"I'm Cleaning Out My Friend List!"

[smileyeagle1021]

I hate the guilt trip messages, too.
"I want to see which friends are reading my page..." (Usually a "Copy and paste and I will reply" thing that requires you to think of a word that starts with a certain letter in your name. I hate those. It's almost always the letter "K" and I suck at thinking of words to fit the request.)
"If you are my friend you will repost..."
"I already know which of my friends will repost..."
"Only X% of my friends will do this..."

The variation I hate is the stuff that goes "like if you love Jesus, ignore if you are a vile sinner." Well, that escalated quickly. Or "I'm having a bad day, how many likes can I get to make my day better?" If the quality of your day is determined by the number of likes you get, then there is something wrong with you. My personal favorite though was my husband's birthday last year, I got at least 10 messages from people the day after shaming me for not writing "happy birthday" on his wall, and how I was the worst husband ever blah blah blah... why the hell should I post it on his wall when I can say it to him sitting 2 feet away from me?

[cindybubbles]

I've only blocked one person from my list of friends. ONE person. And it was because he was harassing me by trying to chat me up on Facebook and sending private messages. I've worked with him before on Captain N stuff (we were both big fans), but we've only met online, and this was in the early days of the Internet (when it became available to us masses).

[hinakiba777]

I've only ever done one MASS defriending and I did make a status update about it. But it was more along the lines of "I'm cleaning out my friend's list, I might accidentally delete real friends, if I do just add me."

Many of my facebook friends had alternate names, or they don't use their face for a profile picture. (to prevent facebook stalking I guess) So it might be my best friend Marc, but it says "Chester Starship" and it's a picture of a hamster. My feed was filled with people I knew in my first year of university, that I had not talked to in years.

The only time I was ever unfriended on facebook that bugged me was when a girl I had been very good friends with unfriended me when I moved. She never told me why, even when asked.I was sad.

[smileyeagle1021]

The only time I was ever unfriended on facebook that bugged me was when a girl I had been very good friends with unfriended me when I moved. She never told me why, even when asked.I was sad.

Sometimes it is better not knowing...I had a guy tell me that he unfriended me because he, and I quote, "simply couldn't be friends with someone who is incapable of doing a psychic reading over great distances" and that my doubt in the effectively of doing a tarot reading over an instant message was "offensive" Sometimes losing touch is easier than holy batshit insane. Granted, there are quite a few people who unfriended me for coming out and leaving the church, but I expected that, you don't expect someone to get offended by your lack of psychic abilities.

[hinakiba777]

The variation I hate is the stuff that goes "like if you love Jesus, ignore if you are a vile sinner." Well, that escalated quickly.

I saw one of these that said: "Like if you love your Grandma. Ignore if you want her to die!"

EVERYONE who posted that on my feed, got a comment from me about how all my grandparents are dead. Which I admit was a little petty, but it stung. I loved my grandparents.

[blas87]

Yeah, sometimes it's better not to know. I don't delete people that often, I usually skip straight to block if a person won't get the hint that I am not a phone/computer babysitter, and I do not have and do not want all day to sit and chat with them.

A lot of people just have no common sense with that. It's one thing to be sitting in a waiting room at the dentist and say a few things, but once I'm done and out, I'm back in the car and on my way, I'm not talking to you anymore. Especially when I'm somewhere without wifi, I really won't play on my FB app that much.

If your biggest problem in life is that your FB friends don't message you enough, you probably need a job or need to get some real one on one time with people.

[Pixilated]

Just found this thread and of all the ironies, I'm taking a slight break from FB ... still checking for FB messages and playing 2 or 3 games but am ignoring my wall altogether. I was getting angry and depressed and it was just eating up way too much time for nothing at all. I do miss all the kitty photos, though.

*snip*

I hate the guilt trip messages, too.
"I want to see which friends are reading my page..." (Usually a "Copy and paste and I will reply" thing that requires you to think of a word that starts with a certain letter in your name. I hate those. It's almost always the letter "K" and I suck at thinking of words to fit the request.)
"If you are my friend you will repost..."
"I already know which of my friends will repost..."
"Only X% of my friends will do this..."

The flip side of these are the often ALL-CAPS rants that end with "DO YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO POST THIS???" Ya know, sir or madam, perhaps you ought to cut back on the caffeine ...

What if its done a different way? I don't think I have even ten to begin with, but if I ever felt my friends list was getting unwieldy, knowing that some people get offended at being unfriended with no explanation, I might try to put up some sort of explanation first. Not a test, and certainly not bait, just a note that FB was taking up too much of my time (or whatever) and I had to cut back and it doesn't mean anything beyond that.

Will annoy the people that will see it as "oh god another grab for attention" and still offend the people that you unfriended because how dare you unfriend them no matter what your reasoning.

HYHYBT: I was thinking of something similar: "Sorry, I find lately I've been spending way too much time on FB; won't be around as much" or whatever.
jackfaire: yeah, there probably are those kinds of people but TFB to them.

*snip*

Half of the time, I don't know or care if I've been deleted by someone until much later. If someone's going to delete me over a fight at work or something stupid like that because I take up "space", do it and don't announce it.

