Parents who do not prioritize their kids

[BlaqueKatt]

Just a thought...it seems like, if you took a record of all the times people have had sex, vs. the number of pregnancies...isn't it so rare that it kind of negates the "You had sex, that's what happens."

yup even a perfectly healthy couple actively attempting to have kids only has a 15% to 25% chance of conceiving every month, a woman who is regularly sexually active who is not using any form of birth control has an 11 percent chance of conceiving each month. And that's just sperm meeting egg, considering 80% or so of those zygotes don't implant, the number drops like a rock.

[Rebel]

At the point of my first post, I was not aware of the OP's gender. Women can be misogynists just as much as men. But if you feel the need to call me sexist, please go ahead, I really don't care.

My reason for calling out the misogyny in the original post was because of the unnecessary inclusion of the fact that Lisa was dating a married man.
I pointed out that we aren't being told the full story behind that fact. Was the man separated and heading for divorce? Is he trying to divorce his wife but she's refusing to sign the papers? Is he in an open marriage?
Either way, it doesn't matter. Her sex life doesn't determine her worth as a mother. A woman who dates several men at a time, or a woman who likes to engage in some serious kinky sex isn't any less of a mother than a married woman who's only ever had sex with 1 person their entire life. Unless she's involving the child in her sex life, it has not bearing on her as a mother. The OP set out to shame Lisa for having a sex life and it's sad how many people were happy to jump on that band wagon

The OP even admitted that Lisa hadn't done a terrible job as a mother.
They also admitted that they didn't know Lisa very well.

Every example of her bad parenting can be seen in any parent.
Poor diet? Not everyone has time or knowledge about the best foods for their child.
The overuse of the pacifier? I've already pointed out that not everyone is aware of the dangers.

The most telling was the attack on her was going shopping with friends. She left her child with people she trusts so she could have time to herself. In fact, she seems to always leave her child with people she trusts, and who are willing to look after her child, when she needs time to herself.

The OP judged her as doing this too much, but again, they had already admitted that they didn't know Lisa very well anymore, so I'm taking this with a grain of salt.
It's fine that the OP was concerned about the child, but what they have done is judged her based on their own ideals for how a mother should act.
It doesn't matter on what a single parent does, they are never doing enough for the child. If they work all the time, they're abandoning the child. If they stay home and live off of welfare, they're lazy and are setting poor examples for the child. If they dare to go anywhere without the child, they're abandoning the child and destroying their future.

Nothing in the OP's post, besides personal speculation, pointed to Lisa not prioritizing her daughter.

[HotelKatz]

Lisa in the op's post reminds me of my older half-sister, that it isn't even funny.

I think my half-sister was in her late 20-early thirties when she had her first kid, and she still parties to this day.

[wolfie]

You know if this is the definition of Slut Shaming than I agree with it. Only I agree that the girl is acting like a slut and should be ashamed of her behavior. Going by the OP’s posts this girl is not spending time with her child, is hooking up with a married man, and has pushed her child on to a babysitter. Please, tell me how is an adulteress relation ship not acting like a slut?

Simple - "acting like" implies the appearance WITHOUT the fact. The girl in the OP isn't acting like a slut - she is one.

[Sleepwalker]

It'd be nice if more women thought abortion was an option in our culture. =/

Sadly, while the women I work with do manage to successfully use BC after their 'wake up call' pregnancy, they all felt compelled to continue the pregnancy- it is hard to break away from what your entirely conservative xian culture says when you are still living with your parents. Perhaps one of the ones I currently know is a 'responsible parent', staying away from drugs, warrants, abusive domestic situations, theft, and keeping gainful employment.

It is damn hard to hear the stories of them jumping through hoops to get the sadistically small amount of aid my state offers, and thinking how a better cultural attitude towards sex, BC and abortion could have helped them. 90% are great people, perhaps 10% are great parents. All of them love their children, but, like the song says, sometimes love ain't enough.

[Seshat]

She would frequently leave the girl with a babysitter, sometimes overnight, giving all kinds of reasons why she needed a sitter, some of which were probably not true. Is it that common for a mom to drop a kid off at a babysitter because she wants to go shopping?

She was almost always chronically late picking the child up as well. It was not at all uncommon for her to be more than an HOUR LATE, seriously inconveniencing the babysitter.

My mother would leave me at a daycare attached to the shopping centre, when she was shopping. It was safer for me than having a very active toddler and a very pregnant mother. Besides, she'd made arrangements with that daycare that if they were open when she went into labour, I'd be staying with them. It would be easier for both them and me if I already knew them and considered the place 'fun'.

BUT:
There's a difference in (apparent) attitude here. The apparent attitude is that OP's former friend is dumping the kid; whereas my mother was putting me somewhere safe & making sure I'd be content while she was busy having my little brother.

As for chronic lateness? That's just not on. Your babysitter is gold.

[Lace Neil Singer]

When I was a babysitter, if a parent was chronically late all the time, I'd blacklist them and pass on their details to all the other teen babysitters in the neighbourhood. Therefore, if someone was a bad parent, they could end up on what was known as the "babysitter's blacklist" and not ever be able to get a sitter.

[blas87]

My parents set me up for disaster. I wanted my own little babysitting service (because I'd actually taken classes for older kids/teens and got "certified" as a babysitter by actual child care providers and was also certified in CPR and emergency response), and my dad gave all my info to his coworkers at the factory he worked at. He worked with quite a few "winners" who were white trash and had these awful heathen children, and they paid me humiliating wages to put up with their rotten kids. I know my dad was just trying to help, but I preferred to work with the kids from the families that my mom set me up with. At least they paid me well and their kids weren't the devil's spawn.