Myself

[Jaden]

I'd say it's six of one, half dozen of the other. I'm a shut in because I'm just naturally an introvert, but I'm even more of one these days due to the problems I've had in recent years. I know how to deal with being angry or upset, but I don't know how to deal with the abandonment, or making new friends, because I don't want to make new friends only to lose them again...the 2 stories I told are only the most recent examples =/

I don't know how to cope with the abandonment issues. I know people come and go. I get that, people abandon you and that's life. But...not everybody, and not constantly, without stopping, for the past several years of my life. It's the fact that I get so attached to people, only to lose them again, and the fact that every girl I date feels the need to run around on me and then ditch me, though maybe I just have bad taste in women. I just want a friend to stay with me. I don't know why it's so much to ask.

I know I haven't exactly been captain sunshine before now, but I feel like this post was even more melodramatic than normal, so...sorry about that =/

[blas87]

You seem to have tried the best you could to find out why you were abandoned by your friends.

That is by no means being shut in or refusing to fix anything.

They shut you down and left you no reason or response. That's wrong.

[Jaden]

Yeah. I just need to figure out how to get my life back together and stop feeling so alone. The meds kind of help...but in the back of my mind, I know it's just covering up my issues instead of solving them. They make me functional, but they don't make me healthy, if that makes sense.

[SkullKing]

Posting again is a good thing too.

It gives you some interaction with people. Do not underestimate the help online contact can do.

You say you like video games and music.

wher eyou live are there any free/cheap music encounters/show thta interest you?

What kind of games do you like?

[Jaden]

Not really. The place I live doesn't have much of a music scene. I go out to some open mike nights every once in a while and watch some people play, but that's about it.

I like a lot of things, mostly RPGs and platformers. I haven't been playing many games recently, though. I'm unemployed, so I don't have much money, and I've been mostly listening to more music lately, perhaps as a way to deal with my emotions.

[SkullKing]

I like a lot of things, mostly RPGs and platformers. I haven't been playing many games recently, though. I'm unemployed, so I don't have much money, and I've been mostly listening to more music lately, perhaps as a way to deal with my emotions.

have you tried online RPGs?

There are many forum based RPGs. Or some Free to play on-line RPGs(DC universe for example is very good).

Neither of those will cost you extra money.

[Andara Bledin]

You can also do RPGs with Skype, for when you can't be there, but text isn't enough to get you into the game.

One of the players in my crew is in another state, but Skype is awesome for getting her into the sessions without costing more than what we've all already got (we use a headset mic for the pickup on our end and the speakers for output - the headset mic seems to work really well).

^-.-^

[Jaden]

Perhaps I should've been more specific - when I said RPGs, I meant classic console-style ones, like Final Fantasy or Dragon Warrior or what have you. I do enjoy the occasional pencil and paper RPG, like DnD or what have you, but I feel like if I started playing an MMO I would spend all of my time doing that, and sitting around doing that all day certainly wouldn't help.

Truthfully, I've been trying to stay away from the video games recently, because while I do love playing them, I don't think it's very healthy for me to seclude myself in another world instead of dealing with my problems in this one. Because I know that's what I would do, because I've done it before. Maybe it's not any better to put my headphones on and listen to music a lot of the time, but at least I get some creative juices flowing there - I write a music blog which has a few followers, and I'm trying to learn guitar. But I feel completely isolated and like I have nobody to depend on, and I can't get my head clear enough to think straight. I feel like I'm just caught in a haze, and it's driving me crazy.

Thank you all for the advice you've been giving me, and I'm certainly willing to continue talking about all these things in this thread, but I know none of you are going to be able to solve my problems for me. I'm not looking for you to turn my life around, since I know that's impossible and too much to ask. Still, just talking about them helps in some ways, as does the dialogue I've been having with you all.

[Andara Bledin]

MMOs can certainly eat up your life if you're the sort to let them (I have problems with that, myself).

One option you might consider is using gaming as a reward for doing things to improve your situation.

Do up your budget for the week? You get X hours of game time.
Clean the kitched/bathroom/etc? You get Y hours of game time.
Do the laundry? You get Z hours of game time.

Also, with the guitar, if you have a way to record what you're doing, you could make yourself a YouTube channel and essentially blog your progress with that, so that it becomes more of a social activity rather than purely solo.

Another option for putting more structure into your life is to keep a log of what you spend time doing. Figure out where your time goes and see if you can work to balance your productivity with leisure activities.

^-.-^

[SkullKing]

The Pen and Paper RPG thing can be good thing too.

Since everyone needs to be present it won´t eat all your time like an MMO can(unless you are GMing).

It certainly helped me in a few difficult patches of my life.

Glad to know the dialog is helping.

[Jaden]

Well, the good news is I have a promising lead on a job, so I may at least have something productive to do with my time soon. The bad news is, I still feel really alone.

I do have a few friends I hang out with on the weekends, but it's nothing close or strong. I don't trust them enough to talk to them about anything important or let them in, they're just people I have fun with. We usually just hang out, get drunk and play video games. It's probably not the healthiest thing to do, but it's basically been part of my routine for a while now. So, I guess I'm not completely alone physically, but I still feel really alone, since I don't have an emotional connection with anybody, and it's hurting a lot.

[Greenday]

I doubt anybody here remembers me.

I do. Before you joined, I was probably the youngest poster at the time. I was 15/16 when I originally joined and MrSlugger was running it. Time went by and despite being younger than the others, you joined and my reign as youngest poster was over.

Honestly, I don't know what to tell you. I'm in a personal slump myself and trying to force myself out of it. But if you ever want someone to talk to, hit me up. Either here, skype, IRC, wherever. Since I'm unemployed retired until I get another job and currently a stay at home son, I have a lot of free time on my hands.

[Mytical]

I have some bad news..you may want to sit down for this. The bad news is..you are one of us that prefer 'quality'...over 'quantity'. Now..this can cause some serious issues. First, a lot of people prefer 'quantity' over 'quality'. They want an easy/free time with not much emotional strings attached. So it becomes much harder to find friends. Second, if you are an introvert..you don't approach people much, making it that much harder. Lastly, people tend to over look quiet people.

You have the power to make life what you want of it. LIFE CHEATS, but you can over come it. Only when you quit, does life win.

[Jaden]

Green: Yeah, I remember hanging out with you, Puck, and others in the chat room. For a long time, I was way more active in the chat room than on the board. Good times. It's crazy that it's been six years since I joined CS. I was 16. Geez.

Mytical: Yeah, I am a quiet person. I haven't given up, but...this isn't to denigrate anybody who's on anti-depressants, I mean, I'm on them myself, obviously, but I feel like I kind of gave up when I went on the pills. I always told myself that no matter how bad it got, I'd battle through it and make my own way, but things just got worse and worse, and without any support I couldn't handle it anymore, so I gave in, for the sake of my sanity.

[Andara Bledin]

... I feel like I kind of gave up when I went on the pills. I always told myself that no matter how bad it got, I'd battle through it and make my own way, but things just got worse and worse, and without any support I couldn't handle it anymore, so I gave in, for the sake of my sanity.

This is an unfortunately attitude in society where people will resist taking the medication that they need to get better because of the stigma of being on medication.

Diabetics aren't stigmatized over their need to take insulin, so why should those with depression be shamed for their need to take medication to correct their bodies' imperfect workings?

^-.-^