Any Thread That Mentions The Word "Bullying"

[the_std]

I can't be the only one who has noticed this phenomenon.

Any time a thread even casually mentions bullying, or someone in a reply mentions it, the whole thread seems to instantly devolve into "well, my childhood was so AWFUL these people were all so MEAN" and, essentially, dick-comparing contests about who had the more traumatic childhood.

I can understand it in a thread dedicated to the subject, sure, but even if it was, "So last night on Seinfeld they mentioned bullying, and then Kramer told this hilarious joke!", someone will inevitably take it to the point of comparing it to their experiences growing up. It always seems to be the same people, too, telling the same stories we've heard a hundred times.

It's incredibly frustrating to watch a potentially interesting topic get taken down by these people. I understand, childhood is rough, bullying is no fun. I was bullied too. But cut out the sob story and save it for the occasions that truly call for it!

[Hyena Dandy]

Is that on here?

I thought the threads have been pretty good on here, honestly.

Most of the sob stories tend to be when trying to illustrate that bullying does damage.

[HYHYBT]

I don't suppose you'd mind providing examples of this phenomenon?

[Andara Bledin]

Most threads about bullying do tend to turn into war story threads, here.

It's fairly normal for people, when given an example of a situation, will share their experience with said situation. If a thread gets derailed due to it, then it means that those not of that crowd must not have wanted to continue the primary discussion enough to actually, you know, continue the primary discussion.

^-.-^

[BlaqueKatt]

Most of the sob stories tend to be when trying to illustrate that bullying does damage.

especially as those that have never experienced true hardcore torment and emotional torture at the hands of another human, believe bullying is "just name calling" and can and should be easily ignored, and that those who can't ignore it are somehow "weak" or "thin-skinned". Some people don't realize their experience =/= everyone else's experience.

[Greenday]

especially as those that have never experienced true hardcore torment and emotional torture at the hands of another human, believe bullying is "just name calling" and can and should be easily ignored, and that those who can't ignore it are somehow "weak" or "thin-skinned". Some people don't realize their experience =/= everyone else's experience.

It's this attitude that makes me not like bullying coming up. You don't need to be permanently emotionally scarred to have deal with bullying. As you said, everyone has a different experience.

[Lace Neil Singer]

*shrugs* I've posted my experiences, however, I don't believe I'm currently permanently scarred. If anything, I believe that it made me a stronger person in many ways.

However, I agree with Hyena Dandy. A lot of the time, people who haven't been bullying tend to be dismissive of the damage it does to people and say "Why don't you ignore it?" or "Why didn't you just tell a teacher?" without fully understanding. Therefore, a lot of people are going to share experiences in order to teach them that they're wrong.

I notice much the same thing happens in discussions on eating disorders, depression or self harm... and I don't believe it "ruins" the thread, unless someone is actively attention whoring for sympathy. And if they are, a simple click of the report button will solve that.

[BlaqueKatt]

It's this attitude that makes me not like bullying coming up. You don't need to be permanently emotionally scarred to have deal with bullying. As you said, everyone has a different experience.

yes but you convieniently ignored the fact that those who aren't emotionally scarred, can't fathom how bad it can be for some people, because some people just don't get "my experience =/=everyone's experience"

Armchair quarterbacking someone else's life when you don't know what they went/are going through is very callous, and I see it a lot.

yes you(generic you) may have just been called names, but someone else may have been physically hit/assaulted, and can't "just brush it off"

It's like saying, "oh you're allergic to penicillin, I'm not, here take this penicillin tablet." Or "oh you can't walk, you should run this marathon, I did it, if you can't you're just lazy."

[the_std]

First of all, I am not going to name specific examples because hurt feelings are never a good thing. I've seen it here, I've seen it on CS and I've seen it on a lot of other sites where people who feel ostracized from society tend to gather.

Andara, you would have a point if it wasn't every freaking thread that mentions bullying that ends up going down this road. The people who don't participate in the bullying tack might want to see the original point of the thread continued, however, they know that it is essentially futile. I did my bit back before I recognized this trend to try to bring things back around, and I've seen other people try, too. But sometimes even the mention of school turns into a big "oh poor me, my life was so hard, school sucked!" clusterfuck. Again, I don't mind if it's a thread created for those specific purposes, but that isn't always the case.

BK, that makes some pretty harsh assumptions about the people who don't participate in these threads. I was bullied in school. Who the hell wasn't? I have emotional scars and I haven't led the easiest of lives. But I don't feel the need to guilt-trip and browbeat everyone around me whenever a slight mention of a potential topic that had something to do with a hard time in my life comes up. I highly doubt that there are many people on Fratching and CS who weren't bullied - the general make-up of the population seems to tend towards people who are ostracized or alienated for whatever reason. So whenever you go down that road, you are yelling at the wrong people and that gets damned frustrating.

It would be nice to have a conversation about a school topic or a bullying topic without everyone repeating their life story when it comes to how hard they had it. WE GET IT. A kid's life isn't always easy. It is not the only damn thing to talk about in regards to that area of life!

[HYHYBT]

The people who don't participate in the bullying tack might want to see the original point of the thread continued, however, they know that it is essentially futile.

Not even remotely true. The *only* reason threads don't continue with the content you suggest is that nobody choses to add said content. If you added it yourself, and if it was interesting enough for others to respond, the thread would continue.

(One of the things I'm sick of is people complaining that others kept them from adding to a text conversation. Unless someone has blocked you from the site or is deleting your posts, that claim is false.)

[the_std]

You know what? I've done it many times before - tried to get the thread back on track, and it just keeps going down the same road. I've stopped trying because I see the pattern and do believe it's futile to keep on going.

[Greenday]

You know what? I've done it many times before - tried to get the thread back on track, and it just keeps going down the same road. I've stopped trying because I see the pattern and do believe it's futile to keep on going.

Pretty much this. It happens and you are left to a "there goes the thread" attitude.

[Peppergirl]

I was lucky never to have been bullied as a kid or even picked upon. However, I find bullying repulsive and extremely upsetting.

That said, I do find myself in agreement with what STD has said, but I've always been afraid of saying so because I'd incur the wrath of judgment from people who have been bullied. The attitude is almost as if people who have not been bullied can't understand or sympathize with those who have, so we shouldn't be allowed to have an opinion on it.

[Boozy]

Not even remotely true. The *only* reason threads don't continue with the content you suggest is that nobody choses to add said content. If you added it yourself, and if it was interesting enough for others to respond, the thread would continue.

Different people find different things interesting, but everyone finds their own stories interesting. So that's what people post, and why less personal, more informative posts tend to get ignored.

Personal anecdotes are also easier to share than other types of opinions. They aren't challenged as strongly and they don't need to be researched. You'll see mostly personal anecdotes and experiences shared on forums like this. I don't usually have a problem with it, because I understand why people do it. They want to participate, but there's a limit to how much research someone is going to put in for a silly little debate forum that they visit for fun and lulz. Most thoroughly researched and well-organized posts here inevitably turns out to be plagiarized from a higher-traffic site.

I agree with STD about personal stories getting annoying in certain instances. It does seem very prevalent in bullying threads. Those and gun control threads make my eyes glaze over, and I usually just skim them over quickly with mod glasses on, and move on to other threads.