The word "douche"

[Amethyst Hunter]

I really fucking hate that word.

Lemme 'splain. It's an ugly-ass word to begin with, but when it was applied to me during my joke of a high school experience, I REALLY developed a loathing for it that burns beyond that of the brightest sun's fire.

You see, I was unfortunate enough to have been born into a family with a last name that ever so conveniently rhymes with (and could easily, with a switching around of letters, be made to look like) "douche." I've never liked my last name, but as a consequence of my peers' wankitude, I've grown to hate it like I hate summer heat. Which is pretty bad.

I truly believe that names have a lot of power to define a person, and I've always felt that mine has never suited me and brought me a lot of unnecessary grief. If I could, I would seriously change it, I detest it that much. Unfortunately, it would cause a lot of family strife that I'm not prepared to take on. (Also, I'm not sure what I'd change it to. I'm indecisive like that. )

Also, using it to describe someone (of either gender) of the assholish persuasion, while amusing enough, is still ultimately sexist as it makes the implication that anything to do with female stuff is scummy, and by extension, that women are as well. Now, I admit I've used it that way a couple of times, as well as several other 'female'-based insults (bitch, etc.) - it's the culture in which we grew up, basically; you can't help but repeat what's modeled for you. But since coming to have a greater respect for feminism several years ago, I've tried to be a little more aware of how women are degraded in a million and one different little ways, and I try to avoid using language that refers to women as such.

But mostly I hate that word because it reminds me of all the crap I went through as a teenager.

[anriana]

Also, using it to describe someone (of either gender) of the assholish persuasion, while amusing enough, is still ultimately sexist as it makes the implication that anything to do with female stuff is scummy, and by extension, that women are as well. Now, I admit I've used it that way a couple of times, as well as several other 'female'-based insults (bitch, etc.) - it's the culture in which we grew up, basically; you can't help but repeat what's modeled for you. But since coming to have a greater respect for feminism several years ago, I've tried to be a little more aware of how women are degraded in a million and one different little ways, and I try to avoid using language that refers to women as such.

I can see how the stuff you went through as a teenager would make you dislike the word, but I'd like to disagree with this part. Maybe other people use douche as an insult because they think things associated with the vagina are icky, but I've always used it to describe a certain breed of frat boy - like actual douches, they think they're awesome for women when they're reallly nothing but worthless crap. I don't know if you're female or not, but douches are bad for vaginas.

[Greenday]

I basically use douche, or douchebag, in the same sense as scumbag, dirtbag, etc. For example, the majority of the kids I went to middle and high school with were douchebags. It's a strong word that accurately describes my ex-classmates.

[Boozy]

I like it as a milder form of "asshole". I'll call a guy an asshole if he's being malicious on purpose, but if he's just being obnoxious because of ignorance and an overinflated ego, I'll use the word "douche".

like actual douches, they think they're awesome for women when they're really nothing but worthless crap.

I like this interpretation.

[DesignFox]

... like actual douches, they think they're awesome for women when they're reallly nothing but worthless crap. I don't know if you're female or not, but douches are bad for vaginas.

I happen to like this interpretation, too.

Hey, if words have power, give them the power you WANT them to have.

Amethyst, I am sorry to hear about your plight...I've often wondered (when looking at some of my customer's last names) how they dealt with the teasing that MUST have occurred. I'll put it this way...some of the names I've come across, I pronounced very carefully or just plain ASKED before even attempting- wrong or sometimes correct, you could make a million bad jokes with some pronunciations, and I didn't want to set anyone off by accident!

[blas87]

I've never referred to a woman as a douche, and never even thought of the connection.....I've always used it to describe an assholish guy.

[BlaqueKatt]

is still ultimately sexist as it makes the implication that anything to do with female stuff is scummy, and by extension, that women are as well.

Yeah I kinda see it that way as well-however most of the people I've known to use them usually had an infection of some sort(and used the "Extra medicated"-with betadine), or had a "career " where they had to internally wash out the "evidence" of their last customer(unprotected sex-double ewww)


I usually don't use it-I actually prefer the British term "Wanker" for those types of people-(Thank you Brits for such a delightful term )

But I still giggle at the southpark episode where they were voting on replacing their mascot with a giant douche or a turd sandwich-personally I'd have voted for the giant douche-it least it was more useful than a turd sandwich.

my last name got corrupted into "Holstein"-like the cow, And don't even get me started on how I despise my parents for giving me the initials of "BJ" Yeah that caused major wankage in highschool-both literally and figuratively I'm sure.

[lordlundar]

My beef is with the idiots who have no idea what it means.

