like telling kids about stranger danger and inappropriate touching, and there's paranoia like not letting them out alone or leaving them anywhere for five minutes. Weirdly, a lot of people who are paranoid about leaving their kids in the car while they go and pay for petrol are often the same people who'll happily leave them in the shop alone while they go and fetch a forgotten purse or credit card. You know, cuz child molesters do actually look just like Pedobear, and would be seen straight away if they entered the shop.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

A few thoughts...

I have left my kid in the car twice. Once when it was raining so hard I nearly needed scuba gear to go into the post office. It was cold and I was wrangling a huge box. The other time she was asleep in her seat on a chilly, dark day. Both times I could see her through the glass fronts of the buildings and she could see me. So arguably, she was still being supervised. I'd never leave her otherwise, she could get into trouble in a parked car. She could get out and wander where cars are going. She could fool around and put the car in gear and set it to rolling. A creep might come by. She could put her finger in the lighter. Anything could happen.

Handing a kid a smartphone or an iPod or something is not "giving in." It's an age appropriate way to divert a tantrum. Distract the kid with something shiny. I carry a "fun bag" along with me most times that has crayons and coloring books in it, and I also have a little satchel with a VeTek in it (I don't know if I spelled that right). Sometimes, though, I'm out running an unplanned errand on my way between destinations. So age appropriate games on a Droid or an iPod (and yes, they exist, even for this age group.) are a Godsend.

I could take my kid to a white napkin sort of restaurant even when she was tiny. Yes, she had a few (a VERY few) moments where I had to remove her. But for the most part, I could hand her an iPod and not hear a peep out of her all evening. She could handle and iPod touch when she was three better than I can right now. No lie. Playing with a Droid? No problem. Hook her up with some Angry Birds or Cut the Rope and we're good. She just turned six, but she knows her way around some tech. This is because we've never treated her like she was too young for it.

Don't underestimate kids.

If kids don't go out with their families, the families don't learn to manage them in public. And the kids don't learn how to manage themselves in public. A screaming kid in a grocery store is a reality of life. Deal. A screaming kid in a theater, a restaurant, or a movie house, you have a right to be annoyed. Context is everything.