"Wow that's really sad"

[jackfaire]

If I had said any of the following,

"I am going to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with my family even though I can't stand them and they suck because hey it's the holidays"

"I am going to watch the Football game"

or any variation of that my boss would have said, "That sounds awesome and like a lot of fun enjoy" (Yes even the part of having Thanksgiving with people I hate"

But because I excitedly found out a new Zelda game is being released the same week as Thanksgiving my big Four day weekend and I got all excited cuz I preordered it and plan on spending the weekend playing my boss replied to my plans with,

"Wow that's kind of sad"

Really it's automatically sad that I am doing what I want to do for the holidays? So if I forced myself to do one of the many activities that I don't want to do that would make me miserable and sad then you would say, Awesome have fun, but I get "that's sad" if it's something I would enjoy?

Honestly it's not the first time I have gotten it either but usually when I hear "that's sad" it's from people that didn't hear me excitedly talk about something I love that I get to do rather it's from people who hear "I am not spending the holiday with my family" and assume that I like them have a wonderful family that is a joy to be around and must be very sad to be missing out on that.

When I explain to them that my family is either nuts (my older brother) always eating over at her in laws (younger sister), Not talking to anyone in the family (little brother), or off with her inlaws (my mom and her husband)

Most people then get it. Some still think it's sad because they don't understand the difference between having a family to spend the holiday with and not getting to versus not having a family to spend the holiday with and having other plans.

For the most part though even their "Wow that's sad" sounds more like pity and less like judging me.

It bothered me the way my boss said it because she didn't say "That's sad" In a "I feel bad for you" kind of way. She said, "That's sad" in a "god why are you so pathetic" kind of way.

[SkullKing]

All the worse when it comes from your boss, or authority figure

[HYHYBT]

How about a "that's sad" that means "I'm sorry your family is so awful?"

Spending four days playing a new Zelda game *does* sound fun.

[AdminAssistant]

Fiance's being a bit sulky that I'm 'making' us go home for Christmas instead of letting him hole up for three days playing the new Star Wars MMO. Our families are both crazy, but there's no way I wouldn't spend Christmas with them. (This is not a critique of your situation, btw jack.)

[Andara Bledin]

It bothered me the way my boss said it because she didn't say "That's sad" In a "I feel bad for you" kind of way. She said, "That's sad" in a "god why are you so pathetic" kind of way.

I've seen people do this shit before.

I usually counter with asking them what they'll be up to and then asking them why the other person, who is going to be happy during their activity, is any sadder than they are.

Some people still can't manage to understand that there are a lot of people who like playing video games and who find enjoyment in doing that as opposed to, say, sitting in a room full of people they don't get along with or spending the weekend in front of the TV watching sports.

^-.-^

[MaggieTheCat]

I remember one co-worker who I used to work with, who was from Germany. Most, if not all of her family was across the pond so she didn't get to see them often. I found this out when I asked her how her Christmas was and she said she spent it with friends instead of family because she couldn't afford to go see her family. I replied with something like, "Oh, that's nice that you had friends to spend it with, and then you didn't have to deal with annoying relatives!"

Okay, I admit it was maybe a bit tactless. She gave me a funny look and said something about wishing she could have seen her family instead.

Anyway, my point is, some people (like Jack, and my husband and I) don't particularly like spending time with family, especially holidays because people tend to get a little nuts around the holidays. Especially when you get people who don't necessarily like each other together for the holidays. My two brothers are on speaking terms but they're not exactly overly friendly toward each other. My mother always comments on this and says "it's so sad" that my brothers are so distant with each other and how it's so disappointing to see them that way. And yet she always insists on them getting together for Christmas every year, and every year she gets upset about it.

This will be the second year that my husband and I have not gone to see our families for either Thanksgiving or Christmas. Last year it was awesome and I'm expecting it to be equally awesome this year. We will have a big Thanksgiving dinner at our house and invite over friends in the city who don't have family or anyone else to spend the holiday with. It's very laid back. And we will probably play video games or pen and paper RPGs or something over the Christmas holiday.

[blas87]

Thanksgiving isn't so bad now that we don't include people from my mom's side of the family (most of the time anyway). If it's just the four of us and our loving pets, we're golden.

And it looks like there's a certain special game that day. Bonus fun.

[Peppergirl]

I work on Christmas and Christmas Eve, but I have the ability to do so from my parents house in FL. Its nice and warm, and I have an excuse when my mom tries to drag me to midnight mass!

I love my family dearly, and we are usually dead slow on Christmas, but it's really nice to have the work to fall back on when they inevitably start getting on my nerves.

[AdminAssistant]

And it looks like there's a certain special game that day. Bonus fun.

Yeah, wherever we are, we'll definitely have to have access to the Packers/Lions game.

[protege]

I had several people do the "that's sad" thing last year when I mentioned my plans for New Years. What usually happens, is that my parents go out, my brothers go out, leaving me alone. I don't have many friends left in this town--of those who still live here, they're all too busy and I rarely hear from them. To me, New Years is just another day. Instead of watching that stupid ball drop, I'm going to do what I've done every year since 2001. That is, I'm going to enjoy some wine, build models, and watch Steve McQueen flicks.