Dwelling On The Past

[Boozy]

If I were in a situation where someone I had to be around kept bringing the past up, I'd just stop the conversation every time it happened and ask, "And that's relevant how?" and not let it go until they give me an answer or admit that it's not.

I doubt that would be effective for the not-so-bright individuals in Blas's life. I suspect it would also make the conversation extremely awkard -- and possibly offensive, if they were to answer the question in a way Blas wasn't expecting.

Why not just say, "That's a time in my life that I don't think about now. I've moved on. I'd appreciate it if you stopped mentioning it." I don't see the need to get clever when dealing with rude people. I just ask them to stop being rude.

[jackfaire]

I've always wondered if people like that just want to see people fall over themselves apologizing, or see them get upset over the fact that it can't just stay an old event.

I have always gotten the impression with parents who do the whole, "see even though we have no way of actually knowing that you should believe your life would be a miserable hellhole if we hadn't stopped you from living your life on your terms. Now worship us as the gods we are."

Just suck because they have this life long mentality that they always know better than their kids. In fact I am willing to bet that even as kids they were the kind of people that felt they knew better than everyone else.

[blas87]

See, I don't think Andara's idea is clever or cheeky. I think it gets right to the point. Is it relevant at all that someone is still sore at me because I made a comment about their shirt x many years ago? Absolutely not. I'd love to see someone struggle to explain that. But that would never happen. As I said before, I'd probably just have someone mad at me for days. But I'd get the same result just by simply asking that person to quit bringing it up. Because their line of thinking is just plain old people should never be rude. Well, that's fine and dandy, but rude is a loose term and means something different to everyone, and not only that, but there comes a time where something that was said years ago should be forgiven, if not, at least forgotten.

[jackfaire]

Why not just say, "That's a time in my life that I don't think about now. I've moved on. I'd appreciate it if you stopped mentioning it." I don't see the need to get clever when dealing with rude people. I just ask them to stop being rude.

Uhm except they are rude people. Rude people don't stop being rude because you asked them too. Most people who are rude to be rude will only be rude to you as long as your too polite to tell them where to stick it. The instant that you stand up to them and tell them what for they back off.

This is from personal experience.

[Andara Bledin]

A note about my method is that I have a way of phrasing things like this so that I come off as sounding genuinely interested in the answer. And I am, to a degree; I want to know how they justify to themselves bringing that shit up over and over again. It takes a bit of practice to find that tone that conveys curiosity without sounding like a smartass.

^-.-^