It's not a real relationship.

[Mytical]

I am beginning to wonder what is in the water around here. Lately I've had a few women actively chasing me. My body is broken down, my finances are .. shaky at best, and honestly right now I look like something that crawled out of a cave (not quite Grizzly Adams, but absolutely not Elven in nature either).

I've been going to the doctors..a lot..and so I've been out more then normal. Have had friends to take me back and forth to doctors..because my mind is a bit cloudy from pain meds..and don't want to risk driving. Lately a few more people have been tagging along on these trips..why I have no idea..not like we are going to Kings Island or something.

So..here I am, huddled, miserable in the vehicle (getting into or out of a vehicle with my condition is FUN..ugh..but so is standing and sitting lol)..and a few of the tag along females have started to ask me to movies..dinner..etc. I've turned down every one. They don't have a problem with it, and are not the issue. I think they are just trying to get me out and active .. hoping to help speed up recovery.

No the issue is..I will call him J. After dropping everybody off this gem of a conversation happened.

J - "What is your problem..these girls are hanging all over you..I would eat that up."
Me - "They are probably being nice since they know I am sick, and besides..I am in a relationship."
J - "That is not a real relationship, its a cyber relationship..these girls are real. For all you know the other person is a guy pretending or something."
Me - "Not counting the fact that I have talked to them, it is a real relationship. Heck she has been very understanding lately, because I have not had much energy or ability to see her as much as I'd like..."
J - (Cutting me off) "Mytical, you are an idiot. She is thousands of miles away..you may never see her face to face..that is not a real relationship. These girls want to go out with you..I'd kill for that attention."
Me - "It's real to me, you need to accept that and let it go."
J - "Whatever."

I'm not going to ask J to take me anymore..I have other people I can rely on..who don't judge me. What J doesn't think I don't want to be with my SO..don't wish I could hold them in my arms? I do. Just because they are far away, doesn't make it not real. Wouldn't trade Marm for the world...

My question is..when did I suddenly become popular with the ladies in the first place. Couldn't even get them to notice me for 36(ish) years. Is it pity, because I am ill? Or is something else going on?

[Andara Bledin]

Some people just don't get that online relationships are just as valid, if more distant, than face-to-face relationships.

I applaud your decision to not waste time fighting with J over what is and isn't "real" and just finding someone less irritating to help you out.

^-.-^

[HYHYBT]

The internet is just another way to communicate. Sure, it's easier for someone to pretend to be someone they're not at a distance, but if you know someone enough to tell they're not, it's real.

I halfway hate to bring this in... but these two, though they'd known each other before, only became a couple after being separated by a significant chunk of the globe. This is, reportedly, their first meeting after that, and their first kiss. It seems relevant. (And I hate that most places that have this photo cut off the legs. In a way, that's what really makes the picture.)

[MaggieTheCat]

My husband and I met online. In a video game chatroom, no less, not one of those dating sites like eHarmony. We knew each other online for almost 10 years before we actually started dating, and then did the long distance thing for over a year before I actually moved in with him.

Don't let people like J bother you. He's probably just jealous.

[Crazedclerkthe2nd]

My wife and I met online. 1200 miles and a ton of immigration paperwork later we are happily married going on almost 4 years now.

[SongsOfDragons]

Housemate's boyfriend lives in Mississippi. I #know# it's not a fake relationship.

[ExRetailDrone]

I met my husband in a video game. Granted, we were living in the same town at the time and knew some of the same people, but hadn't met in person until we were already well on our way to a friendship and later a relationship. And just because you are in a non-long distance relationship with someone doesn't necessarily mean that you know the person. When I met my husband, I was in a relationship with my ex and we were living together. The relationship was rocky and things happened that pushed it to the breaking point. The relationship exploded in a fiery inferno, and due to the following shitstorm, I found out that the person I had been dating for the past 5.5 years was someone I didn't know at all. He turned out to be a manipulative, horrible shitstain on the human race and I ended up feeling betrayed and stupid. At that point I knew my now husband better than I knew my ex, and my husband and I had only known each other for maybe 6 months by that point.

Mytical, I applaud you for being mature and realizing that J doesn't know what he's talking about and removing yourself from that situation. You don't need to deal with that when you are trying to get well. Long distance relationships are not any less real than non-long distance ones... and sometimes, they are more real, depending on the situation.

[SkullKing]

My question is..when did I suddenly become popular with the ladies in the first place. Couldn't even get them to notice me for 36(ish) years. Is it pity, because I am ill? Or is something else going on?

Odds are that they know you are in pain and just want to do something nice for you.

As for your friend, try not to be too harsh with him. It is a shame he does not understand your relationships(it is a real relationship) But He might be genuinely worried that you may miss out on a "real" relationship, for a "fake" one.

He may be insensitive, but if he really is your friend and has been driving you to the doctor and so on, he just might be worried with you.

[blas87]

Don't let your dumb friend get you down.

Your relationship is as real as anyone else's. You're an awesome person.

I hope and pray everything gets better for you health wise, friend! Your posts have worried me a bit.

[Aethian]

My boyfriend and I met in a chat room. And right now we are long distance with me only getting to see him rarely. I know we're a real relationship.

[RedRoseSpiral]

I got that shit alot when me and my man got together (I'm in the US and he's in Australia). It didn't stop until we met for the first time. Now we've been together for 3 1/2 years, and I'm immigrating to Australia when we're both done with college. Don't let them get you down.

[Fire_on_High]

I met my hubby on a Star Wars related IRC. We'll be celebrating our 10th this Nov.

[powerboy]

My wife and I had met in a paranormal web show chat room.

[Akasa]

They may be trying to speed your recovery or you may be having the same issue I have. Whenever I'm in a relationship men come out of the wood work, when I'm single I have a hard time getting a date.
Don't let your friend get you down. I've had long distance relationships, they can be tough, but they can be worth it. They are definitely real.