How to ruin your kids

[DrFaroohk]

At Thanksgiving yesterday we were visiting family. All was well for the most part, but one thing stood out and stuck in my mind (probably because it was so familiar to me). Involved my step-sister-in-law (if that's even a word lol) and her daughter, about 17 years old. SSIL makes some sort of needling comment to her daughter, as she always does. Daughter gets a little pissy and says "STOP IT MOM. You can't talk to people that way!"

All of a sudden, Family Matriarch stands up and says to daughter "NO! We are NOT talking like that on Thanksgiving. YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER."

Now, there's the possibility, that Family Matriarch didn't know what was said to SSIL. However, she heard the daughter just fine, and her sentence made it pretty clear that SSIL at least MIGHT have deserved it. At least enough to question it and not immediately jump down daughter's throat.

Parents - if you want your kids to grow up to be dicks, this is how you do it. If you want them to be defensive and angry and into drugs, this is how you do it. If you absolutely insist on creating useless human meatbags that are worthless to society, this is how you do it. Treat your kids like they pieces of shit, that everything is their fault no matter what, and that they never ever have the right to stick up for or defend themselves, no matter what.

Congratulations on fucking up the gene pool!

[jackfaire]

The problem is that isn't isolated that is how many people in the older generations did things.

That is what they meant by respect your elders they meant you take whatever shit your family wanted to feed you and ate it with a smile because they are older than you and have the right to do what they want.

Note how many parents used to plan the wedding for their kids.

That is why I never respect my elders. I respect people and if they are being jerks I stop respecting them.

My daughter has been raised that way and I will never tell her she has to respect someone because they are older than her as it generates situations like that.

[bara]

Respect your elders is a fun phrase and often taken out of context. Normally by the people that are saying it.

To me, its means that when some one more life expereince than you, maybe they might know a thing you two I dont and I shouldnt dismiss them out of hand. This is because older people dont want to tell you something, they want to tell a story. Many times you can learn things in the course of that.

But like Jack, I give respect until some one does something that shows me they are not deserving of it. Age is only a small factor.

[DrFaroohk]

I never cared for the "you must respect me because my parents fucked and conceived me before yours did". I respect people's EXPERIENCE in areas, and frequently people older than me are more experienced than me, so I respect their experience. And frequently someone younger than me can be more experienced. Of course, I don't define respect as "Do whatever the fuck I say" either.

[blas87]

Alongside of that are the people who insist that you must tolerate people simply because "They are faaaaaamily"

Oh, fuck that nonsense.

Growing up, every holiday, we'd have to spend time at my Nanna's house (she was the most manipulative, mentally ill person I've ever known) because if we didn't, she'd guilt and pout and manipulate my mom into it. So, we'd spend days that are supposed to be warm and happy with all of these mentally ill people who did nothing but bully and tease and humiliate my mother.

She finally decided we weren't spending the holidays with the nuts anymore. And oh, did she hear about it, later. Still does, her equally mentally insane aunt and cousin are very much on their way to becoming mini Nannas.

But, they are "still faaaamily". As I said before, fuck that nonsense. I have friends who are better people than my insane blood relatives. Blood may be thicker than water, and it also stains worse.