I'm Mean And A Grinch!

[blas87]

According to a few of my coworkers.

It's that dreaded time of year again where the donation envelop goes around, one or two people decide that we absolutely must get Christmas gifts for our shift lead.

In all honesty, I won't lie, when I had a different shift lead, except for last year (because I truly had an honest to gosh dollar to dollar budget for gifts), I put a few bucks in there because in general, I liked her, and she wasn't too difficult to work for.

I won't do it. I wouldn't elaborate or discuss what we should get her for Christmas, because I don't care.

And when the envelope went around and one coworker (40 years old going on 16) noticed I didn't put any money in there, she barked at me, "You're being really mean and a grinch!"

I'm no fan of excuses, but I've used the "poor" one before just to get people off my back, but that won't work in this case, because I have two coworkers who are more poor than I am, and they donated.

Yeah, but guess what? One of them is the favorite, and the other is the 2nd favorite, Brown Noser, with his head so far up her you-know that he'll do anything to stay in her good graces. I'm so far down on her list of people she cares for because I won't kiss her you-know and I refuse to play her panic and freak out hysteria game while she watches my every move like a hawk.

We haven't had hardly any opportunities for OT lately, and even though it's built in to one payweek at a time, money's gotten tighter since every other week, we don't even clear 40 hours. So, this paycheck was mostly for gifts, but it also has to go for all my bills, because it's the middle of the month (save for rent, that's later). I have budgeted about $150-$175 for gifts, and I'm sticking to it.

"Its only five dollars!"

Sure, maybe I'm being immature, but with how I feel about that woman, even though I could spare $5, I'd give it to the cerebral palsy fund the next time I'm at Kwik Trip and get asked to, or to Ronald McDonald House Charity the next time I go there and am asked. Or best yet, I can spend that $5 at PetSmart when they ask for donations when you pay.

Maybe I am being immature and a little bitchy, not giving someone a gift because I don't care for them personally, but oh well. It's how I feel and after a little reassurance from some other coworkers, I'm working on not feeling as guilty, because they told me "If she treated me the way she treated you, I wouldn't get her anything either!"

[Andara Bledin]

"Its only five dollars!"

"Oh, then you should be ok taking care of my share for me, right?"

^-.-^

[Gravekeeper]

Fark them. Why should the office band together to get gifts for one person? We do a secret Santa here and its completely optional whether or not a person wants to participate.

[SkullKing]

"Oh, then you should be ok taking care of my share for me, right?"

Very well said.

I hate being forced to do things that should be voluntary.

[Boozy]

I don't usually like the idea of getting gifts for the boss. I don't believe that gifts for bosses are given in the right spirit. They're about sucking up instead of making someone you care for happy. It cheapens both the professionalism of the workplace and the act of gift-giving.

Frankly, I don't believe that gifts should ever be exchanged in a work environment. There's just too much potential for problems and hurt feelings. If you're close enough to someone you work with to exchange gifts, then you're close enough to get together outside of the workplace and exchange gifts there.

[guywithashovel]

This year, we all took up a collection and got our director a Kindle Fire. I gave ten dollars to it. However, he is a very good guy to work for. In fact, the main reason why I'm hesitant on trying to make a job move right now is because I like working under him, so I didn't mind throwing down some money to get him a nice gift.

Last year, we did a Secret Santa where we all drew names and bought for whoever we drew. I kind of liked that. We didn't do it this year because the person who arranged it last year is no longer here, and no one else felt like putting it together.

That can be an awkward situation to be in, though, if everyone wants you to put some cash in but you can't/don't want to. Sometimes holidays can be a pain in the butt at work, with everyone wanting to do things a certain way, and someone getting mad because you aren't "in the spirit" the way they think you should be. Take that person who arranged our Secret Santa last year. She is really gung ho about holidays, and sometimes got irked if people didn't get into them the way she did. I kid you not, she actually got mad at her husband because he didn't do anything to commemorate Sweetest Day , Seriously, who in the heck celebrates that day?

[blas87]

We already have a Secret Santa deal going on besides, which I also didn't participate in. That one, you were supposed to spend $10 on that person.

Yeah, voluntary, and I'm a size 0.

[bainsidhe]

We'll have cards passed around for different things like retirements, death in the family, weddings, etc. But here's the thing, donations are voluntary. Just sign the damn card and pass it along, no one is watching to see how much you're putting in.

If the coworker made me really mad, I'd probably ask if she/he would appreciate having a conversation with HR about forcing others to participate.

Oh and the "you're mean and a grinch!" comment? Nope, just practical, and thank you for making my decision for me. Nothing gives me warm fuzzies like refusing to cave to insults.

[BrenDAnn]

Agreeing with GK and the others here. We're doing secret Santa this year at the C-Store...though it became not so secret but anyway. One of my coworkers didn't want to participate. That's fine. It's her choice, and we wouldn't force her into it, or chastise her for it.

[Greenday]

Giving gifts as a huge group doesn't make sense to me. It pressures people who may not like the person getting the gift into chipping in when there's no reason to. If you want to give someone a gift, buy them something yourself. Don't force other people to be charitable for your benefit.

[blas87]

Thanks guys. You were just the extra reassurance I needed here. I knew in my heart I wasn't being a nasty grinch, but I had to hear it from someone else.

I'm not so sure it's pure nastiness, I just have quite a few coworkers who are far too immature for their age, or have absolutely no filters and just say whatever they want.

[Greenday]

You should pick someone you like and they don't like and force them to couch up some dough for a gift.

[blas87]

That'd be me

[Rapscallion]

We don't really have anything like that at my place, not seasonally, but every so often we have a retirement or a baby or a leaver and the envelope went around, and often a card as well.

Early on last year, one of the people in our personnel team who had fucked me over retired (mostly due to incompetence, and it's provable - just not worth fighting). I'd avoided the envelope for quite some days, but I was approached directly as we assembled for one of our general meetings. It was thrust at me and the woman handing it around, not a member of personnel, was taking ntoes of who'd given and who'd not.

"No."

"What? Are you certain?"

"I'm certain. No."

She went away with a very puzzled and hurt expression. A different member of personnel - one leading the fucking over - was sat in front of me at the time and I she started quite visibly. I took great pleasure from that.

In contrast, if I like someone I've been known to be asked if I want change from what I put in, and I've told people on different occasions not to worry as I like the person.

As far as I'm concerned, there's no mandatory about it and I'll be as vicious or generous as I need to be.

Rapscallion

[bara]

Why would I want to give anything to someone who made my life harder?
I have no obligation to give a 'gift' of any sort to anyone. Certainly I am not going to give to anyone who I don't like.