*snip*

I have seen a few people say, "Let me know if you want to stay on my list" and I really don't have a problem with that. OTOH, I don't have a problem if I miss it and get deleted, since I also never know when I've been deleted and don't particularly care. The only time I ever realized I'd been unfriended was when a relative did it and I tried to post something to them and couldn't find them. Didn't know why until I tried to contact them to find out WTF happened. It pissed me off mightily, not because they'd done it (I understood their reason for doing so), but for crying out loud, could you not even send me a FB message or an email saying, "X appeared on your wall and on mine; I can't have stuff like that on my wall because [legitimate reason, IMO] so sorry, I have to unfriend you."

If I'm not up against a cap, I don't bother clearing friends lists unless I need to actively use them for something.

In the case of Facebook, all the people I don't really know are already on their own group, so it's not like I ever confuse them with people who are actually friends.

I don't bother either, unless somebody goes off the rails and starts posting really awful stuff.

I need to get my "friends" organized into groups. Of course that will involve time and effort, LOL.

[Andara Bledin]

I need to get my "friends" organized into groups. Of course that will involve time and effort, LOL.

You can do it piecemeal just fine, too. You have a few minutes, go through a letter and see if you can't get them all organized into groups.

I have multiple groups. I have my Family group, my Friends (for people I actually know in person or am really close with online), my Gaming and my Online Gaming groups, my FB Games group... You get the idea. And a lot of people will be on multiple lists, too. It's like labeling your email. Just because it's got one label doesn't mean it shouldn't have another.

[blas87]

I also noticed that for whatever reason, I can go on my laptop and try to put myself as invisible, but it somehow never sticks to my cell phone, and people are always trying to message me. I guess my mom said one day that when I told her I was driving, she saw I was "online", but then I found that as long as you've recently used your app, it says you're online.

So then you get the whiney babies "I KNOW your online!!!!"....once again....I'm behind the wheel or running an errand or at the doctor/dentist/eyedoctor/whatever. Or I went on my *too short* break at work and now I'm back to work. Facebook and its messenger are not the center of the universe. People survived for years without messaging each other every moment of the day. Besides, the people I truly care to talk to, I have their actual phone numbers and I'll text them.

[smileyeagle1021]

So then you get the whiney babies "I KNOW your online!!!!"....once again....I'm behind the wheel or running an errand or at the doctor/dentist/eyedoctor/whatever. Or I went on my *too short* break at work and now I'm back to work. Facebook and its messenger are not the center of the universe. People survived for years without messaging each other every moment of the day. Besides, the people I truly care to talk to, I have their actual phone numbers and I'll text them.

I get that too... I leave facebook running in the background while I'm at work... it is amazing how a quick 30 second break will often times clear the head enough to be able to figure out how to solve a problem... but I'll get the people who I'll take that 30 second break who have left 20 messages "why did you bother signing in if you don't want to talk"... because I want to be able to see my notifications, because checking notifications is a perfect not a break break to give me a few seconds breather to take a break from a problem so I can try attacking it from a different angle... believe it or not, facebook has features other than the messenger (often times when I'm at work I'll keep it on the CNN or MSN or whatever news I'm following that day facebook page because it is quicker on those micro breaks to look at their facebook page to see what the headlines are than to actually go to their website).

[Bloodsoul]

I just remembered I was once able to stay on someone's friends list because I quoted The Clash. =Þ

Many of my facebook friends had alternate names, or they don't use their face for a profile picture. (to prevent facebook stalking I guess) So it might be my best friend Marc, but it says "Chester Starship" and it's a picture of a hamster.

Miniature Giant Space Hamster?

[Ree]

What does it cost someone to leave people on there?

That's what I wonder.

I know that several people have removed me from their lists with no explanation, as I still see them posting on mutual friends' posts.

It does hurt, because then I wonder if I have offended them with what I have posted. I have repeatedly asked people to just let me know if they want to be excluded from certain types of posts, such as with images, or those with strong language.

I have no problem filtering.

The only times I have ever removed someone from my friend's list is because I had a problem with them in real life and didn't want to have any more to do with them.

When I remove them, I usually block them as well.

I think there have only been about 3 people that I have removed, and in one case, I ended up adding them back.

[blas87]

Oh, I'm all about making this a challenge, now.

If you're going to have the balls to call me or someone else I know out because we don't pay you enough FB attention, go ahead and delete away. Please.

Don't be like the kid that threatens to run away from home just for attention.

[siead_lietrathua]

Oh, I'm all about making this a challenge, now.

If you're going to have the balls to call me or someone else I know out because we don't pay you enough FB attention, go ahead and delete away. Please.

Don't be like the kid that threatens to run away from home just for attention.

sad thing is the people i've had post those statuses... still never delete me. and i refuse to comment on them. it's totally for attention seeking.

[blas87]

I have no doubt there may be some deletion of some sort going on in there, that it isn't just totally empty threats or cries for attention, but it's most likely 90% empty threats and cries for attention.

Goodness gracious, it's Facebook. Maybe I'm no better for bitching about how other people act stupid on it, when I could certainly just go dormant. LOL.