The Morning Fuckery

[DrFaroohk]

Every morning, the entire Faroohk clan runs around like decapitated chickens. Of course I myself manage to keep a cool head for a little while, but eventually my irritation with their chickenheadedness makes me lose it too.

We start out with wakeup time. All of us are poor waker-uppers, myself included. But I can force myself out of bed. You know what it's like dragging a stubborn, tired 7 year old out of bed? Hard. I literally am DRAGGING him because he will not move. He just goes limp.

I even remind him he's so tired because he stays up so damn late playing in his room. You think anyone listens to me? Fuck no. "I can stay up as late as I Want to and I'm never tired!"

Even once we get him upstairs slightly awake, he still becomes a quadroplegic for the next half hour. Once he's cured of the quadroplegia, he becomes mentally retarded. Told him to get his shoes on this morning, he goes downstairs to get him, then we don't see him again. Finally figure out he's not back yet, go check on him. "I couldn't find them." He says with an obnoxiously blank stare. Jesus fucking christ.

On to the mrs. "Hey hun, where's my clothes? You know, the ones I bought Friday, then dumped in the middle of the living room floor? Yeah, the ones I bought right before we had a triple sleepover. Have you seen them?" FUCK NO I HAVE NOT SEEN THEM!

And then it's just more questions....

"Where's my shoes?" "Probably right where you took them off!"

"Where's my keys?" "They should be in your purse like I reminded you fifty times last night."

"Where's my backpack?" "Right where you dropped it last night!"

"Where's my homework?" "Should be in your backpack like I told you fifty times last night. NMP."


I SHOULD get proactive, and just start having everyone's shit ready for them in the morning. But I get the sinking suspicious that if they happened, we'd all just sleep a half hour longer, still forget where everything was, and it'd be an even bigger fuckery.

I HATE MORNINGS!

[Boozy]

If I were you, I'd take 30 minutes or so before going to bed in the evenings to get things organized. I'm mentally deficient for the first hour after I wake up, so I usually pack lunches and gather my things together the night before, especially if I know I have to be out the door first thing.

My husband's a morning person, so he just gets up and gets moving right away. I can't do that, so I do things in the evening when my mind is sharper.

[Ree]

I know you aren't looking for advice, but I know you are going to get advice anyway, because that's the pattern.

I know you only posted to vent, but this is fratching, so be prepared to accept any criticism you will get for your part in your own misery. That's the pattern.

You post these whining venting rants in "Things I hate" and every single time, you are venting about something as if you are totally powerless to do anything.
You make it seem as if life and chaos happens all around you and fate contrives to hurt you and cause you anguish, and there you are, just minding your own business when the world took a crap on your head.

It's really annoying.
It's as if you seek attention, and even negative attention is attention.
I don't know why this is.
I suspect you have not had an easy life.

Who really has, though?

What the hell, though, I guess the fratching crowd is cheaper than a therapist that you will just ignore as well.

Sounds like your whole family is pretty disorganized, so until you are willing to make the changes, you're going to continue to have the same frustrations in the morning.

You even admit you need to do something about the situation, but then excuse your inaction away by saying that taking responsibility and getting organized the night before will only cause more problems because you will just feel a false sense of security and use that as an excuse to sleep in even later the next morning. WTF???

Talk about flawed reasoning and self-sabotaging thinking and behaviour.

If you don't like the situation, then change it.

Take any electronics out of your child's room and set a strict bedtime until he learns to go to bed at a decent time without argument.

Have a place for everything, and everything in its place. If backpacks and shoes, etc always go to the same place, then there is no time wasted trying to track them down.

Get lunches and work or school clothes and everything else ready the night before.

Until you are ready and willing to do those things, then your venting and whining about it is just annoying and really quite futile.
I do wish you the best, though, if you ignore the inevitable well meaning advice and hope that things will improve on their own because you have put forth your wishes onto an internet forum.

[DrFaroohk]

First, I do not WHINE.

Now, I AM fully aware that I could work my ass off and get everything organized and just the way I like it. However, it begs the question.....where the FUCK is that attitude whenever I'm pissing someone else off? So I fuck up and get in trouble, where the fuck was the guy working his butt off to make it the way he wanted it? How about the next time a wife is on here complaining that her husband cheats, y'all say "Well, you should've worked harder to keep him happy."

[Ree]

First, I do not WHINE.

You don't see it as whining, but as I mentioned, when someone constantly vents about the same things, yet does nothing to help their own situation but offer more excuses as to why they don't do anything to change it, then I do consider it whining.

