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This is one of those things I understand, but it still annoys me.
My son looks androgynous, even for a toddler. Though I never have him dressed up in pink tutus (though he totally could wear one if he wanted), people still often mistake him for a girl, because he has long, curly hair.
I don't care if people think he is a girl. If a stranger refers to him as 'her', I don't bother correcting them usually, since I will never see them again.
But it annoys me when people get all coy about it. Today a woman asked him 4 times what his name was. He of course refused to answer because he is shy, but instead of asking me, she kept badgering him. I cannot be 100% sure but I think she was trying to determine his gender and would have been embarrassed if she asked, "What is his/her name?" and got it wrong (she had been whispering to another woman and they were both staring at him before she asked, which made me think they were debating what he was).
Also today in the restroom a little girl asked her grandma, "Is that a boy or girl?" Instead of asking me, the grandma said, "Uhhhhhhh it's a girl." (she was obviously guessing).
I understand the confusion. I understand they would be embarrassed if they assumed he was a boy and he was really a girl who liked Thomas the Tank Engine t-shirts. I understand they don't want to upset me. But seriously, I'm not dumb enough to think my kid doesn't look androgynous and I don't mind if you guess wrong or if you have to ask!
So, I know there is nothing I can do about it, I understand and sympathize with the reasons for it, but I still find it mildly irritating so I wanted to bitch about it here.
On a side note, other little kids rarely seem to have a problem divining his gender (the little girl in the restroom was a rarity). I wonder why. I think adults are maybe just more aware of embarrassing themselves or the parents if they get it wrong and second-guess themselves, and little kids just don't give a crap.
My son looks androgynous, even for a toddler. Though I never have him dressed up in pink tutus (though he totally could wear one if he wanted), people still often mistake him for a girl, because he has long, curly hair.
I don't care if people think he is a girl. If a stranger refers to him as 'her', I don't bother correcting them usually, since I will never see them again.
But it annoys me when people get all coy about it. Today a woman asked him 4 times what his name was. He of course refused to answer because he is shy, but instead of asking me, she kept badgering him. I cannot be 100% sure but I think she was trying to determine his gender and would have been embarrassed if she asked, "What is his/her name?" and got it wrong (she had been whispering to another woman and they were both staring at him before she asked, which made me think they were debating what he was).
Also today in the restroom a little girl asked her grandma, "Is that a boy or girl?" Instead of asking me, the grandma said, "Uhhhhhhh it's a girl." (she was obviously guessing).
I understand the confusion. I understand they would be embarrassed if they assumed he was a boy and he was really a girl who liked Thomas the Tank Engine t-shirts. I understand they don't want to upset me. But seriously, I'm not dumb enough to think my kid doesn't look androgynous and I don't mind if you guess wrong or if you have to ask!
So, I know there is nothing I can do about it, I understand and sympathize with the reasons for it, but I still find it mildly irritating so I wanted to bitch about it here.
On a side note, other little kids rarely seem to have a problem divining his gender (the little girl in the restroom was a rarity). I wonder why. I think adults are maybe just more aware of embarrassing themselves or the parents if they get it wrong and second-guess themselves, and little kids just don't give a crap.
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