Disrespectful, Cockteasing women.

[cewfa]

I was introduced to this girl a couple of weeks back, because I was told she wanted to meet me. A bit of background, I am about 5 foot 9 and 320 lbs. My height and weight are important to this story. This woman is also the sister-in-law of one of my coworkers, which is also important to the story. This ends the background.

So this girl and I are texting each other fairly frequently. It is also important to note that she did state from the beginning that she didn't want a relationship with anyone because of some things that had happened in the recent past. All of sudden she slacks off on the texts. I come to find out from my co-worker that she is talking to her (my co-worker's) brother and all she wanted to meet me for is because I am a "big guy, who could protect her and cuddle with her during a movie." Now, I should also note that this girl has some massive boobs, and big boobs are a turn on of mine, and she likes to wear sexy clothing and sexy nighties. So, while I am a nice guy, I am a healthy male who has natural urges and desires, and she actually expects me to cuddle with her while in a nightie and not get turned on, and probably has no intention of entering a relationship with me. I'm sorry, but I feel like I deserve better and I don't feel like that's very fair to me.

I'm going on vacation for the next week, so I told her that I was backing off and that she needed to think about what her intentions are towards me, because I wasn't down for what she had in mind. She acted like she didn't know what I was talking about and that a male and female friends cuddling was the most natural thing in the world. I think this is a real cockteasing thing for her to do, and I'm not sure that I want to even associate with her now. I told her that, minus the cockteasing part.

[Hyena Dandy]

What's wrong with male and female friends cuddling?

My female friends do that all the time. O_O

[cewfa]

I didn't say anything was wrong with it. If two friends agree to that, that's fine. I, however, found this out from a third party, weeks after the fact. This is not something I want to do for the reasons I stated above. Having said that, in my years on earth, I know of no male-female friends who cuddled and were just friends.

[KitterCat]

She acted like she didn't know what I was talking about and that a male and female friends cuddling was the most natural thing in the world. I think this is a real cockteasing thing for her to do, and I'm not sure that I want to even associate with her now. I told her that, minus the cockteasing part.

She may not have any idea what your talking about. She did tell you she isn’t looking for a relationship, but she may consider you a friend since the two of you have been texting for a while. Which could be why she’s looking for a cuddle and movie with you since you know she’s not interested in going out as anything but friends. Some people, myself included, do consider this normal. Your problem is the fact that you are attracted to her, but a relationship isn’t in the cards right now. Let her know what the problem is, she may take it better than you think.

Since I’m a very touchy person I have to let you know I still cuddle friends while being married. If I find out that its uncomfortable for them, or causing problems because of the way I dress, then I stop entirely or change. But a person still has to tell me, or I have to notice their body language. Or the two people have to agree to do the unspoken attraction deal.

[Andara Bledin]

What KitterCat said; she said from the outset that she wasn't interested in a "relationship." That you expect more isn't really reasonable.

She said no at the outset - that's not a cocktease.

^-.-^

[Hyena Dandy]

Yeah, if she'd been ambiguous, that'd be teasing. I mean, it's one thing to say "No, I really don't want to cuddle with you, that goes too far for me." That's something I could respect, but going on to demean HER for it, make HER a horrible person, that just turns you into a jerk.

I mean, look, I don't usually say things like this on the forum, even when I AM thinking it, but... You're being an ass.

[Nyoibo]

Having said that, in my years on earth, I know of no male-female friends who cuddled and were just friends.

I have and do with several of my female friends, in fact next week I'm going to be with this friend


Hell, we've even cuddled on her bed while watching movies, nothing sexual about it.

[cewfa]

What KitterCat said; she said from the outset that she wasn't interested in a "relationship." That you expect more isn't really reasonable.

She said no at the outset - that's not a cocktease.

^-.-^

I don't expect more, and my problem is that I found out about her wanting this second hand weeks after the fact. If she had said that this is what she wanted from the start, I would have said no, and we would have gone from there. She wasn't completely honest with me, and that's my problem, that and she expects boyfriend things (cuddling, protection, etc.) with out being me being a boyfriend. I am NO WOMAN'S exclusive cuddle toy to be used whenever it is convenient for her, and I am especially no woman's cuddle toy when she ignores me most of the time and is talking to other dudes.

You know what, let me ask a question here, lets say the tables are reversed. Let's say that it is me who wants a woman to be a cuddle buddy and to cook and clean and do my laundry, but doesn't want a relationship or marriage or what have you. I would bet a dollar to a doughnut that the woman and her gal pals would get together and crucify me. I would be called a dog, a pig, and a myriad of other names. Am I not correct? I defy you to tell me I'm not correct, but since I have a penis, I'm expected to suck it up, and I'm being an ass for expecting something that women expect all the time. Fuck that, society can suck my dick on that one.

Expecting someone to perform boyfriend duties, while having little or no intention of letting him be her boyfriend, intentionally putting him in a position to be aroused without means of taking care of it is cockteasing by its very definition. Oh that's right, I forgot, women can do whatever they want without regard to anyone else's feelings, because she who hath the pussy hath the power. Fuck that, fuck that with a rusty dildo.

Yeah, if she'd been ambiguous, that'd be teasing. I mean, it's one thing to say "No, I really don't want to cuddle with you, that goes too far for me." That's something I could respect, but going on to demean HER for it, make HER a horrible person, that just turns you into a jerk.

I mean, look, I don't usually say things like this on the forum, even when I AM thinking it, but... You're being an ass.

So, how is calling her out for her dishonesty being demeaning. I didn't call her any names, I didn't actually tell her she was a cockteaser, I just told her how I felt and that I wanted her to consider what I said and consider what her intentions were as far as I was concerned and not to text while I was vacation. I told her that if I still wanted to talk to her when I got back, I would text her. Oh, that's right, she is a woman so she gets a pass to do whatever she wants, and if I am truly a good and nice guy I will let her. Again, fuck that, fuck that with a chainsaw.

[Boozy]

I'm confused. She said she wasn't looking for a relationship. She didn't say she didn't want sex.

Are we all just assuming they're the same thing?

[protege]

Hell, we've even cuddled on her bed while watching movies, nothing sexual about it.

Lucky bastard

[AdminAssistant]

Honestly, I think it's pretty weird to go around snuggling people that you aren't either in a relationship or a FWB scenario with. I mean, I'll hug a female friend, I'll console her, but I'm not going to snuggle on the couch with her or anyone that isn't my Fiance. Also, as a woman, I know damn well that if I snuggle with a guy on a couch dressed in a lowcut nightgown with my hooters hanging out that, hey, he might start to get aroused.

[Rapscallion]

Worth testing. I'll be right over.

Rapscallion

[telecom_goddess]

Worth testing. I'll be right over.

Rapscallion

It's a dirty job but someone has to do do it right

[Rapscallion]

It's a dirty job

If done right.

Rapscallion

[Greenday]

I'm confused. She said she wasn't looking for a relationship. She didn't say she didn't want sex.

Are we all just assuming they're the same thing?

This was what I was wondering as soon as I started reading the replies.

Not entirely sure what her not wanting a relationship has to do with hooking up.

And this thread has given me a great idea for a new thread. Thanks! It'll be on how men and women can't be friends. It'd make life a lot easier if women understood this.