being reminded i am jobless

[Giggle Goose]

They were just donuts, for crying out loud! It's not like you were asking for a car or weekly trips to the beauty salon!

Being out of work is terrible...not just because of the lack of funds, but because it is very depressing and demoralizing. My boyfriend was out of work for only one month but the depression hit him hard, and he's normally a very upbeat person! I felt terrible for him and helped him out as much as I could.

I am sorry your husband is being such a jerk about it, LF. He needs to realize that people who don't have a job aren't just lazy bums and that being without one is a very depressing experience. If I was closer I would buy you numerous baked goods...hell, even a trip to the salon!

[blas87]

You are certainly not a lazy bum.

A lazy bum would be people like my ex, who are criminals and refuse to work or do anything other than party and live the Jersey Shore life.

[LexiaFira]

i admit to being lazy, and not doing chores yet i also recall on those days my depression was at its worst. however i bent over backwards for daughter.
i've come to the decision that i am going to be a bitch the rest of this month. going against my nice nature and be mean yet be nice about it.

ie this morning hubs was late coming home from work so i called him up and said hey you ok, where are you. he said where and i said ok cool thanks, see you when you get home, and hung up. and the tone in my voice was forced niceness but i did not yell, but it was clear i was upset. when he got home and jumped my case about hanging up i said did i yell, did i scream was i mean? no i SAID -repeat above- and that was it. i am done talking go away.

but its not just to hubs, its to everyone outside of the house. i am done being nice, i am done playing around like its a nice christmas, i am done trying. i am tired of being nice when family comes calling with sick kids and i get sick. i am done setting plans only to have them ruined. i am done trying to think ahead and have safety precautions set aside only to have them disregarded and have it somehow be my fault...done period. i quit, go play with someone else family. not my fault you don't want to listen. i am done playing this game every day.
and yes this is a blow up/rant/vent what have you. i am upset and hurt, but again i have a place to stay, people love and care for me, its not that horrible, no one hits me or beats me or makes my life a living hell daily, its just compounded by the fact its december, everyone is out shopping like a madman, stupidity abound in our government, and people at home think acting stupid is the new trend. i am mentally and emotionally exhausted....and cs.com and fratching are my last stand so to speak where i can still find sanity.



however it was pretty awesome when i went to clean up after the toys had been strewn from yesterday's outing and found a plaid christmas tree stocking and promptly hung it on the tree. yes, a simple plaid stocking. it now sits near the angel atop the tree with its own candy cane and chocolates in it even though it isn't going to anyone in particular. its the thought that counts....something as simple as that made my day. so there is still some hope

[tropicsgoddess]

That's fucked up. I never did that to SO when he was out of work and he never did that to me the times I was out of work either. I know in your situation it's hard getting work, have you tried a temp agency? They might find something up your alley, temp or permanent. Your husband is a douchebag for that and if he wants to talk about money, he should stfu and put it where his mouth is.

[LexiaFira]

it seems everything i suggest he is against. the temp agency screwed him over, this place did him wrong. or i can't take that one because it conflicts with his schedule...rolls eyes. which it does because he works nights. but still. come on have some leeway here

[Kheldarson]

So if he works nights...and you take care of your daughter...when do you have time to go work? Unless he's willing to take care of your daughter during the day.

Methinks the two of you need to sit and discuss a compromise.

Not that that makes him any less a jackass for treating you like that.

[LexiaFira]

oh yes, discussions were done this morning. he still a jackass.
I believe alot of it is not having experience not living outside of or away from his home. IE i lived with my mom for a long time but have moved many many times, and having finally moved out from my mom's i know what is required to live, have food pay bills and so on. Him, not so much. Not standing up for or defending him so much as giving info on why he is being this way. I have advised that he get some life experience and how to do so before acting this way.
Or rather, chill out because when I go with daughter to visit my family i may not come back

[Evandril]

*hands you a clue X 4 for husband training*

Being in the military has meant that my Wife has had one *hell* of a hard time finding a job that'd work...and I apologize to *her* for that fact, not the other way around. If he's working hours that make it hard for you to get a job, either tell him to adjust his schedule, or quit complaining to you because of what *he* has done.

[mikoyan29]

I know it's not quite the same but when I graduated from college, the economy wasn't exactly the greatest and it took me two years to finally find a job that was remotely related to what I studied in college. During that two years, there was this uncle that would keep reminding me that I hadn't found a job yet and how if I'd gone to the right school I'd be hired and blah blah blah. He shut up pretty quickly after I got hired somewhere though.

As for your situation....I don't know.

[tropicsgoddess]

I know you have a daughter and all, but his suggestions on finding a job are bullshit. He has to compromise too if he wants you to have a job. How old is your daughter? If she's not old enough for daycare yet, see if you can get a relative you trust to watch her while you're at work or look for part time or at home. Ratracerebellion.com is a good site to find legit work at home jobs. I got my job from there.

[LexiaFira]

TropicsGoddess
daughter is two, and due to her milk allergy it makes me all the more anxious. also the fact that she seems to be overly friendly as in oh hey this stranger that looks suspicious must need hugs lets go hug him!

I could find a daycare, however most of the relatives have switch shifts. 12 hours that switch. One week all day, then a week off, then next week all night. so its tricky. i have tried. the most i can hope for is the occasional day to myself which is good enough for me. will look up the site when i can thank you

and yes sometimes hubs has a lapse in judgement or common sense

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Uh, if you are taking care of the kid while he works, you DO have a job. And if you aren't being paid for doing that job, I suggest you lay out to him in no uncertain terms how much daycare costs.

[anakhouri]

Bing bing bing...you have a job that doesn't pay and is every bit as hard as your husband's. Probably harder.

My husband also works insane hours so it is hard for me to work (I cover shifts at my old bookstore). I wish I could work more but never once has he given me any shit about my lack of a 'real' job. He understands exactly how much I do to keep our household running smoothly and our kid alive and healthy.

Maybe you should sneak out and leave your husband alone with your daughter all day and a list of the chores you usually do. See how much he gets done...

[Andara Bledin]

I figure that anyone that stays home and takes care of their child(ren) has a job that pays at least as much as daycare would cost, and then some. After all, daycare won't do any of the chores.

^-.-^

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I take care of a child, do all the errands of the house, do the shopping, clean the house, do the yardwork, do the laundry, cook, and manage renovations and repairs. Oh, and I put out.

I could not be paid a paycheck for that. You know why? It would be prohibitively expensive, that's why.

My contributions allow the husband to bring in a paycheck. So part of the paycheck is mine. I earned every freaking penny of it.

And consider this: he leaves work at five and comes home to a home cooked meal (oh, and you'd have to pay extra for that. I don't know anyone that is a better cook than I am. A meal of that level of quality would not come cheap if you had someone come in and cook every night). After that, I clean up the kitchen and if I have have any energy left, I might fold some laundry or iron.

So my work day is way longer than five. I've stayed up till one am ironing.

So, fucker can't buy you donut? Yeah. Time for a Come To Jesus Meeting.