I had a coworker who had this penchant for pissing everyone he met off. Gangsta speak all the time and insulted everyone. and i do mean EVERYONE. One of his favorite was calling everyone he knew (behind their backs of course) a douche bag. Needless to say, considering he kept bothering me while I was working, I heard this a lot and it pissed me off.

One day, he comes up to me, does his little rant, calls everyone he saw today a douche bag, then, and I am not making this up, asks me what a douche bag is. Yes, he was calling everyone he met one, without even knowing what he was saying.

Now me, I have a pretty conservative streak while out in public, so hearing me swear in public is surprising. as such, I have no answer for him, so all I told him was look it up for himself. He comes back about 5 minutes later and the look was priceless. He then tells me "Thai is SICK!". He still used it up until he was fired (no one knows why) but it was considerably less.

[Rapscallion]

I've never been called a douche, and it's not really invaded the culture over here. However, I do know where one goes, and I know that many chaps would consider themselves lucky to get that on a regular basis...

Rapscallion

[Lace Neil Singer]

If douche is sexist, does that mean that dickhead, cocksucker, nutswinger etc are, too? IMO, I think it's stupid for feminists to latch on to words like douche and claim that by using them, you're demeaning women. -.- A word only has power if you make it so.

[Amethyst Hunter]

If douche is sexist, does that mean that dickhead, cocksucker, nutswinger etc are, too? IMO, I think it's stupid for feminists to latch on to words like douche and claim that by using them, you're demeaning women. -.- A word only has power if you make it so.

I didn't say that ALL feminists thought the word was sexist. I said that *I* thought the use of it as an insult was demeaning to women (I know at least one other person who feels the same way, only she can explain it in much better terms than I can). Those who hate women hate gay people too, and what's the best way for a misogynist to attack another male (gay or straight) he's got a beef with in the heterosexually-dominant world? By implying that he is somehow feminine and therefore weak and unmanly. Like it or not, women are still considered the default for weakness and, in some areas, worth less than material goods. If this weren't so, the levels of violence against and mistreatment of women would be practically nonexistent.

The problem with power in regards to words is that whoever has the general monopoly on power makes the rules. Look at how well the Xtian (not to be confused with actual Christians) Reich has managed to twist words around to get people to believe their lies about any number of subjects. They are not (yet) the actual dominant force in the world, but they are a significant enough group that they have done their homework, and they know that an awful lot of people claim Christianity as their choice of religion. Ergo, they play upon people's fears and doubts, and they've given power to words that should have none at all. Undoing that damage will take many, many years - if any of it can be undone at all. (This is why I also refuse to use the label "pro-life" - the actions committed by extremists make that bunch anything *but* pro-life, and I make distinctions between those who merely oppose abortion on a personal level and those who want to see *all* choices banned and women relegated to every male's authority - the latter is and always will be anti-choice. The former can still be pro-choice while personally retaining a singular opposition to abortion, because pro-choice means just that: the rights and freedom to choose as the individual will.)

On a smaller scale, who is perceived as having the most 'power' in a classroom setting? (Teachers and all aside) The 'popular' kids. They are the ones that most everybody wants to dress like, act like, and generally emulate in every possible way. So if a 'popular' kid singles one of the outcasts out for attention of the bad kind, those labels stick like krazy glue pretty much until you die. Ask any outcast - it's virtually impossible to change your reputation once it's been pinned on you.

So in that context, I do consider the use of 'douche' as an insult sexist, and I won't use it myself. (I don't have much issue with anyone here who does, though, because I do see where you're coming from with it.)

[Lace Neil Singer]

I've never once used it, but then it never was an insult back when I was at school. And you're preaching to the choir as far as the whole popular clique goes. I was an outcast, too; the only friends I had were fellow outcasts who refused to do what the populars said and leave me out of everything.

The main insult word used at school was either "spastic" or "spaz"; I used them too, cuz I refused to let the popular clique dictate what I did or said. I was already labeled, as a freak; guess what, I use that word to describe myself. I'm not about to let a bunch of idiots who are probably on benefit right now still affect me... and yeah, with the name thing; my first and second name were both made fun of and rhymed with various things and given associations, but that would happen even if your name was Jane Smith.

[blas87]

Interestingly enough, most of the people I associate with, work with, hell, just most people in my age group use "douche" and "douchebag" to describe assholes and dumb men. Not gay men. Those with issues with gay men tend to use "fag" and "queer".

[anriana]

If douche is sexist, does that mean that dickhead, cocksucker, nutswinger etc are, too? IMO, I think it's stupid for feminists to latch on to words like douche and claim that by using them, you're demeaning women. -.- A word only has power if you make it so.

Uh... yeah? Much like words using synonyms for the vagina are sexist are well.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I'm confused; why did you quote me? I wasn't the person to say that douche was a sexist word; do you agree or disagree with what I said?