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You're just being picky

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  • You're just being picky

    I absolutely hate it when I give a list of reasons why I dislike a movie, or a video game, or a song, or whatever, and am given a response of "Why can't you just enjoy it?" or "It was entertaining, stop overthinking it" or "You're just being picky". You know what, I really don't care if you like something I dislike, but don't turn it into an attack on me.

    For whatever reason, when it comes to media, people feel completely justified with not having to defend their opinions. And you're right, you don't have to, but when somebody does, you shouldn't make them out to be stuck up. Not only is it both rude and uncalled for, you're the one going against the spirit of what was made, not me. When something is produced, the person making it put some thought into it, so what's wrong with me, the viewer or listener or player, putting thought into it myself? Fucking hell, I hate intellectual elitism as much as the next guy, but you know what I hate worse? Anti-intellectual elitism.

    I don't expect every movie to be Citizen Kane. Just as an example, I loved the A-Team movie. It was dumb and over-the-top, sure, but it didn't take itself seriously, it was funny, the action was great, and it was in the spirit of the original show. Cool. That doesn't mean I think Transformers 2 is anything more than atrocious.

    Again, it's the not the act of consuming media thoughtlessly that bothers me. While I might wish that people put more thought into why they like or dislike something, that's your prerogative. But don't act like it's a crime to put thought into forming opinions. Believe it or not, your revolutionary "Just let it entertain you and don't think about it" idea isn't even remotely new - it's the default state for all of humanity. Accusing me of being picky isn't defending your opinion, it's just giving you an excuse not to put any thought into your own.

  • #2
    "You need to broaden your horizons!" Or maybe it's just someone's personal preferences are narrower! I don't see why it has to be such a problem.

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    • #3
      My mom always says, "You're so critical!" when I comment on movies or books. Well, you know what? I am a writer. I love getting criticism. Because I will never learn and get better without it.

      Maybe if more people were more critical of the media they consume, then we wouldn't have such a flood of crap in theaters all the time.

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      • #4
        I get the people who go "You like this band, but the guy in this band sounds like the other one. Why don't you like them?" So? A lot of voices are similar to Nickelback's lead singer (I dislike their music).

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        • #5
          For whatever reason, when it comes to media, people feel completely justified with not having to defend their opinions.
          Saying "for whatever reason" like that implies that the reason, if any, is trivial. Far from it: the reason is that, not just a little, but nearly all of why a particular person likes a particular book, movie, song, etc boils down to personal taste, not objective merit. Does this contain your turn-ons and avoid your turn-offs, whether you're fully aware of what all of them are or not? Then you'll probably like it. If not, then not.

          And of course "did you like that?" and "is that good?" are largely independent. Take your example of Citizen Cane. As universally praised as a "good movie" as any ever made... and boring as hell. And would be even without knowing the end in advance, which of course everyone does. There's nothing specific *wrong* with it that I can put my finger on (and perhaps you could help there) and I can easily see what's supposed to be so great about it... but not how anyone stayed awake long enough to find out.
          "My in-laws are country people and at night you can hear their distinctive howl."

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          • #6
            Originally posted by HYHYBT View Post
            Saying "for whatever reason" like that implies that the reason, if any, is trivial. Far from it: the reason is that, not just a little, but nearly all of why a particular person likes a particular book, movie, song, etc boils down to personal taste, not objective merit. Does this contain your turn-ons and avoid your turn-offs, whether you're fully aware of what all of them are or not? Then you'll probably like it. If not, then not.
            My response to this is that, yes, it's true there is no real "objective" quality in media that one can put their finger on. But there are objective ways of measuring subjective preferences. If what you're saying is "who cares if Transformers 2 has terrible dialogue?" then there's really nothing I can say, as that's a matter of taste, but if you want to argue whether or not it has terrible dialogue, there's a conversation to be had there.

            Furthermore, I feel as though I can quantify and write about why it is that I like X movie/book/album/whatever, and whether you agree with me or not, fine, but don't just dismiss me by saying "Why can't you just be entertained?" It's just intellectual laziness. There's nothing wrong with that necessarily, not when it comes to things as ultimately trivial as movies and video games, but why condemn me for not wanting to be intellectually lazy? Why condemn me for putting thoughts into why I form my opinions? I can articulate it. If you can't, or don't want to put forth the effort, fine, do whatever you want, but don't get on my case just because I can and do feel like putting forth the effort.

