Pushing me

[DrFaroohk]

So we're apparently STILL not done with the new house...every time I think we're done with stuff, there's another whole room of full shit it turns out we have to move out to our in-laws.

Not only that, but apparently now we're staying elsewhere for the weekend, WITH the kids, with zero entertainment to occupy them, so the in-laws can get even MORE of their shit out.

Then after that, we get to move out AGAIN so someone can come in and paint the downstairs rooms. They're fine!

Then we have to scramble and haul ass so we can get the house socially ready for thanksgiving and christmas, because apparently we're the hosts now for all the big family gatherings.

I REALLY wish people would fill me in on more shit before roping me in. I'm sick of people pushing me for things I honestly don't give a shit about. Paint? I just don't care. I say that not to be flippant or rude, it just doesn't matter to me. It doesn't matter to me if we host a thanksgiving party for thirty people I don't even know. Yet I get NO SAY In any of these things and am required to be all happy and enthusiastic.

It would be like me insisting everyone else play my world of warcraft toons, and be happy about it and criticize them when they don't do it right, and not even give them a choice. You will do what I say!

I suppose I am genuinely what people call Lazy. But I'm happy being lazy! So I feel like every time people keep pushing me to be active and doing all this extra shit I don't care about, they're saying "I don't want you to be happy." Plus I just feel like they got me for 18 years of child raising which regardless of whose fault it is I did not want but I stuck around anyway and stepped up whereas a lot of guys would've just taken off. So I feel kind of like hey, you got yours, stop asking me now.

[SkullKing]

This may be an idiot question, but why can't you simply refuse?

[DrFaroohk]

I "can" refuse....not without loads of guilt trips and attitude though. I just wish people wouldn't drag me into shit all the time.

I dunno but I must be some kind of rare human who actually gives a shit about other people, and I know there are things that make them miserable and I do not keep throwing that shit on top of them.

[bara]

I can sympathize with you on this one.

ex. New curtains.

Should we get new curtains?
me- I dont care.
Aww... dont be like that. Im asking what your opinion is.
me- there is nothing wrong with those, they are not stained, they are clean, they have almost no fading.
But dont you think it would be nice to have new curtains?
me- I didnt notice those curtains were different from the ones before them until a month after you got them. As long as there is nothing wrong I dont see any reason to replace them.

Later that day!

I got new curtains what do you think of the color?
me- they look like the curtains that were there.
I had to match the rest of the room!
me- The old curtains matched, you got new curtains that look almost exactly like the old curtains?
Well, if I had gotten a different color then it wouldnt have matched and we would have had to redo the whole room and we cant afford that. (Im face palming at this point)


I dont know about the rest of you, but as long as its clean and presentable I say leave it the hell alone, I have never once in my life walked in a room and saw anyone just sitting there staring at the assorted furntire, drapes, carpet etc. Ive seen people stare off into space, Ive seen them stare at the TV or a book or maybe another person or an animal, and even staring at the grandfather clock going tick tock tick tock. But I have never seen nor heard of anyone just staring at the furniture.

[SkullKing]

I "can" refuse....not without loads of guilt trips and attitude though. I just wish people wouldn't drag me into shit all the time.

I dunno but I must be some kind of rare human who actually gives a shit about other people, and I know there are things that make them miserable and I do not keep throwing that shit on top of them.

Perhaps this level of "help' is a given to them, and they do not realize they are intruding.

the same way they expect you to do things for them, are they willing to do things for you, if you ask?

[DrFaroohk]

Oh they'll help me if I ask, and I'll help them if they ask, but I try not to push it. For example, father in law hates kids. He tolerates the grandchildren only because he has to. Knowing that, I NEVER ask him to take the kids for me, because I know he'd probably say yes because he has to, but I know it's the last thing he wants to do. I would feel like a giant dick if I guilted him into doing something he clearly doesn't want to.

[SkullKing]

I may be very wrong, but my impression is that you are seeign the situation under the wrong light.

It isn´t so much that they push you to do things you do not want, but that they think everyone must do things they do not want, So they feel comfortable asking this kind of stuff from you precisely because they expect to be asked to do things in return, and you are not asking.

you wouldn´t be a dick in doing so.

You help them doing unpleasant stuff. It is only natural to feel free to ask help in return.