Your analogy is apples and oranges, but if we go with that, then, yeah, if a partner strays, I would say that the wronged party does need to look at the situation and see if there was ever a point where they may have contributed to their partner's roving eye.
Has the relationship gone stale? Are they taking time as a couple to be together? Have they become so focused on their own interests or concerns that they have forgotten they have a partner?

That is NOT saying that every person who was cheated on deserved it or did something to drive the person away. Sometimes, there isn't one damn thing a person has done, or, despite every effort to prevent it, people cheat.
I am just saying that, first and foremost, in a situation with a cheating partner, there does have to be some type of self assessment if only to possibly prevent it from occurring again with a new partner.

That said, complaining about a cheating partner is not the same as complaining about morning chaos in your home, yet consciously refusing to make any effort to change it.

[Andara Bledin]

Have a place for everything, and everything in its place. If backpacks and shoes, etc always go to the same place, then there is no time wasted trying to track them down.

This. This to infinity. I always know where my stuff is because my stuff has places where it goes. My keys are on their hook. My wallet is on my desk. My phone is plugged into my computer. My shoes are next to my personal chair and my slippers go in that spot when I change. My jacket is on its hook.

I can get out the door in literally seconds, once I've got my shoes on.

If you don't like the situation, then change it.

And this.

Do something about it. It's your life.

First, I do not WHINE.

You may not think so, but you really do come across as whiny and helpless.

^-.-^

[DrFaroohk]

You may not think so, but you really do come across as whiny and helpless.

^-.-^

And people are allowed to be wrong, as they frequently are.

[Ree]

And people are allowed to be wrong, as they frequently are.

I would say that it's more a case of forming an opinion based on what we read, rather than anyone being wrong or right.

Are you posting from home?

Why not take a moment right now to think about tomorrow morning and see what you can accomplish this very minute to make it easier for yourself?

[telecom_goddess]

I have to get things ready the night before too.....any lunches I plan to take that are leftovers or whatever I get ready. I put my backpack and shoes in the same place every single day. I put my purse/keys/etc stuff I need in the backpack every single day. I run the same routine every morning so I don't forget anything vital I need to do before I go out the door.

Course I'm not dealing with little kids anymore but even when I did I managed to have shit organized ...it's not that hard.

[Andara Bledin]

And people are allowed to be wrong, as they frequently are.

It's a subjective observation. There is no wrong.

^-.-^

[the_std]

I'm sorry, but Andara is not wrong. When you make these rants, you do come across as whiny and, as has been said MANY times previously, it makes people not take anything you say seriously. I think Ree hit the nail on the head with the "negative attention" bit, because we've told you these things before, and none of it seems to sink in. You seem to behappy to continue to do things the way you do, enjoying the misery and the chance to complain. Soon enough, no one will reply or set any stock by your complaints because you make no visible effort to improve your situation.

[Ree]

Before this goes any further, I want to remind people of the line between discussing and debating a point and making personal attacks, and that the site does have an "ignore" feature if a person's posts continually rub us the wrong way.

I truly hope my comments have not come across as attacking you, DrF.
My intent really was to get through to you that you are the one ultimately responsible for what happens in your life.

“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

[Gravekeeper]

First, I do not WHINE.

Dude, no offence, but your posts tend to be the very textbook definition of whining. You *are* whining. -.-

Whine

Noun
1. a long high-pitched plaintive cry or moan
2. a continuous high-pitched sound
3. a feeble, peevish complaint. Especially one repeated.

You complain, repeatedly and always in a foul mood, about things you never seem to want to take any action to change. That's whining.

[Boozy]

Mod Note:

This forum, and much of the Internet in general, would not exist if people didn't want to whine, read other people's whines, and share the whining.

We're all whiners. So let's drop this line of discussion and talk about the subject of the original post, not the poster.

And for the love of whatever you find holy, use your ignore lists. Take your own advice - if something (or someone) is bothering you, do something about it.

Any future posts along these lines will be deleted. If you have a problem with anything I've said here, or questions, send me a PM. Don't respond in the thread. Thanks.

[guywithashovel]

Honestly, DrF, I usually enjoy reading your threads. It has seemed that you are easily annoyed by the various things life presents to you. In fact, you seem to have an eye for the minor irritants that most of us probably notice and may get a little annoyed at ourselves, but don't really think to comment on (if that makes any sense). I usually get a smile or a chuckle out of your posts. Not at YOU, of course, but at the way you present it.

As for the topic of this thread, I do think it might help to have everything in its place the night before (the shoes and everything else). Then again, I've never been responsible for getting small children up and ready in the morning, so maybe I'm missing something there. Of course, if I read correctly, you feel that by doing this, you would be having to take responsibility for everything in the morning while everyone else just gets up.