            Originally posted by HYHYBT View Post
            And of course "did you like that?" and "is that good?" are largely independent. Take your example of Citizen Cane. As universally praised as a "good movie" as any ever made... and boring as hell. And would be even without knowing the end in advance, which of course everyone does. There's nothing specific *wrong* with it that I can put my finger on (and perhaps you could help there) and I can easily see what's supposed to be so great about it... but not how anyone stayed awake long enough to find out.
            I can understand why somebody would be bored by Citizen Kane. The reason why I'm not is that I find it fairly easy to place myself in the context of the time it was made. When it came out, Citizen Kane was like nothing ever made before that point. When I watched Citizen Kane, I wasn't thinking how outdated it'd become in the present age, which it undoubtedly has - I'm thinking how mindblowing little touches here and there must have been at the time, and about how advanced and sophisticated the cinematography is, to the point where that aspect, at least, still does hold up today. I'm thinking about how things which have become cinematic cliches at this point started with this moment or that moment, and in that, I get my enjoyment from it.

            But if you don't like Citizen Kane because you find it boring, fine, I understand. Similarly, if you do like movies that I hate, that's fine too. It's not the liking or the disliking, it's the fact that I constantly feel attacked for wanting to discuss and think about why I like or dislike something. I LIKE to think about these things. In fact, exactly what I'm doing is enjoying the movie, or song, or video game. I get way more enjoyment from a piece of media that I've thought about critically than I would have if I'd approached it mindlessly. I'll never fail to understand why people can't understand that.

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            • #7
              I'm suspecting this may be a bit of a left brain vs right brain issue, though the whole left brain/ right brain thing isn't the most sound science in the world. Nonetheless, it's still a good concept to go by.

              I don't mean to assume to know much about you as a person, but you seem to be a more analytical "left-brained" kind of person---in other words, the kind of person who is going to take things apart and try to see what's right and wrong with it. This is in contrast to a "right-brained" person who is going to focus on the whole, be more intuitive, etc. Your critics are probably more "right brained" oriented.

              It seems that when it comes to strong left-brained people and strong right-brained people, getting them to understand each other is kind of like trying to get strong introverts and strong extroverts to try to understand each other. They may come to understand each other in some way, but there will still probably be some disconnect.

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              • #8
                I have no problem with context of the time and so forth, and recognize that the movie was well-made; I just couldn't bring myself to care about the characters or story. Except for one point that made no sense, and that was about a minute before the end. They said everything had been sold, then they start burning it. Seems to me those would be mutually exclusive options.

                THAT nags at me. (The more so because, the one time before now I said as much, the response was very much as if I'd asked why water is wet.) Most of the rest I don't even remember.
                "My in-laws are country people and at night you can hear their distinctive howl."

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                • #9
                  Yeah, elitism is bad enough as it is, but when it's elitism over entertainment, something that is meant to be ENJOYED, it's infuriating. I especially hate it when people try to preasure me into watching something. Or when they find out I never watched what ever movie or TV show they love, they act like I am not from around here. Watching it becomes an obligations just to make them stop pestering me! Then when I do watch it, I feel like I *have* to like it or they will be offended. Then I will get lectures about how I'm just being picky or that I didn't understand it.

                  I mean, it's nice to want to watch something with me, but the more they become insufferably pushy, the more watching it feels like a chore.

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                  • #10
                    Sometimes I get accused of being too picky, but generally, I dunno. If I'm watching a TV show, or a movie, or something and I'm actively picking at a plot hole DURING the action, that says something to me.

                    For example, in a recent MLP episode, the whole weather system of the world seems to rely on all the pegasi flying really fast. One of the best flyers in the world is there to oversee the proceedings. It looks like it's going to fail... And she doesn't do anything to help.

                    That bothered me, to the point I was having trouble concentrating on the rest of the episode (fortunately that was the climax.)

                    If something occurs to me AFTER the film, I'm less bothered. Or if something is CLEARLY required for the plot (for example, despite all my nitpicks against TNA wrestling, I never ask "Why do they want to solve this with a wrestling match?").

                    But otherwise, it often bothers me.
                    "Nam castum esse decet pium poetam
                    ipsum, versiculos nihil necessest"

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